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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 06-21-2008, 04:13 AM

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Originally Posted by TheHolyOne View Post
You people are so damn ignorant to the point where its actually quite funny.... I don't understand how you people can have so much hatred toward homosexuals...They are human beings like us. They share our morals and our ethics, they are equal to us in every way. People are born homosexuals, they didn't CHOSE to become a homosexual.
So What? Some people are born Asian, but through therapy and surgery they can change.
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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 06-21-2008, 05:42 AM

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Originally Posted by Roberta View Post
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Please note that God spelled neighbor with a "u". He must have been thinking about the heathen brits.

A pilot scheme introducing books dealing with gay issues to children from the ages of four to 11 has just been launched in England's schools.
It is being argued that the books, one of which is a fairytale featuring a prince who turns down three princesses before falling in love and marrying a man, are necessary to make homosexuality seem normal to children.
Normal to be a faiwee--what could they possibly be smoking?

Ok. Seeing part of my name I just had to see what all the fuss is about.
And boy there is something to fuss about. It seems these homers take ass lightly. Samson, Balaam, Jesus. All of these biblical figures were involved with an ass. HOWEVER, in each instance it was for Godly purposes. Samson slew the filthy pagans. Balaam....well let's examine how a homer might twist scripture to justify anal sex.


NUM 22
  1. [23] And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.
  2. [25] And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she thrust herself unto the wall, and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall: and he smote her again.
  3. [27] And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff.
  4. [28] And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?
  5. [29] And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.
  6. [30] And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? And he said, Nay.
  7. [31] Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.
I can see some queer misunderstanding this scripture thinking Balaam tallywacked this beast. Well the homers are DEAD wrong. Balaam was just lucky God spared him from a good ol' ass-whoopin. That angry ass could have stomped ol' Balaam into the dirt. If Balaam would have approached that angry beast from the rear, he would have been center-punched in the crotch with two hooves.

Next possible misunderstanding:


Matt. 21

[2] Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me.
  1. [5] Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass.
  2. [7] And brought the ass, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set him thereon.
Most homers would like to think our Saviour was "riding an ass" but again they are DEAD WRONG. The asses had clothes and Jesus was sitting on them.


Queers are not born that way. Just READ AND READ AGAIN ROMANS 1. Then you'll know everything you need to know about faggots.


Judges 15:16
And Samson said, With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men.
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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 06-21-2008, 01:01 PM

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Originally Posted by The Bluejay View Post
What about Alan Turing? No-one could call him dum.
Actually, Turing is well known for having been a tard.


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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 06-22-2008, 05:01 PM

Brothers, I think that Pastor Zeke is right: the sissy state of Oregon will most likely follow California into the pit of damnation.

Satan is a-stirring on the West Coast! For in these final days men desire that which is an ABOMINATION.

The universe is clear and simple: what is God's truth is TRUTH, and everything else is falsity. God's Word says that homosexuality is an ABOMINATION. Everything to the contrary must therefore be false.

That is the Christian position. Men can hold no other opinion unless they wish to reject God and cast their lot with Satan and eternal damnation. It's just that simple!

California has chosen, as a state, to reject God. Oregon will soon follow, unless I miss my guess. Rejection of God is the ultimate act of self-destruction. Like the self-destructive homosexual who abuses his God-given organs, California has abused the organs of the state. California is DAMNED!

California is DAMNED to HELL!

What greater catastrophe could befall the men who handed down this prurient ruling? None. There is no greater horror known. Their punishment -- eternal TORMENT! -- is guaranteed by the merciful hand of the loving God.

Amen.

~~ OEJ
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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 06-22-2008, 09:14 PM

As C. H Spurgeon said, “The fair maid of truth does not paint her cheeks and tire her head, like Jezebel, following every new philosophic fashion; she is content with her own native beauty, and in her aspect she is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”



And so it is with Le:20:13: If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 06-23-2008, 05:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by One-eyed Jack View Post
Brothers, I think that Pastor Zeke is right: the sissy state of Oregon will most likely follow California into the pit of damnation.

Satan is a-stirring on the West Coast! For in these final days men desire that which is an ABOMINATION.

The universe is clear and simple: what is God's truth is TRUTH, and everything else is falsity. God's Word says that homosexuality is an ABOMINATION. Everything to the contrary must therefore be false.

That is the Christian position. Men can hold no other opinion unless they wish to reject God and cast their lot with Satan and eternal damnation. It's just that simple!

California has chosen, as a state, to reject God. Oregon will soon follow, unless I miss my guess. Rejection of God is the ultimate act of self-destruction. Like the self-destructive homosexual who abuses his God-given organs, California has abused the organs of the state. California is DAMNED!

California is DAMNED to HELL!

