Friends, I was in San Jose today when the violence happened.
You might have heard a bunch of dirty Mexicans and liberals attacked Trump supporters outside his rally, and I can tell you it's true because I witnessed it.
Worse yet, the police mistook me for one of the liberal aggressors and arrested me!
You see, I was there to protest Trump because he is not an actual Christian. I guess the cops took one look at the sandwich board I was wearing, which was covered with information about Trump's lack of Biblical knowledge, and they assumed I was some kind of Democrat.
I won't even tell you what a holding cell full of Democrats smells like.
Anyway, I've been released on my own recognizance, and have a court date coming up.
The charges include resisting arrest and assaulting an officer of the law.
I will, of course, pray for a Ted Cruz presidency in 2024.
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