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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Prayer Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 04:23 PM

Roger Stringpiece to be precise.

My favourite verse from the Bible is as follows:


[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV. No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]
[/COLOR]
[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]I found Jesus only recently after engaging in various acts of sodomy and have since seen the error of my ways. I have repented. I hope I will be accepted in to your buxom[/COLOR].


Rog.
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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 04:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Stringpiece View Post
Roger Stringpiece to be precise.

My favourite verse from the Bible is as follows:


[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV. No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]
[/COLOR]
[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]I found Jesus only recently after engaging in various acts of sodomy and have since seen the error of my ways. I have repented. I hope I will be accepted in to your buxom[/COLOR].


Rog.

Clearly, demons infested your rectum during your many acts of sodomy and are now finding their way into your posts.


Deal with that.


Also, stick with the King James Version of the Bible for your quotes, and "buxom" is an adjective, not a noun, you boob.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 04:31 PM

Hello and a cautious to our Godly forum, dear!


As Sister Handmaiden has noted, you do seem to have rectal demons on your computer. I pray that it can be solved.
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Jesus Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 04:51 PM

Such a wonderful verse, Mr. Roger, but why not use a Real Bible instead of some kind of esoteric ESP

Deuteronomy 23:1
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD
.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Jesus Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 07:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Stringpiece View Post
Roger Stringpiece to be precise.

My favourite verse from the Bible is as follows:

[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV. No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]

[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)][/COLOR]I found Jesus only recently after engaging in various acts of sodomy and have since seen the error of my ways. I have repented. I hope I will be accepted in to your buxom[/COLOR].

Rog.
Dear Miss Rog: To you, I extend a warm and hospitable We are always so pleased when eager persons make their way to our blessed corner of the interwebs galaxy, for this is a sure sign that they are seeking to learn how to avoid the eternal, raging fires of , which is so surely deserved. And, I must say, that there is no better place from where one can learn to live a life that is pleasing to Almighty than by being at .

Now, then, perhaps you could try improving your message of introduction for us. I mean, it does seem rather "dog's breakfast-ish", if you will catch my drift. What on Earth is all of that "code" that you have used in an attempt to clutter up ? And, surely, you can find other verses from the glorious that will be more suitable as a personal favorite? Please also remember to tell us what church you attend! May bless you as you forsake your life of disgusting sin and devilish debauchery.


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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 07:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Now, then, perhaps you could try improving your message of introduction for us. I mean, it does seem rather "dog's breakfast-ish", if you will catch my drift. What on Earth is all of that "code" that you have used ...
It looks to me like something cut and pasted from one of those "incel" forums, which is borne out by the surname. "Stringpiece" reminds me very much of the age-old question, How long is a piece of string? As we all know, when one is in need of string any available pieces are invariably too short for purpose.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 09:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Dear Miss Rog: To you, I extend a warm and hospitable We are always so pleased when eager persons make their way to our blessed corner of the interwebs galaxy, for this is a sure sign that they are seeking to learn how to avoid the eternal, raging fires of , which is so surely deserved. And, I must say, that there is no better place from where one can learn to live a life that is pleasing to Almighty than by being at .

Now, then, perhaps you could try improving your message of introduction for us. I mean, it does seem rather "dog's breakfast-ish", if you will catch my drift. What on Earth is all of that "code" that you have used in an attempt to clutter up ? And, surely, you can find other verses from the glorious that will be more suitable as a personal favorite? Please also remember to tell us what church you attend! May bless you as you forsake your life of disgusting sin and devilish debauchery.
I must apologise. I am a member at Beaver Lick Christian Church. I am ready to broaden my horizons, hence why I have joined god's favourite forum.


Yours in Christ,


Rog.
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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 10:02 PM

Homerism is the number one sin. It's really hard to repent and be part of Jesus' beautiful like in heaven.

While you are working on repentance for homerism, perhaps this also would be a good time to own up to other sin. God already knows about them but we would like to know as well. Please proceed.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 10:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Stringpiece View Post
Roger Stringpiece to be precise.

My favourite verse from the Bible is as follows:


[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV. No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]
[/COLOR]
[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.87)]I found Jesus only recently after engaging in various acts of sodomy and have since seen the error of my ways. I have repented. I hope I will be accepted in to your buxom[/COLOR].


Rog.


If you were seeking acceptance into my buxom, I might understand what you mean, even though that still is inappropriate. As a church, there is no buxom, not even a bosom - this is a community of worship, not one entity. If you meant the bosom of our Lord Jesus Christ, He may give you reluctant acceptance into His fleshy bosom in time, but you will have to do better than that. Your failed attempt at code is not unnoticed here; surely you read the contents of your message before you submitted a reply?




Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 10:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Stringpiece View Post
I must apologise. I am a member at Beaver Lick Christian Church. I am ready to broaden my horizons, hence why I have joined god's favourite forum.
That's nice. You can start broadening your horizons by capitalizing "God."

I do look forward to reading more of your posts!
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Bible Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-03-2020, 10:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Stringpiece View Post
I must apologise. I am a member at Beaver Lick Christian Church. I am ready to broaden my horizons, hence why I have joined god's favourite forum.

