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True Christian™
True Christian™
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My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-11-2013, 08:11 AM
I told him that (no) thanks to Abe Lincoln, daddys are no longer allowed to buy little baby nigras for their children. He wept bitterly at this, and I tried to soothe him by suggesting a more intelligent and better smelling pet. At this point' he was in a full blown tantrum. I brieflyconsidered caning the boy, for I do love him so, but something stayed my hand. "Look,son", I told him, "nigras are cute when they are young, but those things grow into rip snorting over-sexed bucks in no time at all. Even if secular law allowed me to buy you one, I would never be able to afford its Crack habit."
In spite of the logic of my argument, I immediately began to think of ways I could get my hands on a young nigra. My wife sure could use some extra help in the kitchen, I rationalized....
I considered adopting one, but I can't stomach the thought of a blackie using my surname, even if it is a mere formality. Maybe I should just get him a spider monkey after all...sigh...
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-11-2013, 08:23 AM
Slavery is ordained by God's word. Black slavery is specifically okay in the Bible as per Genesis 9:25.
It is when ownership goes wrong and you end up letting your pet bucks all escape. Without someone to feed and care for them, this is what happens!
It's like getting a baby alligator. Sure it's cute but when it grows too large, you end up flushing it down the toilet and it continues to grow in the sewers.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-11-2013, 04:30 PM
You're a good and understanding father, Brother Witch Hammer! The colored boys they breed today wouldn't know what to do in a white man's home anyway. They get so skittish and confused.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 02-11-2013 at 06:00 PM.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-12-2013, 04:00 AM
They are also addicts Sister Mary.
I worry what one would do without a constant supply of KFC and waddymelon. I'd be worried they'd rape or kill for it.
Decisions, decisions...
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Location: On Earth now, waiting for the rapture
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-25-2013, 08:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
I told him that (no) thanks to Abe Lincoln, daddys are no longer allowed to buy little baby nigras for their children. He wept bitterly at this, and I tried to soothe him by suggesting a more intelligent and better smelling pet. At this point' he was in a full blown tantrum. I brieflyconsidered caning the boy, for I do love him so, but something stayed my hand. "Look,son", I told him, "nigras are cute when they are young, but those things grow into rip snorting over-sexed bucks in no time at all. Even if secular law allowed me to buy you one, I would never be able to afford its Crack habit."
In spite of the logic of my argument, I immediately began to think of ways I could get my hands on a young nigra. My wife sure could use some extra help in the kitchen, I rationalized....
I considered adopting one, but I can't stomach the thought of a blackie using my surname, even if it is a mere formality. Maybe I should just get him a spider monkey after all...sigh...
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The thought of your innocent young child weeping wrenches my heart.
I have given this a great deal of thought. Perhaps purchasing an African Pygmy child is more suited to your lifestyle. I'm sure there are some very reputable brokers that service the USA-Africa trade.
Some advantages are:
1. They are less threatening to neighbors when taken for walks.
2. If kept indoors, they require a smaller cage.
3. Easier to handle/train.
4. Remain cuddly well into middle age.
5. Easier to bathe.
6. Easier to feed.
I hope this helps.
YIC
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-25-2013, 08:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy The Penitent
The thought of your innocent young child weeping wrenches my heart.
I have given this a great deal of thought. Perhaps purchasing an African Pygmy child is more suited to your lifestyle. I'm sure there are some very reputable brokers that service the USA-Africa trade.
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Please understand I do not attempt to correct you, friend, but I've heard nothing good about these African nigras. They are far lazier than the American variety. Why, just one look at the African nigra children will reveal how they're even too lazy to eat.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Posts: 289
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Location: On Earth now, waiting for the rapture
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-25-2013, 09:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Please understand I do not attempt to correct you, friend, but I've heard nothing good about these African nigras. They are far lazier than the American variety. Why, just one look at the African nigra children will reveal how they're even too lazy to eat.
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You are so right Sister Mary. Imagine what a burden it would be having to carry one of those things back and forth twice a day from its pen to the poopy area!
I will continue to look into a suitable birthday gift for Brother Witch Hammer's son,
YIC
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: the jungles of africa
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-25-2013, 09:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Please understand I do not attempt to correct you, friend, but I've heard nothing good about these African nigras. They are far lazier than the American variety. Why, just one look at the African nigra children will reveal how they're even too lazy to eat.
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You are most correct. I reside at the african nigra factory. I call it a factory, because they breed like vermin here and they are useless as slaves They can't even mow the lawn without burning down the back yard.
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Descended from Rapes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,548
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold Bible Campground and RV Park.
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-26-2013, 02:21 AM
God gave AIDS to all the African nigra. So it wouldn't be safe to have one around the house. One stray cough or sneeze and your whole family has got the gay plague.
Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-26-2013, 02:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordon_za
You are most correct. I reside at the african nigra factory. I call it a factory, because they breed like vermin here and they are useless as slaves They can't even mow the lawn without burning down the back yard.
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Friend, you should see what they do here in the states when big government pays them for not having a job. I've seen them destroy entire cities with fire, and carry off all the electronics and white women.
