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Default I forced my son to burn the Quran - 01-13-2013, 04:55 AM

Today when my 13 year old son Adam came home from school, he told me that he was thinking about converting to Islam. He had a Quran with him, that he got from an islamofascist friend in school. I became so furious that I did not know what to do, so I just gave him a really hard punch right in the face. Then I forced him to pour gasoline over his Quran, and set it on fire. After that he had to flush down the ashes in the toilet, after i pissed on them of course. Now i have put him on a pork-only diet, he will for 1 month only be allowed to eat pork and nothing else. During the time I will rebuild the basement to a mini-Guantanamo in case he would get evil islamofascist thoughts again. I also forced him to make an official apology to the American embassy in Stockholm for having islamofascist thoughts. Aint I a great, loving and caring parent? Me and Jesus thinks so.
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Default Re: I forced my son to burn the Quran - 01-13-2013, 05:33 AM

I have to say, I do treat myself to a few videos on the Youtube now and then, depicting various ways of desecrating the islamofascist "holy" book.





Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: I forced my son to burn the Quran - 01-13-2013, 08:48 AM

We can all celebrate Jesus by draining some freshly cooked bacon on a page of their "holy book".



Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Matthew Hopkins Matthew Hopkins is offline
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Default Re: I forced my son to burn the Quran - 01-13-2013, 10:59 AM

I find that by writing to Islamic charities for free copies, I save a fortune on toilet paper: shout GLORY!

YBIC
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