What greater catastrophe could befall the men who handed down this prurient ruling? None. There is no greater horror known. Their punishment -- eternal TORMENT! -- is guaranteed by the merciful hand of the loving God.

Amen.

~~ OEJ
How right you are Brother! And I've been thinking about this issue for some time now. The Holy Spirit has given me an excellent idea.

You and I know that it's just a matter of time before the radical queer agenda becomes the law of the land all along the West Coast. Once that happens, how long do you think it will be before these same radical queers become violent terrorists who demand a "gay homo-land" like the sand nigras do? Well I say we give it to them!

My plan is to dig a trench 1 mile across and 1 mile deep all along the I-5 corridor, from Messyco to Cannuckistan. We can round up all the queers, lezbeans, cross dressers, pedophiles and whatnot from the entire country and stick them over there along with their "supporters" (fag hags, bisexurals, etc). We extract what few normal God-fearing True Christian™ Americans remaining in the Western States and bring them over to safety, and finally we fill the trench with oil and set it alight!

THEN and only then will we be free to launch our new Bible-based country, Jesusland. Glory!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 06-23-2008, 01:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
My plan is to dig a trench 1 mile across and 1 mile deep all along the I-5 corridor, from Messyco to Cannuckistan. We can round up all the queers, lezbeans, cross dressers, pedophiles and whatnot from the entire country and stick them over there along with their "supporters" (fag hags, bisexurals, etc). We extract what few normal God-fearing True Christian™ Americans remaining in the Western States and bring them over to safety, and finally we fill the trench with oil and set it alight!

THEN and only then will we be free to launch our new Bible-based country, Jesusland. Glory!!
Shout glory! While reading your inspired post, I received a rhema word to the following effect. People used to say that homers and homeresses should all be gathered and moved to an island somewhere. To some extent, that's happened, and the island in question is called Manhattan. So let's fill in the Holland and Lincoln Tunnels and dynamite the George Washington Bridge, so that Jesusland will be safe from that JYC "culture."


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 06-27-2008, 03:37 PM

Amen Pastors Ezekiel and Peters...

The only thing I might add is that perhaps we could burn the fags with ethanol instead of raghead petroleum products. Might save LBC some money AND support the Godly American farmers as well...


Isaiah 36.12 - But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?
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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 07-21-2014, 06:46 AM

Well if hell is real, I hope to see you all there
I am sure we'll have a grand ol' time
I'll watch you all preach your backwards and twisted views
and you'll get to watch me have fun banging hot babes
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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 07-21-2014, 06:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meetmeinthepit View Post
Well if hell is real, I hope to see you all there
I am sure we'll have a grand ol' time
I'll watch you all preach your backwards and twisted views
and you'll get to watch me have fun banging hot babes
Don't be silly. We follow the word of God, the Bible, so we are going to heaven. So, it will be us who are having fun in heaven and watching you being tormented horribly in hell for all eternity. Turn or burn, that's the way it is friend.
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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 07-21-2014, 08:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meetmeinthepit View Post
Well if hell is real, I hope to see you all there
I am sure we'll have a grand ol' time
I'll watch you all preach your backwards and twisted views
and you'll get to watch me have fun banging hot babes
Some corrections:

You can not see us. That is, because we are so far up. And you are head down, demons are having fun with you.

Some informational verses for you:

Revelation 21:8
Jude 1:7
Matthew 13:50
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Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 07-21-2014, 05:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meetmeinthepit View Post
Well if hell is real, I hope to see you all there
I am sure we'll have a grand ol' time
I'll watch you all preach your backwards and twisted views
and you'll get to watch me have fun banging hot babes
Dear friend:

Thank you for necroposting and for not backing up your position with Scripture. We the elect will have a grand ol' time, but it will be at your expense:

[Psalm 52:6-7 KJV] 6 The righteous also shall see, and fear, and shall laugh at him: 7 Lo, [this is] the man [that] made not God his strength; but trusted in the abundance of his riches, [and] strengthened himself in his wickedness.

You Us


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 07-22-2014, 01:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meetmeinthepit View Post
Well if hell is real, I hope to see you all there
I am sure we'll have a grand ol' time
I'll watch you all preach your backwards and twisted views
and you'll get to watch me have fun banging hot babes
There is no "if" about it, friend. Hell IS real.

Let me explain to you how being unsaved trash works when you die.

You're dead. Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.

As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape you repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.

Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Savior the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Contact our team of joo accountants at once to set up a Salvation™ guaranteeing tithing schedule.

Surrender you soul to Jesus and
JOIN US.

Praise Jesus!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is online now
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Default Re: Bad News For Queers - 07-24-2014, 02:40 AM

Thank you, Pastor Zeke. Powerful. That should take care of wise-guy remarks that make fun of hell.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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