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Jesus How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-22-2015, 05:44 AM

I usually do it myself. If you ever wondered how easy it is to change your oil, there are only a few steps. It's basically the same for every car:



May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-22-2015, 06:47 AM

I have never changed the oil in my car, ever. I just pray to Jesus that he keeps my car running. I tithe the money I save this way to thank Him.


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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-22-2015, 01:34 PM

I never change it. God made everything perfectly and and it is not my place to pick and choose if something He made is not good enough.
I lease a car for three years and turn it in. I get a pickaninny to clean it up (they are good at making a purse out of a sow).


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-22-2015, 02:31 PM

Our vehicles all run on gasoline, not oil. The tanks sometimes need filling, but I have never heard of changing it.


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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-28-2015, 12:24 AM

My messenger boy does this, I think. Or is it the driver? I don't know. All I know is that Jesus is watching over me -- after all, Jesus take the whee!


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-28-2015, 01:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Our vehicles all run on gasoline, not oil. The tanks sometimes need filling, but I have never heard of changing it.
I think it's a Catlick thing giving the last oil. My car is just like yours.

JHL.
JC is our true Lord.


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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-28-2015, 05:27 PM

I change my oil every week just to show to liberals that oil is a gift from Jesus that we are to use as we see fit. The used oil goes straight down the drain in order to show any onlooking liberals that the world isn't going to end. Well it is, but not because of disposing contaminated oil down the drain.


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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-29-2015, 10:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Impala 67 View Post
I think it's a Catlick thing giving the last oil. My car is just like yours.

JHL.
JC is our true Lord.
What nonsense are you speaking of?


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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-30-2015, 01:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
What nonsense are you speaking of?
Sorry. It was the anointing of the sick / the last anointing I was thinking of.
I forgot things don't have the same words when translated.
Since my car is alive and running great it doesn't need the anointing oil.

JHL.
JC is our Lord.


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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-30-2015, 04:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Impala 67 View Post
Sorry. It was the anointing of the sick / the last anointing I was thinking of.
I forgot things don't have the same words when translated.
Since my car is alive and running great it doesn't need the anointing oil.

JHL.
JC is our Lord.
I understand that you are a savage from the icy North and cannot be expected to stay sober, but please refrain from making sexual innuendos with the womenfolk.


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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 06-30-2015, 11:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Our vehicles all run on gasoline, not oil. The tanks sometimes need filling, but I have never heard of changing it.
I hope you don't do this. Mechanic type stuff should be left to men lest you become one of those Rosy Riveting lesbos.


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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 07-01-2015, 05:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freddy Osborne View Post
I hope you don't do this. Mechanic type stuff should be left to men lest you become one of those Rosy Riveting lesbos.
I wouldn't know where to put the stuff - is the gas tank under the hood or in the trunk?


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Gun Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 07-02-2015, 12:20 AM

Here is another reason to avoid European 'performance' cars:
Audi and BMW: burning a quart of oil every 600 to 700 miles? No problem!
Quote:
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/consum...--finance.html

This is on late model cars.

FTA:BMW said oil consumption is normal on all engines, and consumption within specifications doesn't mean there's excessive engine wear. The company said some regular BMW motors can consume up to a quart every 750 miles, and M series performance engines can use up to 2.5 quarts per 1,000 miles under certain conditions

and:

The magazine says that standards for certain Audi and BMW cars say that it's reasonable to burn a quart of oil every 600 to 700 miles. Subaru considers one quart burned for every 1,000 to 1,200 miles to be acceptable,


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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 07-02-2015, 10:08 PM

Jesus gives us the answer to the question by way of a parable:

The Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins

25 “Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their cars and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. 3 Those who were foolish took their cars and took no oil with them, 4 but the wise took oil in cans in their trunks. 5 But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept.
6 “And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming; drive out to meet him!’ 7 Then all those virgins arose and opened the doors of their cars. 8 And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for we have checked our dipsticks and we’re short.’ 9 But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell a good multigrade synthetic oil, and buy for yourselves.’ 10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom drove up, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.
11 “Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’ 12 But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’
13 “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour[b] in which the Son of Man is coming.

Of course, the dipstick represents the level of your faith, and the rest is obvious.

If your dipstick shows a low level, you need to boost your faith. If your oil iis filthy, tarry and black, you're a nigra or a catlick and you need to change that oil (faith.)

As an aside, I once read a book about a man who said he knew someone who had tried to change his own oil - he was horribly crushed. I leave such things to "Boy" my faithful retainer.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 07-04-2015, 05:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Impala 67 View Post
Sorry. It was the anointing of the sick / the last anointing I was thinking of.
I forgot things don't have the same words when translated.
Since my car is alive and running great it doesn't need the anointing oil.

JHL.
JC is our Lord.
What sinful, lewd things are you trying to imply to me, a good, Christian wife and soon-to-be mother? Stay away from me and my child, you satanic retarded unsaved piece of scum! Also, you sound like a cathylik with your "anointing of the sick" rubbage. But then, we all know how the cathylick like their male sodomy, which is downright discusting.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 07-05-2015, 01:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
What sinful, lewd things are you trying to imply to me, a good, Christian wife and soon-to-be mother? Stay away from me and my child, you satanic retarded unsaved piece of scum! Also, you sound like a cathylik with your "anointing of the sick" rubbage. But then, we all know how the cathylick like their male sodomy, which is downright discusting.
Titus 1:15

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Jesus is my Lord.


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 07-05-2015, 01:57 AM

Why are we allowing people who are worried about the expense of changing the oil on their cars into Landover Baptist Church??? I thought we had a minimum income bracket before you could even get within 50 miles of the outer compound of the church grounds????


Revelation 19:15-16 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, King Of Kings, And Lord Of Lords."
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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 07-05-2015, 10:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Impala 67 View Post
Titus 1:15

JHL.
Jesus is my Lord.
What are you implying to me? "Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled." is Titus 1:15. Are you calling me defiled and unbelieving? I can honestly promise you that I wore white on my wedding day with my head held high about that fact. But since you, missy, have a dirty mind, we need to send you to some rehab place where they can pound the Word of God into you, until you are screaming and exclaiming that you repent of your dirty ways and that Jesus is your Savior. I included some links to help you. http://landmarkbiblebaptist.net/Salv...esusSaves.html and http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/ and http://www.ourchurch.com/view/?pageID=160430

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson


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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 07-06-2015, 09:35 PM

I extract oil from my car if my kids get sick.

Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
James 5:14
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Default Re: How often do you REALLY need to change the oil in your car? - 07-07-2015, 02:36 AM

I advise folks to change their oil every time they drive their vehicle, and to remember that if a vehicle isn't driven for several days the oil settles to the bottom and needs to be changed.


Edited to add: I just got a call from a Brother, asking me if I might have some small bias with my advice due to my owning stock in a major oil company. I'll tell you all just what I told him. Ridiculous! I do not own stock in a major oil company. I own stock in 7 major oil companies, so what sense would it possibly make for me to advocate their competing with one another?


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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