That being said, the Africans have provided us with an excellent government template in nations like Somalia, where roads depend on philanthropists for maintenance and mercenary armies assure families that they will not be afflicted by witchcraft.
Shines + big government = fire * looting squared
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-26-2013, 10:32 AM
Can't one be purchased at the pet store? I'd hate to dissapoint the boy, i'm sure you can find a veterinarian in the area to give him his shots for a reasonable price.
Best, Harold Law
Ephesians 5:22-24
22*Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23*For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24*Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,745
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-26-2013, 10:37 AM
Why not catch one for yourself?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 543
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the UAE.
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-26-2013, 11:21 AM
In the time it took you to snap that picture, you probably caught two or three, but you know it's better to throw the small ones back to keep the area populated.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
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Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-26-2013, 11:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
I told him that (no) thanks to Abe Lincoln, daddys are no longer allowed to buy little baby nigras for their children. He wept bitterly at this, and I tried to soothe him by suggesting a more intelligent and better smelling pet. At this point' he was in a full blown tantrum. I brieflyconsidered caning the boy, for I do love him so, but something stayed my hand. "Look,son", I told him, "nigras are cute when they are young, but those things grow into rip snorting over-sexed bucks in no time at all. Even if secular law allowed me to buy you one, I would never be able to afford its Crack habit."
In spite of the logic of my argument, I immediately began to think of ways I could get my hands on a young nigra. My wife sure could use some extra help in the kitchen, I rationalized....
I considered adopting one, but I can't stomach the thought of a blackie using my surname, even if it is a mere formality. Maybe I should just get him a spider monkey after all...sigh...
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I worry that if you did get your young 'un a Nigra it would be like that Michael Jackson with his chimp.
They are fine when they are young but when they get older they become far stronger than people and get very aggressive.
I've seen a documentary where the Nigra or the chimp (I forget which) tore some woman's face off
Why not get something less ferocious and aggressive like one of those charming honey badgers?
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Posts: 289
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-26-2013, 05:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles
I worry that if you did get your young 'un a Nigra it would be like that Michael Jackson with his chimp.
They are fine when they are young but when they get older they become far stronger than people and get very aggressive.
I've seen a documentary where the Nigra or the chimp (I forget which) tore some woman's face off
Why not get something less ferocious and aggressive like one of those charming honey badgers?
YIC
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Good point, Dr. Niles. But I wonder if we can grow the American variety small...Like goldfish or Japanese ladies feet.
Perhaps a worthwhile and fun science experiment we can do at home is to get both a male and female niglet, keep them in separate, small wooden boxes until they stop growing then breed them to see if the pup's growth is stunted....Just an idea.
YIC
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Posts: 15,473
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-27-2013, 12:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
Why not catch one for yourself?
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Works everytime!
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Outdoorsman, Hunter, Fisherman, Husband, True Christian™
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Posts: 1,565
Join Date: Apr 2010
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-27-2013, 03:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harold Law
Can't one be purchased at the pet store? I'd hate to dissapoint the boy, i'm sure you can find a veterinarian in the area to give him his shots for a reasonable price.
Best, Harold Law
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No, there not sold in pet stores, and a vet won't even neuter one for you, let alone do shots.
We had one around for a while as a kennel hand, but Liz got a little too 'friendly' with it and it got uppity. Took it to town and gave it a one way bus ticket to LA.
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-27-2013, 04:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seth Campbell
No, there not sold in pet stores, and a vet won't even neuter one for you, let alone do shots.
We had one around for a while as a kennel hand, but Liz got a little too 'friendly' with it and it got uppity. Took it to town and gave it a one way bus ticket to LA.
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Unbelievable, I always knew that the Liberal agenda was depraved, but who would have imagined they'd take away the right of a bright young soldier in Christ to buy a caged young Nigra? Enemies of Liberty I tell you, enemies of Liberty.
Next they'll be telling us we can't stone witches and homersexurals to death!
YIC, Harold Law
Ephesians 5:22-24
22*Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23*For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24*Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
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Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
Under Investigation
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Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: window licking
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-28-2013, 10:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harold Law
Unbelievable, I always knew that the Liberal agenda was depraved, but who would have imagined they'd take away the right of a bright young soldier in Christ to buy a caged young Nigra? Enemies of Liberty I tell you, enemies of Liberty.
Next they'll be telling us we can't stone witches and homersexurals to death!
YIC, Harold Law
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To buy any Black child is purely evil. What do you gain from that? A child that, once grown, is used to going to jail instead of being a productive member of society?
Also, stoning witches and homosexuals is illegal. It falls under murder which is a FELONY.
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Fourm Member
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Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday... -
02-28-2013, 10:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Like Me
To buy any Black child is purely evil. What do you gain from that? A child that, once grown, is used to going to jail instead of being a productive member of society?
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So you're saying that all black children will grow up and go to jail? Why would getting a child out of that situation be "evil"?
Not that I didn't try, but the one I tried with was already an adult. Maybe if I bought a black child and raised it in the kennels, the situation would have turned out better.
Quote:
Also, stoning witches and homosexuals is illegal. It falls under murder which is a FELONY.
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Oh you silly liebrals and your public school level reading comprehension.
Stay out of Freehold and you'll be fine.
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