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Default Dial-A-Monkey - 12-12-2007, 11:14 PM

Well, it seems that the worshipers of fat chink idols have come up with a new way to spread their satanic message across the interwebs. A new service called "Dial a Monkey" puts you in touch with a raggedy dot-head "preist" somewhere, and they try and answer such idiotic booda questions as "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

Quote:
Have a Buddhist Question?
'Ask a Monk' has the Answer


CLEVELAND -- When the Ven. Shih Ying-Fa parks his 5-foot-10 frame before the computer in his home office, he never knows who will be seeking his help.

It could be a high school student in Baton Rouge, La., who asks the difference between Theravada and Mahayana Buddhism for a class.

Or a poet in Tallahassee, Fla., who wonders if attending a Zen Buddhist group is for him.

Or a hospital worker in London who has practiced martial arts for 20 years but isn't sure if they are compatible with Buddhist teachings.

Ying-Fa is the human behind "Ask a Monk," an online information and advice service for Buddhists and those who want to know more about Buddhism. The 55-year-old abbot of CloudWater Zendo, the Zen Center of Cleveland, receives at least 20 e-mails a week from as far away as China, Japan and New Zealand.

Ying-Fa has been answering Buddhist queries ever since his a teacher recommended that he include the feature on the Zen Center's site, www.cloudwater.org/askamonk.html.

"It's a wonderful way to answer the many, many questions people have about a tradition with which they're probably not that familiar,"

The majority of people ask about specific aspects of Buddhist meditation and teaching, Ying-Fa said. Some people question his answers, but the monk doesn't seem to mind: "The Buddhist tradition insists that you test things out for yourself and not believe things just because someone said them."

There are times, though, when Ying-Fa can only shake his head in sadness and frustration at what people write.

Several years ago, he received an e-mail from a man who claimed to be an accomplished Zen student because he was able to get into the minds of animals he was hunting before he shot them. The man said he could "be one with the animal," which enabled him to track them efficiently.

"That may make you a great hunter," Ying-Fa responded, "but it also makes you a lousy Zen student since you use your meditative concentration to take life instead of preserving it."

The man never wrote back.

Ying-Fa said he spends six to seven hours a week responding to e-mails. It helps, he said, that he's "a fairly good typist," the result of years as a TV and radio journalist in several states using his legal name, Michael Bonasso.

Ying-Fa said he tries to answer "Ask a Monk" e-mails within 24 hours, giving priority to those writers with a family member or animal near death, or those experiencing other life crises. A speedy response can be difficult when he travels, however, since he does not have a laptop ("My karma has not been such that I currently own one").

That's about to change. Sitting in a coffee shop last month, Ying-Fa brandished an iPhone, an early Christmas present from his wife, the Ven. Shih Ming-Xing, the assistant abbot at the Zen center.
And here I thought that these bald-headed demons were supposed to take a vow of poverty...And it turns out that he's some white boy from ohio who has a jap name? What kind of racist would willfully defecate on America by turning into a slant voluntarily?

I'd like to suggest a couple of questions to put to this idolator, and maybe our parishoners can help.

1. Why have you decided to spit on Jesus?

2. Where in the Holy Bible does it say that God is a fat chink?


I encourage all True Christians™ to email their questions in to this little demon at http://www.cloudwater.org/askamonk.html. Every day. Praise Jesus!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Dial-A-Monkey - 12-12-2007, 11:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well, it seems that the worshipers of fat chink idols have come up with a new way to spread their satanic message across the interwebs. A new service called "Dial a Monkey" puts you in touch with a raggedy dot-head "preist" somewhere, and they try and answer such idiotic booda questions as "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

And here I thought that these bald-headed demons were supposed to take a vow of poverty...And it turns out that he's some white boy from ohio who has a jap name? What kind of racist would willfully defecate on America by turning into a slant voluntarily?

I'd like to suggest a couple of questions to put to this idolator, and maybe our parishoners can help.

1. Why have you decided to spit on Jesus?

2. Where in the Holy Bible does it say that God is a fat chink?


I encourage all True Christians™ to email their questions in to this little demon at http://www.cloudwater.org/askamonk.html. Every day. Praise Jesus!
Hopefully that gun nut he hatefully insulted will be able to use his zeninja skills to track the awful psuedo-slant down and allow him to "transcend this incarnation", if you know what I mean.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Dial-A-Monkey - 12-12-2007, 11:36 PM

More proof that being a non-white is nothing more than a lifestyle choice.


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Default Re: Dial-A-Monkey - 12-12-2007, 11:36 PM

Oh, and here I thought you were giving out Obama's hotline number.





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Default Re: Dial-A-Monkey - 12-13-2007, 05:25 AM

I hope their instaban filter is as good as ours.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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