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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Fag-Lover Olympic Committee Threatens Christians! -
08-12-2011, 01:27 AM
THIS is outrageous. The queer-enabling Olympic Committee is threatening to sue a group of Godly Christians over NOTHING! The boys just want to have a little good old American fun. What's the harm in that?
Quote:
Redneck Olympics Threatened by Real Olympics For Using Word ‘Olympics’
For those of you who haven’t yet heard about the glorious American sporting event “The Redneck Olympics” here’s a quick rundown.
About 2,600 sunburned, beer-bellied New Englanders gather each summer in Hebron, Maine and compete in various hillbilly competitions such as wife-carrying, beer-swilling, bobbing for pigs’ feet, toilet-seat horseshoes, lawn mower races, mud running and pie-eating.
These festivities and the Summer Redneck Games (which are essentially the same thing, but in Georgia) are small, hilarious, slightly-less-than-wholesome celebrations of white trash culture.
While I’m not usually bursting with pride over this particular sect of American culture, a recent conflict between rednecks and the real Olympics, the behemoth of world class athleticism, has me taking their side.
According to Daily Mail, the U.S. Olympic Committee is aware of the Redneck Olympics and this week threatened to sue the organizers if they don’t stop using the word “Olympics.”
Maine Redneck organizer Harold Brooks remarked to the Sun Journal, “I said, ‘I’m not basing it on your Olympics; I’m basing it on the Olympics in Greece.’”
He continued, “I understand we can’t use the word ‘Pepsi,’ but we can use the word ‘soda.’ The Olympics has been around for thousands of years.”
Apparently the Olympic Committee is afraid that by allowing rednecks to use the “O” word they’ll be diluting the brand and thus robbing their athletes of the status they deserve for their life’s work.
The redneck Olympics attract 2,600 people, while the Olympics Olympics attract up to 4.7 billion viewers worldwide. The latter calls upon world-class athletes to perform feats of strength, agility and grace, while the former calls upon world-class assholes to do belly-flops in mud puddles.
The Redneck Olympics have as much in common with the real Olympics as Facebook has with real books. (As a side note, it’s pretty ridiculous that Facebook is currently trying to copyright the word “book.”)
The Redneck Olympics aren’t a threat to anyone other than the animals on local pig farms and the rednecks themselves, who wear confederate flag bikinis in the blazing heat while refusing to use sunscreen.
If the Olympics can celebrate ancient Greek culture, why can’t the Redneck Olympics celebrate modern American culture?
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Fag-Lover Olympic Committee Threatens Christians! -
08-12-2011, 02:01 AM
The Olympics is a secular, liberal conspiracy designed to promote body shaving and promoting the sale of unnatural lubricants. The only reason they are suing the Redneck Olympics is because of the proud redneck tradition of having and displaying profuse amounts of BODY HAIR.
Body hair is a God-given redneck privilege. People who shave their bodies are appealing to PEDOPHILE CULTURE and Catholic domination. Everyone knows this sort of thing leads inexorably to ANAL SEX.
In nature, anal sex is relatively harmless. Occasionally a male dog will mistake another male dog for a female and, in his resultant confusion, will insert his sloppy dog-penis into the other male's rectum. This leads to the spilling of dog-seed, which slaughters millions of potential canines. No big deal.
But when men institutionalize anal sex, such as in the case of the Catholic Church, Greco-Roman Paganism, Inuit Ice-Dildo religions and other sorts of ithyphallic idol sex, African Poop Worship, etc. etc. etc... things spiral out of control, and before long people die from having their poop pushed too far in. This angers God, and He begins to plague the general population with AIDS, the homo-virus. Then fags in their Godless rage spread AIDS to little boys through rape and casual contact with doorknobs. The whole world turns upside down, when men have anal sex.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Fag-Lover Olympic Committee Threatens Christians! -
08-12-2011, 06:13 AM
Bravo Brother Jenkins, Redneck Americans are entitled to a little fair use license to satirize the inventors of homerism – the priapus worshiping Greek sodomites. The "Olympic" Committee needs to get a life and get with Jesus.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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