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hellion hellion is offline
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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-10-2006, 07:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enobarbus View Post
And if you had been properly thrashed as a young child, you wouldn't have grown up into the heathen demon that you are, ripping Christian Babies' throats out with your teeth, romping in the woods with the horned demon, and sacrificing cats skinned alive to lucifer.
Eno, 'properly thrashed' children usually grow up to be serial killers or lunatics. After years of being traumatized by their 'loved ones' who are supposed to care for them, they learn to either go on the basic instinct of the human way of thinking, and live only to merely survive. Or they commit suicide in an attempt to free themselves from their terrible way of living. They might turn rebellious and either take their pain and suffering out on their peers, or on their tormentors (i.e. their parents). The older ones usually take up drugs to mentally escape their pain, atleast for awhile that is.

And if they survive their childhood, they usually have to go to therapists on a daily basis, or possibly a mental hospital. They live in constant fear, terrors, nightmares. It makes it increasingly difficult to function in society. Let alone finding a girl/boyfriend. Most abused children grow up to become anti-social.

Beating children causes nothing but pain and suffering for the victim. You're ruining their lives.


"I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-11-2006, 01:00 AM

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Originally Posted by hellion View Post
Eno, 'properly thrashed' children usually grow up to be serial killers or lunatics. After years of being traumatized by their 'loved ones' who are supposed to care for them, they learn to either go on the basic instinct of the human way of thinking, and live only to merely survive. Or they commit suicide in an attempt to free themselves from their terrible way of living. They might turn rebellious and either take their pain and suffering out on their peers, or on their tormentors (i.e. their parents). The older ones usually take up drugs to mentally escape their pain, atleast for awhile that is.

And if they survive their childhood, they usually have to go to therapists on a daily basis, or possibly a mental hospital. They live in constant fear, terrors, nightmares. It makes it increasingly difficult to function in society. Let alone finding a girl/boyfriend. Most abused children grow up to become anti-social.

Beating children causes nothing but pain and suffering for the victim. You're ruining their lives.
More lies and nonsense. The Bible tells us that WITHHOLDING a beating from a child will ruin their life, and cause them to roast in the flames of hellfire along with you and your sodomite buddies. God commands us to lay on the rod with gusto, not even fearing that the child might die from the beating he or she deserved.

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. -- Proverbs 13:24

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. -- Proverbs 22:15

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. -- Proverbs 23:13-14


Each of us at Landover Baptist Church has been beaten senseless by our loving Christian parents, and as you can see none of us are serial killers or maladjusted in any way. I thank my father each and every day for bringing me to Jesus through the rod of discipline. Too bad that your parents don't care enough about you or Jesus to give you the beatings you so richly deserve.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-11-2006, 04:44 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Each of us at Landover Baptist Church has been beaten senseless by our loving Christian parents, and as you can see none of us are serial killers or maladjusted in any way. I thank my father each and every day for bringing me to Jesus through the rod of discipline. Too bad that your parents don't care enough about you or Jesus to give you the beatings you so richly deserve.
I do believe, Pastor, that little Miss Hellmouth here has taken on the obscenely LIEberal belief that ANY corporal punishment is child abuse.

"My mommy hit my behind, teacher!" "OH NO! Let's call Child Protective Services, and put you in a foster home with a child molesting pervert . . . and HER HUSBAND!" Yes, that's MUCH better! Surely THAT wouldn't ruin the child's life!

There is a tremendous difference between taking corrective action with an unruly child, and beating it the way you would a snarling dog or back-sassing servant! The former is done with love and a belt, or rod, or switch. The latter is done with a baseball bat!

Miss Hellmouth, which do you consider better, giving a child a well-deserved spanking as needed to teach it to behave, or calling the police because the child won't mind (Like that woman with the vile brat called the cops because he kept gaming with his Playboy!), or maybe letting it grow up running wild with Klowns and male Moms, to become a vile harlot, axe murderer, or (Jesus, forgive me) . . . lawyer?

Surely you can understand the need for discipline in a child. Wouldn't you be happier if YOU'D had some discipline in your life? I've no doubt WE would.
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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-11-2006, 07:09 AM

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Originally Posted by PussywhippedByChrist View Post
I've always used a nine-iron, as the slanted head digs into the flesh in a way that is very satisfying and causes immense pain. How ever, I've recently been trying the five-iron, which is more flat faced, and it produces a resounding smack which is truly a joyful noise. Which of these clubs do you reccommend, or maybe I should use a different one all together, like the seven-iron? I'm just not sure.

Gary
I think I could tell you where to stick that nine iron, but I'm pretty sure you won't like it....actually, no, check that, you might like it a little too much.
Barbarian.



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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-11-2006, 12:51 PM

As a educator, let me provide some information. Children must be beat. It teaches them manners and respect. It also may keep them out of Hell. If you love your child you will be beat it.
However you don't want to kill it! Golf clubs are too much. Fishing poles are more in order, belts, and other things in that class are also fine.


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-11-2006, 05:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
I think I could tell you where to stick that nine iron, but I'm pretty sure you won't like it....actually, no, check that, you might like it a little too much.
Barbarian.
Finally, Mrs. Van Hell'sBells, you admit that only barbarians -- rather than good upstanding Christian folk -- like that sort of thing.

