Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Fisher of Men
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,835
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
08-03-2012, 04:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinaSantafe
Ok, next question! If homers like being anally raped, why would it be punishment or torture for Satan to spend eternity doing that to them? It sounds like it would be a reward for homers.
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The anal rape endured by homers in hell takes on an entirely different and horrific dimension since demons have hooked barbs on their tallywhackers. Plus, the end of their tallywhackers has a toothy mouth that chews the homers up from the insides, only for them to spontaneously regenerate to endure this over and over again, for all eternity.
Does a rectal pounding from this look like a reward to you?
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 92
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: on my knees for a ten inch tallywhacker
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
08-03-2012, 07:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedediah
The anal rape endured by homers in hell takes on an entirely different and horrific dimension since demons have hooked barbs on their tallywhackers. Plus, the end of their tallywhackers has a toothy mouth that chews the homers up from the insides, only for them to spontaneously regenerate to endure this over and over again, for all eternity.
Does a rectal pounding from this look like a reward to you?
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Huh? What is a "tallywhacker?" OMG, are y'all so uptight and repressed that you can't even say 'penis' or 'cock' or 'dick' or 'one eyed snake' or even 'third leg?' That's funny.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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08-03-2012, 07:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinaSantafe
*** erotica deleted***.
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Please watch the potty mouth, Tina.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
08-03-2012, 08:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinaSatan'sCumbucket
Huh? What is a "tallywhacker?" OMG, are y'all so uptight and repressed that you can't even say 'penis' or 'cock' or 'dick' or 'one eyed snake' or even 'third leg?' That's funny.
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Sometimes, members' children read over their shoulders here, TinaSatan'sCumbucket. So we try not to use inappropriate language.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved Trash, degenerate queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Godless Scotland
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 04:52 AM
I'm gay and can confirm all gay people, in every country in the
world, want to ruin society as a whole. You know the
recent hurricanes threatening the US? That was us. We all came
together and ran around in a circle. And the earthquakes?
We collectively agreed to jump up and down at various
points of the landscape.
We won't settle until assless chaps are appropriate attire,
until all media platforms show a constant stream of phallic
symbols, and until Gaga is the national anthem of everything.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 04:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklen Mann
I'm gay and can confirm all gay people, in every country in the
world, want to ruin society as a whole. You know the
recent hurricanes threatening the US? That was us. We all came
together and ran around in a circle. And the earthquakes?
We collectively agreed to jump up and down at various
points of the landscape.
We won't settle until assless chaps are appropriate attire,
until all media platforms show a constant stream of phallic
symbols, and until Gaga is the national anthem of everything.
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Wow. An honest queer.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved Trash, degenerate queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Godless Scotland
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 08:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Wow. An honest queer.
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You thought I was being serious?
I don't think that is the actual homosexual agenda anyway,
I'm truly at a loss for words if you think that homosexuals are actually doing that.
My apologies for forgetting to add the sarcasm smiley at the end.
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 08:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklen Mann
You thought I was being serious?
I don't think that is the actual homosexual agenda anyway,
I'm truly at a loss for words if you think that homosexuals are actually doing that.
My apologies for forgetting to add the sarcasm smiley at the end.
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So what DO you mean? Let me guess, you want to convince us that God doesn't really want queers to be killed on the spot with no penalty for the killer.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 08:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklen Mann
You thought I was being serious?
I don't think that is the actual homosexual agenda anyway,
I'm truly at a loss for words if you think that homosexuals are actually doing that.
My apologies for forgetting to add the sarcasm smiley at the end.
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Wow, the joke's on you. These things are well established.
The future of America's global homo promo
Unstoppable, if Obama is re-elected, says leader of pro-family organization
Quote:
“President Obama has pushed the radical homosexual agenda down through all of his agencies,” said Staver, who also serves as vice president, dean and professor of law at Liberty University School of Law. “He has appointed particular people who make sure that every agency promotes the LGBT agenda. This action is a direct result of President Obama’s radical anti-family, pro-homosexual agenda.”
