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Default Re: Introduction to Godly marital discipline? - 07-08-2013, 10:40 PM

I often use a Bible (King James) to beat the word into my wife, this so far has worked the best for me. For extreme cases I will lock her in the basement, but that hasn't happened since last year when she burned a pie!
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Default Re: Introduction to Godly marital discipline? - 07-11-2013, 07:07 AM

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Originally Posted by Andy Formen View Post
I often use a Bible (King James) to beat the word into my wife, this so far has worked the best for me. For extreme cases I will lock her in the basement, but that hasn't happened since last year when she burned a pie!
I hope she learned her lesson brother Andy, if you don't mind I call you that way. My husband only beats me when I do something unproper like burn his dinner, don't have a clean house by the time he arrives home, and of course when I was pregnant he was very angry because I was waiting two girls instead of a boy. It was completely my fault, so he beated me, of course that didn't changed our girls gender, but they learned even before they were born to respect their father authority

Oh, by the way, my apologies for intruding like this in a men forum, is the last time, I promise
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Default Re: Introduction to Godly marital discipline? - 07-12-2013, 02:21 PM

The reason I left Churchianity is precisely because that's what my pastor preached...now he's serving 5-10 in Dodge County for domestic violence.


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Default Re: Introduction to Godly marital discipline? - 07-12-2013, 02:28 PM

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Originally Posted by Paul Tarsan View Post
The reason I left Churchianity is precisely because that's what my pastor preached...now he's serving 5-10 in Dodge County for domestic violence.
Mk 4:16-17 And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness; and have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution ariseth for the word's sake, immediately they are offended.


Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

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Default Re: Introduction to Godly marital discipline? - 07-12-2013, 06:56 PM

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Originally Posted by Paul Tarsan View Post
The reason I left Churchianity is precisely because that's what my pastor preached...now he's serving 5-10 in Dodge County for domestic violence.
He was obviously not Saved©. Why turn on God just because you had a rotten apple in your Church? Here at Landover Baptist, we're True Christians™.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Introduction to Godly marital discipline? - 12-06-2013, 10:07 PM

I confronted her about it in the end. She denied the whole thing, of course, but she still hasn't fallen pregnant.

I'm getting a bit fed up. It's obvious that either she's mutilating her body and ignoring her purpose by popping these evil pills or she's broken and unable to conceive. Personally I don't care much either way, she has become worthless to me.

I must admit that I've been getting short-tempered as a result. To start with, I followed your sound advice, brothers, and invested in a quality beating paddle but that didn't work very well. I instantly recognised the way her eyes rolled back into her head as I flayed her with it. I knew she was enjoying it because there's only one other thing I know of that makes her do that. It's the look she has when I read the Bible to her.

Anyway, I'm starting to think I married a monster because I stuck sandpaper to the paddle and really gave it to her hard but I got exactly the same reaction. The most I could get out of her using my modified paddle was some groaning of mild discomfort. I gave up on that.

I'm beginning to have bad thoughts about taking her on a little trip to a local forest and abandoning her there. Women have no sense of direction and can't fend for themselves so I'm sure this would be tantamount to murder but I'm reaching the end of my tether!


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Default Re: Introduction to Godly marital discipline? - 12-07-2013, 12:59 AM

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Originally Posted by SeekingEnlightenment View Post
I confronted her about it in the end. She denied the whole thing, of course, but she still hasn't fallen pregnant.
Perhaps she was born defective??

Could you exchange her for one that 'works'?

I am new here and dont know all the protocols, forgive me if I am out of line.

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Default Re: Introduction to Godly marital discipline? - 12-07-2013, 01:41 AM

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Originally Posted by SeekingEnlightenment View Post
I'm beginning to have bad thoughts about taking her on a little trip to a local forest and abandoning her there. Women have no sense of direction and can't fend for themselves so I'm sure this would be tantamount to murder but I'm reaching the end of my tether!
Don't be hasty, friend. Remember, the LORD answers the prayers of the righteous (James 5:16).



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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