Yours in Christ,

Rog.
Oh, I do thank you so kindly, dear Miss Rog, for the correction that you have provided, so nicely, for us. I am sure that I must have come across as being a fussy, old lady, but it's just my way, Dear. It's not that I'm being unnecessarily particular, but we do have our standards here at . And, one thing that I simply must insist is that you remember to capitalize the first letter of the word when referring to Almighty, and to glorious Son and , the . It may come as a surprise to you, but when the books of the blessed were being reviewed, the writers washed their quill pens each time they made a reference to , as a sign of respect to .

Now, then, as for your Baptist Church, I'm afraid that I am not familiar with Beaver Lick Baptist Church; no, not at all. I've been to services at Beaver Dam Baptist church, many years ago, and there was a Beaver Creek Church in the village not far from where my parents lived, but I've never heard of your church. Would you mind telling us a bit more about this house of worship? Do they study the , or do they follow one of those watered-down versions? Have you been in attendance there for long? And might I ask how you came to find us here?

We so look forward to having fellowship with you, Miss Rog. Feel free to browse around our many forums of interest, here at .


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Prayer Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-05-2020, 12:37 AM

Welcome Bob! Can I call you Bob? Super!
I'd simply love to hear about your stroll along the the ocean of life with Jesus at your side, the pure white sands under your feet and the moonlight glistening, the waves crashing in a glorious crescendo.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-05-2020, 08:38 PM

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. God's favourite forum this most definitely is.

My ultimate aim is to work my way up through the church and eventually become a Saint.


St. Stringpiece.


Rog.
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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-05-2020, 09:30 PM

Mr Stringbean. You look a lot like the former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau. Do you remember him? Judging by your use of the UK English spelling of favorite as "favourite", there's a chance you must be a Canadian then?




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Jesus Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-05-2020, 11:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Stringpiece View Post
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. God's favourite forum this most definitely is.

My ultimate aim is to work my way up through the church and eventually become a Saint.

St. Stringpiece.

Rog.
Dear Mr. Rog: Whilst it is encouraging to note that you are pleased that you have found your way to , I must inform you that we do not have any of that "saint" activity here at . And, that is because we are not a bound Cathyolick "church". If you are looking for that type of activity and hierarchy, you will not find it here. Oh, that's not to say that some of us don't think of certain members (and, most definitely, our pastor) as being saintly. Goodness, how ever on Earth could we not think so, when we are blessed to have such a strong group of dedicated, devoted servants of the and , , in our midst? However, as for the type of sainthood that you are looking for, you shan't find it here, so there is no sense in wasting your time looking for it.

I so hope that you will not mind my asking, but how are you finding your daily devotional time to be, Dear? Are you making sure that you are devoting plenty of time to studying, carefully, the glorious ? Should you have any questions about the blessed Scriptures, please feel free to ask. You won't find a better preacher anywhere than our beloved . I'm sure that he, and many of of our other senior menfolk, would be only too happy to help you, as you walk with the in service, on a daily basis here, at .


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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-06-2020, 03:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DominiqueDomgaard View Post
Mr Stringbean. You look a lot like the former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau. Do you remember him? Judging by your use of the UK English spelling of favorite as "favourite", there's a chance you must be a Canadian then?
I believe he is more of a man about the house. Perhaps he is English?


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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Rebuke Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-06-2020, 03:40 PM

First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. We're right and you're wrong, according to Jesus and the Holy Word of God. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed
HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here
uninvited, and unwelcome .

If you want to debate people,
THIS is the place to go.

Please make a thread of your own in the "
Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at
THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to
hellfire.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-06-2020, 06:02 PM

I'm taking all of your advice on board.

Just before I continue, is it frowned upon to listen to an audio version of the king James Bible?


Yours in Christ,


Rog.
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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-06-2020, 06:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Stringpiece View Post
I'm taking all of your advice on board.

Just before I continue, is it frowned upon to listen to an audio version of the king James Bible?


Yours in Christ,


Rog.
Uh! Based on your ability to communicate here on our forum using the written word, one can only assume that you are able to read. (The grade level of your reading ability may be open for debate.)

Because you can read, therefore, you should read the Bible if you wish to participate in our discussions.

That is practically the only thing that we ask of people wishing to engage fully in our examination of the World's Most Important Book. Unfortunately, time after time after time, the Biblically illiterate swarm our lovely forum throwing their prose form of feces about in a distasteful attempt to communicate their pointless opinions about God, Jesus, Christianity and the Bible.

Don't be one of those individuals. Nobody cares about your opinion. Just tell us what you find when you read the Bible. You will probably assess the information incorrectly.

But, happily for you, we have read the whole Bible and will show you where you are wrong by citing another part of the Bible that you have chosen to ignore.


This, in essence, is the service that we provide here at otherwise known as the online portal to .


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Default Re: Hi, the name is Roger! - 07-06-2020, 09:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Stringpiece View Post
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. God's favourite forum this most definitely is.

My ultimate aim is to work my way up through the church and eventually become a Saint.

St. Stringpiece.

Rog.
Hi Rog,

I hope on your journey you find time to research the Baptist saints. (Hint: there aren't any). Why would anyone need any other authority than the perfect and complete word of God contained in the Bible? What you might find is blasphemous lists of names that include Negros and women, some of who are enjoying eternal torment as we speak - and in fact forever.

Nice chat.

Dr. Toole


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