General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-25-2019, 09:48 PM
It's official. Jesus hates the Rain Forest!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBC
The official figures show more than 75,000 forest fires were recorded in Brazil in the first eight months of the year - the highest number since 2013. That compares with 40,000 in the same period in 2018.
|
Let us not forget, Jesus prefers the desert. When profitable, it's good to protect the forests, but if Jesus loved them most, He would have been born in Brazil, or the Congo, or Oregon. But He wasn't, and I think it might be because of the mosquitoes, but anyway, He decided to impregnate His mother and be born in Israel. In the desert.
People will come to you for support to help put out the fire in the Amazon, but True Christians™ know our priority is saving Souls for the LORD's Second Coming (Matthew 24:14). It is not to preserve the earthly paradise for atheists, hippies, and vegetarians (John 15:19; 17:16; Philippians 3:20; Colossians 3:2). Those who are most committed to preserving the environment are atheists and advocates of abortion.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
|
|
Posts: 4,850
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-25-2019, 09:59 PM
Oh, I can't say that I am terribly surprised, dear Sister Mary. We've seen how those Cathyolicks have ignored the commandment of the for centuries, with their statues everywhere -- even though they should know better than to do so:
Exodus 20:4 "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth."
Obviously, they didn't learn a thing from when sent the fires to their cathedral in Paris, so now He is trying another way of getting their attention!
A blessed day to you, dear Sister Mary,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-25-2019, 10:00 PM
J'g:9:14: Then said all the trees unto the bramble, Come thou, and reign over us.
J'g:9:15: And the bramble said unto the trees, If in truth ye anoint me king over you, then come and put your trust in my shadow: and if not, let fire come out of the bramble, and devour the cedars of Lebanon.
Someone in the Amazon has annoyed a bramble...
|
|
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,730
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-26-2019, 12:38 AM
This is Jesus's revenge on all of those "Save the Rainforest" hippies. He's sticking a flaming middle finger in their greasy faces to show them that He is not mocked!
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-26-2019, 01:28 AM
Urgent! Are there any signs of simultaneous hail or blood, even menstrual?! This could be IT! Jesus might already be boarding the Celestial Jet to return!
Revelation 8:7
The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.
I suppose the Analzone takes care of the tree conundrum as it should be at least a third of the world's arboreal abominations. Looking forward to the combusting grasslands.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,122
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-26-2019, 01:36 AM
It would be a kind thing to warn all sinners including homers, liberals and the rest that their time is almost up. We're all quite busy this week so they will have to find it out for themselves.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,730
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-26-2019, 02:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
It would be a kind thing to warn all sinners including homers, liberals and the rest that their time is almost up.
|
We've been doing that for ages. Why would they suddenly listen now? I say let them burn in the fires of this world and the next.
|
|
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-26-2019, 08:02 AM
"Climate Change" in the Bible (KJV1611)? There is both Biblical and other evidence to suggest that Israel was much wetter and more hospitable for farming in the past than today. No doubt Jesus is turning it into a desert to punish the Jews for not accepting Him as the Son of God. As far as collateral damage is concerned, the mooselimbs deserve it as well.
As far as the fires in the Amazon, we all know the "new" pope is trying to adopt the Amazon savages pagan religion into the cathylick church - reason enough for Jesus to burn the place to the ground.
Quote:
And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.
- Genesis 13:10
And the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows;
And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land unto a good land and a large, unto a land flowing with milk and honey; unto the place of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites.
- Exodus 3:7,8
|
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 454
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Rockford, IL
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-26-2019, 11:18 AM
This is Amazon-ing! (Pun intended!)
This is Jesus's way of clear cutting away primitive wilderness to make room more shopping malls when the flames settle. Those South Americans are already under-privileged, so this is truly a blessing.
|
|
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
|
|
Posts: 4,850
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-26-2019, 01:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
We've been doing that for ages. Why would they suddenly listen now? I say let them burn in the fires of this world and the next.
|
Amen, dear Brother Lukes, Amen! Those sinful reprobates will not listen now -- or ever. The entire world could be on fire, and they will still refuse to see the Truth that's been presented to them so many times.
Ephesians 4:18 "Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart".
A blessed day to you, dear Brother Lukes,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 218
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Idaho, USA
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-26-2019, 02:34 PM
God, I'm glad that this site is blessed by you
|
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-26-2019, 06:40 PM
If there were that many actual forest fires going on, the 'rain forest' would of been gone long ago. More likely it is just bacon cooking camp fires from ministry out reach bringing Jesus and Christianity to the heathen backwoods natives. Imagine what it will be like when these creatures and access Pastor Flint's PodCasts®!
Onward Christian Soldiers, Marching as to War!
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-29-2019, 04:59 AM
I heard on the news that a Professor of Arson from the university (I didn't know there were professors of arson!) declared the sudden increase of fires by 300% was absolutely NOT caused by lightning strikes.