Could you, perhaps, be starting to see The Light™?
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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 04:58 AM

I mean 'barbarian' in the following sense:

bar·bar·i·an n
  1. A fierce, brutal, or cruel person.
Possibly not the same meaning you had in mind.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 05:51 AM

I was always partial to the wire coat hanger...the thick ones. At least that is what was used in my unruly days. Make sure they are the old thick ones though. The newer mudslime versions are made of cheaper stuff. Plus with a coat hanger, to the untrained eye, it could be just a wrinkle mark from sitting too long. Easier to hide.

YIC
Hushed


And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 05:30 PM

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Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
"My mommy hit my behind, teacher!" "OH NO! Let's call Child Protective Services, and put you in a foster home with a child molesting pervert . . . and HER HUSBAND!" Yes, that's MUCH better! Surely THAT wouldn't ruin the child's life!

There is a tremendous difference between taking corrective action with an unruly child, and beating it the way you would a snarling dog or back-sassing servant! The former is done with love and a belt, or rod, or switch. The latter is done with a baseball bat!
Well you know what? What if the child never got spanked? They wouldn't be put in a foster home in the first place!


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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 05:31 PM

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Well you know what? What if the child never got spanked? They wouldn't be put in a foster home in the first place!
No, but they'd be sure to end up in Juvenile Hall, or possibly the AIDS ward of a hospital.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 05:39 PM

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No, but they'd be sure to end up in Juvenile Hall, or possibly the AIDS ward of a hospital.
And why would they?


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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 05:44 PM

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And why would they?
Because of not having had the demons thrashed out of them, obviously.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 05:51 PM

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Originally Posted by Ixi View Post
And why would they?
Well, just look at your own family:

You're a goat worshipping pagan given over to a life of witchcraft and base lusts.
And your little sister lost her virginity before 11 and "hangs out" with gang members.

Neither of you are getting what you deserve: a Godly beating by True Christian™ parents.
It's ones duty towards ones children to teach them right and wrong the way Jesus inteded.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 08:19 PM

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Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
Well, just look at your own family:

You're a goat worshipping pagan given over to a life of witchcraft and base lusts.
And your little sister lost her virginity before 11 and "hangs out" with gang members.

Neither of you are getting what you deserve: a Godly beating by True Christian™ parents.
It's ones duty towards ones children to teach them right and wrong the way Jesus inteded.
So what? Even if I did worship goats, which I don't, it would be a much better life then if I was stuck in Landover and beaten!


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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 09:22 PM

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Originally Posted by Ixi View Post
So what? Even if I did worship goats, which I don't, it would be a much better life then if I was stuck in Landover and beaten!
Worshiping goats a more fulfilling life than worshiping the Lord Jesus? My my my, if what goes around doesn't come around! It seems that something like this may have happened way back in Elijah's day! I suggest you check out I Kings 18 to see how *that* turned out.


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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 09:41 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
ICKY! These people are obviously Catholics! You KNOW what deviants THEY are! GODLY Christians like ourselves would never hit anyone with a golf club! My God, suppose you bent it?
Thats just as stupid as don't drink and drive, you could spill the beer!


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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 09:58 PM

Urm, I want to make a point here. Golf clubs aren't good for beatings. They're really, really painful and don't tend to get the point across. They just piss the hell out of you. Trust me I've been on the receiving end of a 9 iron before.
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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 10:05 PM

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Originally Posted by Dameon_Alucard View Post
Urm, I want to make a point here. Golf clubs aren't good for beatings. They're really, really painful and don't tend to get the point across. They just piss the hell out of you. Trust me I've been on the receiving end of a 9 iron before.
Obviously the demons still possess you, or you'd have turned your life over to Jesus long ago. Why haven't you confessed your sins and walked into Jesus' waiting arms? He has temporarily gone through an inconceivable amount of pain and even temporarily DIED for you, and you still can't accept that gift? I suggest you talk with a pastor and immediately send a Thanks-tithe to Jesus via the Paypal button, to assure Him that you haven't abandoned Him forever (unless He decided that you were Hellbound from the get-go).


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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 10:10 PM

And I've been through a lot of pain thanks to him. I don't think I want to give him money I don't have, especially when most of the scars on my body are his fault.
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Default Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with? - 12-12-2006, 10:17 PM

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Originally Posted by Dameon_Alucard View Post
And I've been through a lot of pain thanks to him. I don't think I want to give him money I don't have, especially when most of the scars on my body are his fault.
You wouldn't want those scars to be for naught, would they? And for every scar you have, think of all the scars you have caused the Lord whilst He was being horsewhipped for your transgressions? If you don't have money, perhaps it is because He hasn't seen fit to bless you. There are solutions to these problems friend, and the Solution has a name: Jesus. Turn your soul over to Jesus, complete your tithes (retro-active, with interest, of course -- and don't cheat, our Jewish accountants are sharp!) and He will Bless you accordingly! I know that since the day I turned my life over to Christ, the blessings have been nonstop.


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