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Default Jesus and guns - 09-24-2006, 09:13 AM

Although im skeptical i thought most of this forums residents could all enjoy a theoretical thread On jesus and guns.

Heres a few fun questions for all your forum dwellers

-If jesus owned a gun what would it be

- how good a gunslinger would he be

- in a competition between jesus and god to see who had better aim who would win

-who here thinks jesus goes hunting in heaven

(all of this is of course supposing christianity is true)
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Default 09-24-2006, 11:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord_lancelout View Post
Although im skeptical i thought most of this forums residents could all enjoy a theoretical thread On jesus and guns.

Heres a few fun questions for all your forum dwellers

-If jesus owned a gun what would it be

- how good a gunslinger would he be

- in a competition between jesus and god to see who had better aim who would win

-who here thinks jesus goes hunting in heaven

(all of this is of course supposing christianity is true)
Supposing you had a brain, you would check and see if a similar or even identical thread had already been started. If you had any decency, you wouldn't spit on our Saviour by continually refusing to capitalize His name.

You have earned 10 shiny new infraction points for being a degenerate fool.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default 09-24-2006, 07:06 PM

Language infraction, What words in particular

I see two other gun threads but none of them refer to jesus
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Default 09-24-2006, 08:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord_lancelout View Post
Language infraction, What words in particular

I see two other gun threads but none of them refer to jesus
EVERYTHING REFERS TO JESUS! This is JESUS' FAVORITE FORUM! Do they even allow guns in Canuckistan? I doubt it.


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Default 09-24-2006, 09:37 PM

Canuckistan? I think you should review your geography

I also would like to point out that it is self evident that jesus loves me far more then you as he stands with me at this moment
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Default 09-24-2006, 09:51 PM

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Originally Posted by Lord_lancelout View Post
Canuckistan? I think you should review your geography

I also would like to point out that it is self evident that jesus loves me far more then you as he stands with me at this moment
That isn't JESUS. It's your homer boyfriend Brucie. As I pointed out earlier, GODLY President Bush is preparing to invade Canuckistan in the near future. Get your white flag out.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default 09-24-2006, 10:22 PM

Quote:
That isn't JESUS. It's your homer boyfriend Brucie. As I pointed out earlier, GODLY President Bush is preparing to invade Canuckistan in the near future. Get your white flag out.
All I can say is: Poor Canuckistanians. Although you probably don't care much for them...


Soon in Christ
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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-02-2006, 06:49 AM

I've visited Canuckistan once. Only for about 1 second. Too many liberals and Negros for my liking. Did a mention that I saw a group of Rastalovers buring a doll of our sweet Jesus!? This is why that land is no longer on the map.
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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-02-2006, 08:11 AM

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Originally Posted by Carlton Green View Post
I've visited Canuckistan once. Only for about 1 second. Too many liberals and Negros for my liking. Did a mention that I saw a group of Rastalovers buring a doll of our sweet Jesus!? This is why that land is no longer on the map.
My dear sir, I do hope you meant to say "action figure" or perhaps "inflatable snuggle toy".

Jesus is not an appropriate subject for the makers of girly dolls.
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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-02-2006, 05:15 PM

Jesus didn't have a gun
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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-02-2006, 06:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
My dear sir, I do hope you meant to say "action figure" or perhaps "inflatable snuggle toy".

Jesus is not an appropriate subject for the makers of girly dolls.
That is the worst part, the Cunuckistanians purpously made him look like a girly doll!!!!!
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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-02-2006, 06:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlton Green View Post
That is the worst part, the Cunuckistanians purpously made him look like a girly doll!!!!!
I think his girlinisess was designed by the not-so-catholic catholics.
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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-02-2006, 06:52 PM

girliness*
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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-02-2006, 06:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
That isn't JESUS. It's your homer boyfriend Brucie. As I pointed out earlier, GODLY President Bush is preparing to invade Canuckistan in the near future. Get your white flag out.
Yeah, Pastor. This LanceLOUT is probably waving it off the balcony RIGHT now, attempting to attract others of his sexural persuation. (And it sounds like he could probably really talk them into something, too!)

Pastor, should I wish him a Merry Christmas anyway?!
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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-08-2006, 09:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
Pastor, should I wish him a Merry Christmas anyway?!
I'm going to take the liberty of answering in Pastor's absence and suggest that you wish that he put the Christ in Christmas, not the John Thomas in Brucie!
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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-08-2006, 11:05 PM

THIS new security system is being installed as I type on the rolling estate where I reside. Thanks for the tip Bobby Joe! And the discount we got from Haliburton (with a little help from Uncle Rumsfeld) didn't hurt either.

I fired the old nigra boy who was staffing the gate for me for the past few years.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-08-2006, 11:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
THIS new security system is being installed as I type on the rolling estate where I reside. Thanks for the tip Bobby Joe! And the discount we got from Haliburton (with a little help from Uncle Rumsfeld) didn't hurt either.

I fired the old nigra boy who was staffing the gate for me for the past few years.
No problem Brother Zeke, in these times of Democratic rule you can't be too careful.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Jesus and guns - 12-09-2006, 03:40 AM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
No problem Brother Zeke, in these times of Democratic rule you can't be too careful.
I want to order them for my property. Four? Six? Heck, you can't have too much of a good thing!


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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