The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Jan 2015
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Introducing myself under false pretenses TROLL=FAIL -
01-02-2015, 06:56 PM
Hello! My name is John, I am a devoted Christian and I saw these forums while browsing the internet for fellow Christians. I am happily married to my wife, Mary. We have 3 children, 2 sons and a daughter. I follow every word in the Bible and i'm shocked that there are people who do not. I look foward to worshipping Jesus with you all!
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: The Church
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 06:57 PM
Hello John! My name is Light, and I too am shocked that there are people who do not worship Jesus. May God be with you!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 06:58 PM
Welcome to the forums, friend! Tell us, what do you do to further the Great Commission to baptize all people over all the earth? What form of conversion tactic do you find most successful?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, pathetic jap wannabe
Under Investigation
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Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: worshiping slope comics
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 06:59 PM
Hello there, John! I hope you have a nice time here! I'm new as well, and I'm happy to see so many people with the same beliefs I have.
This space for KJV Bible use ONLY.
-Admin
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 06:59 PM
So many anime avitars in one place.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Jan 2015
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:01 PM
Thank you, KiraChristian. But I am concerned. Why is your icon from "anime"? That is a sin!
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Unsaved trash, avowed degenerate
Under Investigation
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Posts: 9
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: munching rugs for satan
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:03 PM
hello landoverbaptist forum user
gonna blow everyones minds right here right now:
im gay and im a woman but im a CHRISTIAN
and my CHRISTIAN friends and relatives are totally ok with that
MIND BLOWING, RIGHT?????
ahahahaa
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: The Church
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:03 PM
Oh no, fellow worshipper John! I was unaware of this. I shall change my icon at once, thank you for alerting me of my error.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by littlechristianjohn
Hello! My name is John, I am a devoted Christian and I saw these forums while browsing the internet for fellow Christians. I am happily married to my wife, Mary. We have 3 children, 2 sons and a daughter. I follow every word in the Bible and i'm shocked that there are people who do not. I look foward to worshipping Jesus with you all!
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Hello, John! I'm Elmer. You've gort decent things in your life including a passable ratio of children vs. the one female offspring. You must have done something righteous in the eyes of Jesus to be blessed like that!
What is you church? I go to LBC.
You mentioned no favorite verse - it's a hard choice, I know! Here's a nice suggestion. What do you think? It might be quite well in concert with your musings above?
Psalms 104:35
Let the sinners be consumed out of the earth, and let the wicked be no more. Bless thou the LORD, O my soul. Praise ye the LORD.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by InChristAlone
hello landoverbaptist forum user
gonna blow everyones minds right here right now:
im gay and im a woman but im a CHRISTIAN
and my CHRISTIAN friends and relatives are totally ok with that
MIND BLOWING, RIGHT?????
ahahahaa
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You're aren't Christian if you're a rug muncher, DUH!
Nope, you're an abomination in God's eyes, and that's right there in the Bible.
Yours in Christ (NOT ELLEN DEGENERATE),
Z. Smyth
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Jan 2015
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:08 PM
Thank you, Mary Etheldreda! I try to spread the word of Jesus to show others the light, and I find any tactic successful!
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Unsaved trash, avowed degenerate
Under Investigation
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Posts: 9
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: munching rugs for satan
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:08 PM
oh my dear zechariah. do you not know that god accepts all? god wishes for us to all be kind and loving to all your brothers and sisters, no matter their sexuality.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by littlechristianjohn
Thank you, Mary Etheldreda! I try to spread the word of Jesus to show others the light, and I find any tactic successful!
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That sounds lovely! Care to share any details? We like to share such things here. We know that by working together, we can bring Glory to God in greater measure!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, pathetic jap wannabe
Under Investigation
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Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: worshiping slope comics
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KiraChristian
Oh no, fellow worshipper John! I was unaware of this. I shall change my icon at once, thank you for alerting me of my error.
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As am I! I hope you accept this apology, John, and I hope we become friends.
This space for KJV Bible use ONLY.
-Admin
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by InChristAlone
oh my dear zechariah. do you not know that god accepts all? god wishes for us to all be kind and loving to all your brothers and sisters, no matter their sexuality.
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Dear boy,
What is this minor idol god? Not my God! He is wonderful and magnificent and crushes His enemies like dirt under a military tank! Dear sinner, this means YOU!
Deuteronomy 7:10
And repayeth them that hate him to their face, to destroy them: he will not be slack to him that hateth him, he will repay him to his face.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by InChristAlone
oh my dear zechariah. do you not know that god accepts all? god wishes for us to all be kind and loving to all your brothers and sisters, no matter their sexuality.
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If God accepts all, why did He make Hell for the vast majority of people? If He's OK with your perversity, why did He specifically prohibit those actions in the Bible?
Good grief, lesbians are retarded.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Jan 2015
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:15 PM
Hello Elmer! I love all verses in the Bible, and I go to the CRC!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sadaomaou
As am I! I hope you accept this apology, John, and I hope we become friends.
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sadaomaou? Is that how you pronounce 'sodomite' in Engrish?
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Unsaved trash, avowed degenerate
Under Investigation
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Posts: 9
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: munching rugs for satan
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:19 PM
what bible are you reading that turned you into such racist, sexist and homophobic people? that is no bible i've seen in any church and its one i do not plan to.
i pray that you will one day see the error of your ways and realise that jesus aimed for peace and love throughout the world.
and zech, where did you get this info that god created hell? have you forgotten the scriptures all together? satan made hell when he was banished by god! it shames me to see you use such harmful and ableist language. i hope one day god shall smile upon you.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Introducing myself -
01-02-2015, 07:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by littlechristianjohn
Hello Elmer! I love all verses in the Bible, and I go to the CRC!
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CRC? Christian Reformed Church?
Your soul is in great peril. CRC practises infant baptism and - this is worse:
Quote:
All congregations in the Christian Reformed Church in North America may allow women to serve in the office of minister, elder, deacon, or commissioned pastor. The CRC recognizes that there are two different perspectives and convictions on this issue, both of which honor the Scriptures as the infallible Word of God...
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And...
Quote:
Synod 2003 declared that a married couple's decision whether or not to use birth control is a private, disputable matter.
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The FIRST CHAPTER of the real Bible condemns this:
Genesis 1:28
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Praise Jesus for guiding you to this part of the Interwebs! Now there is HOPE for you. Leave the heathen CRC and let Jesus in!
Glory to God!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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