And it would be unnecessary wouldn't it, if the fire hailstones have started.
|
|
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 11,342
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-30-2019, 02:07 PM
You just know that Jesus HAS to be on His way soon!
What with the whole planet--edge to edge of it--burning and sinking and stinking, it is near to unlivable. So Jesus has to come back to save His beloved remnant of True Christians™.
The more catastrophies the better it is for Christians. This big fire is like Jesus' "Save the Date" mailer for His upcoming wedding to his dear Bride--us!
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
|
|
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
|
|
Posts: 4,850
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-30-2019, 02:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
You just know that Jesus HAS to be on His way soon!
What with the whole planet--edge to edge of it--burning and sinking and stinking, it is near to unlivable. So Jesus has to come back to save His beloved remnant of True Christians™.
The more catastrophies the better it is for Christians. This big fire is like Jesus' "Save the Date" mailer for His upcoming wedding to his dear Bride--us!
|
Amen, dear Sister Handmaiden, Amen!! And I do thank you for pointing this out. Goodness, it does make the heart feel good, knowing that this fire is a sure sign of the soon-to-be return of our blessed , the . How I praise for glorious promises!
Luke 12:49 "I am come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled?"
Revelation 22:12 "And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be."
A blessed day to you, dear Sister Handmaiden,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
|
|
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
|
|
Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-30-2019, 02:57 PM
Everyone downwind of this conflagration must be high as a kite on the burning cocaine. But Mexicans are so excitable by nature (when they're not asleep) that it's likely nobody has noticed.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
|
|
South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-30-2019, 05:42 PM
I always roll my eyes when the bleeding heart liberals say, "but we have to preserve the planet for the future generations!" That is something only an atheist can say, as it takes away agency from God. God is the one who created this planet, and He is the Only One Who can either destroy it or save it.
Just think about it. When a tenant notes a leaky roof, what does he do? Fix the roof himself, or complain to the landlord? Well, God is our Landlord. If the climate really is changing due to human influence (and a whooping 2% of scientists disagree with that statement), we need to complain to our Landlord, via Prayer. He is the only one who can fix it. If He wants to.
Now, if God was like any other landlord, we could give 30 days notice and move out to some other, more suitable property. But it's not like that, so suck it up, buttercup. This is the world we were given and if God wants us deep fried before the Rapture, well, that's what we are going to get.
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-30-2019, 10:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
if God was like any other landlord, we could give 30 days notice and move out
|
I remember another "tenant" problem which God solved rather easily. What reminded me was some doyleys I'd made as an incentive for a competition, a set of 8 which could be printed on tissue paper and used as a template for embroidery or (a less time consuming alternative) printed on light card and laminated.
A scripture doyley is a great way to witness, especially when dealing with savages who are quite likely to eat directly off the ground. I'm not sure whether savages still occupy the region but they are of a peculiar snake worshipping variety aren't they? God would not like that at all and has used a remedy before that would be particularly effective here against ungrateful tenants who've persistently refused to subdue the land, allowing the jungle to utterly run amok over everything.
Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
The parallel here is almost exact. A very similar response from God could not therefore be unexpected. When printing a doyley for lamination, solid ink printers give the best results.
|
|
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
|
|
Posts: 4,850
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-30-2019, 11:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
A scripture doyley is a great way to witness, especially when dealing with savages who are quite likely to eat directly off the ground. I'm not sure whether savages still occupy the region but they are of a peculiar snake worshipping variety aren't they? God would not like that at all and has used a remedy before that would be particularly effective here against ungrateful tenants who've persistently refused to subdue the land, allowing the jungle to utterly run amok over everything. The parallel here is almost exact. A very similar response from God could not therefore be unexpected. When printing a doyley for lamination, solid ink printers give the best results.
|
Doyleys! My goodness, Sister Mitza, I thought that I was the only one on to remember such lovely bits of handwork, and I do thank you so for mentioning these treasures. And what an impressive way of witnessing to the nigras in Africa! Now, when I was a missionary in Monrovia, I used to crochet doyleys as gifts for the native people, such as the one in the photo below. You'll see that I've included the Cross in the centre, but it might be hard to notice due to the stitching. Your idea of a printed doyley is excellent, and much quicker to produce than the usual tatting. If it helps to share the glorious Gospel of our , then I'm sure that your method will be a very useful tool when evangelizing.
Matthew 29:19 " Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost".
A blessed day to you, dear Sister Mitza,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! -
08-31-2019, 01:31 AM
The competition remains current, there's still a couple of verses to reference in Landover's Baptist Lounge and eventually I'll need to decide on a standard format for linking Scripture. At present it's all over the place due to contributors' linking to different KJV sites. The official KJV site is the most consistent: it doesn't suddenly change format!
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|