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Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved Trash, degenerate queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Godless Scotland
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 08:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist
So what DO you mean? Let me guess, you want to convince us that God doesn't really want queers to be killed on the spot with no penalty for the killer.
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And on to the next argument, one of the ten commandments is
THOU SHALL NOT KILL
how thick in the skull do you have to be to not remember the ten
biggest rules that god told us to follow? (or seventeen if you count all of
Exodus 20:1 - 20:17)
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 09:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklen Mann
And on to the next argument, one of the ten commandments is
THOU SHALL NOT KILL
how thick in the skull do you have to be to not remember the ten
biggest rules that god told us to follow? (or seventeen if you count all of
Exodus 20:1 - 20:17)
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Are you trying to imply that God was mistaken every time He directly orders us to kill in His glorious name?
Numbers 15:32-36
15:36 And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. 15:33 And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation. 15:34 And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him. 15:35 And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp. 15:36 And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.
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Unsaved Trash, degenerate queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Godless Scotland
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 09:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist
Are you trying to imply that God was mistaken every time He directly orders us to kill in His glorious name?
Numbers 15:32-36
15:36 And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. 15:33 And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation. 15:34 And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him. 15:35 And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp. 15:36 And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.
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And thus my point has been missed once again.
An unfortunate fact remains that the bible started as the will of god, but was modified heavily after it's creation for political power,
to the point that the original bible, whatever it may have contained, is lost for the rest of human existence.
However, I still go by the ten (or seventeen) commandments because these are generally good rules to go by, and don't seem to allude to any edits for the explicit purpose of political power.
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 09:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklen Mann
And thus my point has been missed once again.
An unfortunate fact remains that the bible started as the will of god, but was modified heavily after it's creation for political power,
to the point that the original bible, whatever it may have contained, is lost for the rest of human existence.
However, I still go by the ten (or seventeen) commandments because these are generally good rules to go by, and don't seem to allude to any edits for the explicit purpose of political power.
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Where's your evidence that God is so ineffective He can't manage the content of His written word in the King James Bible (other bibles are false warpings of His word)?
So you just cherry pick the bits that make you feel good. Pro tip: avoid all of Romans 1. Seriously. It deals with perverts like you.
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Recovering Bastard Head of Landover Glee Club
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,363
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Opening doors for little old ladies, helping the blind to see.
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 09:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklen Mann
And thus my point has been missed once again.
An unfortunate fact remains that the bible started as the will of god, but was modified heavily after it's creation for political power,
to the point that the original bible, whatever it may have contained, is lost for the rest of human existence.
However, I still go by the ten (or seventeen) commandments because these are generally good rules to go by, and don't seem to allude to any edits for the explicit purpose of political power.
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So are you saying that GOD isn't mighty enough to see to it that His Holy Word is preserved to His liking?
He is all powerful, friend. The Bible is EXACTLY how He wants it.
The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 09:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklen Mann
I'm gay and can confirm all gay people, in every country in the
world, want to ruin society as a whole. You know the
recent hurricanes threatening the US? That was us. We all came
together and ran around in a circle. And the earthquakes?
We collectively agreed to jump up and down at various
points of the landscape.
We won't settle until assless chaps are appropriate attire,
until all media platforms show a constant stream of phallic
symbols, and until Gaga is the national anthem of everything.
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I gosh darned knew it.
I knew your queers were up to no good.
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 09:45 PM
It seems I am mistaken.
Yet another Godmocker who has nothing better to do than come to God's friendliest website and spew her hatred.
I thought you atheisticals didn't believe in God: you seem to talking an awful lot about Him.
Is there something you are not telling us?
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 10:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklen Mann
And thus my point has been missed once again...
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My research into the subject tells me that the word used in ancient Hebrew would translate closer to "murder" or "kill unjustly" than "kill" (no, I am unable to read ancient Hebrew myself).
Quote:
...An unfortunate fact remains that the bible started as the will of god,...
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What proof do you have of this?
Quote:
... but was modified heavily after it's creation for political power,...
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Or this?
Quote:
...However, I still go by the ten (or seventeen) commandments because these are generally good rules to go by,...
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Does that include the fourth commandment? How do you decide whether the Jews, who observe the Sabbath from Friday dusk to Saturday dusk, or Christians, who observe it on Sunday, are right?
Quote:
...and don't seem to allude to any edits for the explicit purpose of political power.
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As political power has changed hands more than a couple of times since Moses received the tablets on Sinai, wouldn't the Bible have been re-written each time to match? Why do the Scriptures we read still match the earliest copies we have?
If you really are a Christian, you have to believe that God is omniscient (sees everything) and omnipotent (can do anything). If the Bible does not match God's Will exactly, that means that either:
1) God doesn't want His Will to be known to mankind, which means that He does not want us to be saved, and is thus unworthy of worship.
2) God doesn't know that His word has been corrupted, which means He is not omniscient, and thus is unworthy of worship.
3 ) God is unable to preserve His word, which means He is not omnipotent, and thus is unworthy of worship.
4) God does not exist.
Which of these possibilities do you think is true?
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Unsaved Trash, degenerate queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Godless Scotland
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 10:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
My research into the subject tells me that the word used in ancient Hebrew would translate closer to "murder" or "kill unjustly" than "kill" (no, I am unable to read ancient Hebrew myself).
What proof do you have of this?
Or this?
Does that include the fourth commandment? How do you decide whether the Jews, who observe the Sabbath from Friday dusk to Saturday dusk, or Christians, who observe it on Sunday, are right?
As political power has changed hands more than a couple of times since Moses received the tablets on Sinai, wouldn't the Bible have been re-written each time to match? Why do the Scriptures we read still match the earliest copies we have?
If you really are a Christian, you have to believe that God is omniscient (sees everything) and omnipotent (can do anything). If the Bible does not match God's Will exactly, that means that either:
1) God doesn't want His Will to be known to mankind, which means that He does not want us to be saved, and is thus unworthy of worship.
2) God doesn't know that His word has been corrupted, which means He is not omniscient, and thus is unworthy of worship.
3) God is unable to preserve His word, which means He is not omnipotent, and thus is unworthy of worship.
4) God does not exist.
Which of these possibilities do you think is true?
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<br />
None of them, it is my personal belief that god created the bible and let man do as they will as a sort of "test."<br />
From my point of view life itself is a test, I simply believe that letting man do this is yet another one of these tests. <br />
And the reason that our earliest copies match todays is that people in political and religious power (as displayed throughout all of human history) love to torch, or burn all records of, anything that contradicts what they have to say or what they want to happen. <br />
Now, I would go deaper into the toppic, after all I have put years of study into this whole thing, but arguing with biblical literalists gets boring after a while and I don't like being bored. So I will continue this entertainingly heated debate after I am done wallowing in my boredom.
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Unsaved Trash, degenerate queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Godless Scotland
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 10:26 PM
OOOOh I just found this out and this is GOLD.
You guys actually thought I was telling the truth when I said I was a homosexual. I was being sarcastic to make a point, I was mocking the fact that you guys think homosexuals are out to ruin society, if they where I'm sure they'd try to hit somewhere that would actually damage society, and not just do things regarding their social lives.
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Unsaved Trash, degenerate queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Godless Scotland
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Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! -
09-23-2012, 10:48 PM
Also, one last post before I dismiss myself.
May I kindly request that I be banned from this website?
I believe I have stated all that I need to state, and little more will ever be necessary.
Besides, I probably should be banned anyway, I generally discuss extremely controversial things and I question most things I hear. I in turn have a very debate centered personality.
That being said, as an apology for my misunderstanding, as well as due to my own person disgust I will kindly request a ban from a moderator on this forum.
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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