[goodmorningglasggow]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

I saw no question, just a revolting display of scottish pornography.

Pray tell, what about my statement was pornography?

[Rachel_Pierce]

Originally Posted by goodmorningglasggow

It's like saying that because you're American, you're fat, lazy, work-shy, and a drunkard, just like Homer Simpson.

This guy is hilarious! He actually thinks Homer Simpson is a REAL PERSON!!! ...

....HE'S ONLY A CARTOON CHARACTER YOU DRUNKEN SCOTCH MORON!!!!

What a retard!

[Denny the Mick]

Oh, dear. Oh dearie dear! I believe that you really need an education about Scotland, and the wealth it has brought to the entire human race. The ignorance I've seen on this site from uneducated, toothless yanks is quite breathtaking, and indeed, I'm still trying to catch my breath because I'm laughing so hard! Yanks don't seem to understand that they're regarded by the rest of the world as being the least educated, most arrogant, and really pretty worthless portion of the human race in existance. Oh, forgive me, I've already said you're ignorant, I didn't mean to bash you over the head with it!

I did think though, that I would do the gracious, generous thing and provide a little bit of education about the SCOTTISH (scotch is a word that fairy Yanks use to describe the imitation Whisky they make because they're too namby pamby to drink the real, manly stuff) contributions to society at large over the years, without which, by the way, YOU would be without electricity, and certainly without "interweb" whatever that is - we have internet (the real thing) over here.

Anyway, we'll start with the discovery of penicillin, which has saved more lives than were lost in all of the wars throughout history (no other countrys invention has saved as many lives), and without which people would still be dying of the most basic illnesses. Antisepsis, without which basic bacterial infections would still kill and maim, and most people would die post operatively, that is if they didn't die of the pain during the operation, as you would still be having to bite down on leather belts without the invention of anaesthetic, also by a Scot.

Awww, hang it, I'll be here all day - I'll just list some of our inventions, otherwise it might take up around 10 pages, our achievements are so great! Here you go!

Penicillin, quinine, cure for scurvy, antisepsis, anaesthetic, adhesive postage stamps, radar defence system, telephones, television, refridgerators, steam engine, iron bridges, macadamised roads, microwave oven, THE UNITED STATES NAVY! (ooh! I couldn't wait to tell you about that one, bet you didn't know that!), polarization of light, paleobiology, breech loading rifle (which helped us wipe the floor with the yanky army during the battle of brandywine in1777), sociology, tubular steel, the telegraph, thermos bottles, sulphuric acid, the steam hammer, logarithms, THE UNITES STATES NAVY! (oh, I already said that. Ah well), the kelvin scale, hypodermic syringes, Hallow'een, geosciences, flailing machines, fax machines, Encyclopaedia Britannica (although it hasn't made any difference to the bastardisation of our language by illiterate yanks), the decimal point, chemical points, pneumatic tyres, colloid chemistry, BUICKS! (did you think they were American? Awwwww, shame!), bakelite, agricultural reaping machine.

Whew! And that isn't anywhere near to being the exhaustive list, but I think it's clear that Scotland has a lot to do with the progression of technology in the world.

As for a man in a kilt? PPHHHHHWWWWOOOOOAAAARRRR!!!! Ask any woman (any real, red blooded, sane woman), and if she says she doesn't find a big, hairy Scotsman in a kilt attractive, call her a liar! Lol! I don't think any of the "men" on here would get that reaction though - the kilt can only be worn by a MAN. And at that, one who is confident in his own masculinity, not some namby pamby, who gets his panties in a twist at the thought that someone might discover, oops! I mean think, that you're, oops again!, I mean, he's gay.

In other words, just incase the syntax there was too complicated for you, methinks thou doth protesteth too much.

And I love God, by the way. I speak to Her every day. And just for the record, I think maybe she has a little crush on oor Billy. And She definitely gets his sense of humour. Maybe it's because She's a Scot as well!

And she's noticed that your jealousy is showing. But then, I can hardly blame you. If I were any of you, I'd be jealous of the Scottish people as well.

Oh, I almost forgot, she told me to tell you to go to hell.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by Denny the Mick

[...]Anyway, we'll start with the discovery of penicillin, which has saved more lives than were lost in all of the wars throughout history (no other countrys invention has saved as many lives), and without which people would still be dying of the most basic illnesses. Antisepsis, without which basic bacterial infections would still kill and maim, and most people would die post operatively, that is if they didn't die of the pain during the operation, as you would still be having to bite down on leather belts without the invention of anaesthetic, also by a Scot.

[...]

Penicillin, quinine, cure for scurvy, antisepsis, anaesthetic, adhesive postage stamps, radar defence system, telephones, television, refridgerators, steam engine, iron bridges, macadamised roads, microwave oven, THE UNITED STATES NAVY! (ooh! I couldn't wait to tell you about that one, bet you didn't know that!), polarization of light, paleobiology, breech loading rifle (which helped us wipe the floor with the yanky army during the battle of brandywine in1777), sociology, tubular steel, the telegraph, thermos bottles, sulphuric acid, the steam hammer, logarithms, THE UNITES STATES NAVY! (oh, I already said that. Ah well), the kelvin scale, hypodermic syringes, Hallow'een, geosciences, flailing machines, fax machines, Encyclopaedia Britannica (although it hasn't made any difference to the bastardisation of our language by illiterate yanks), the decimal point, chemical points, pneumatic tyres, colloid chemistry, BUICKS! (did you think they were American? Awwwww, shame!), bakelite, agricultural reaping machine.

[...]

OK, that's what you Scotch did when Teddy Roosevelt was a lad, 150 years ago, since then you've given the world the fried candy bar, set new records for Buckfast wine consumption, and maintained a legendary meanness.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Denny the Mick

... mindless rambling about Scotland ... Oh, I almost forgot, she told me to tell you to go to hell.

So in your first posting in a peaceful Christian forum you wish all of us to go to hell? You clearly had too much of that Scotch whiskey, good stuff by the way. But on topic. It is you who will burn in hell for all eternity. Goodbye!

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

I left Scotland. I think that says a lot.

Do we have any rehabilitation courses available for the likes of myself?
Also, is it alright to continue speaking Lowland Scots Dialect with family and during procreation?

I wish to keep to the straight and narrow path here. (Rather than the High Road or Low Road no matter how bonny the bonny bonny banks of Loch Lomond may be.)

All advice appreciated brethren and sitsern.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean

Do we have any rehabilitation courses available for the likes of myself?

Sure, just read the Bible from cover to cover and live by what it says. And pray to our Savior Jesus Christ.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

Sure, just read the Bible from cover to cover and live by what it says. And pray to our Savior Jesus Christ.

In that case, brother, my rehab has already begun. Thank you.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean

Thank you.

You're most welcome.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean

[...]Also, is it alright to continue speaking Lowland Scots Dialect with family and during procreation?[...]

I find no harm in mentioning, " Doncie faced ye might be, bu’ ye’ve a cuntie fa' ma moudiewart tae mak a dowie an’ forjesket guidman dafflin!" Lalands was created for a purpose at Babel.

[Ilikeobama]

The way you people think is really disturbing. I´m Dutch, but Scotland is my second home and that´s because the Scottish are the nicest people in the world. You people bring a lot of hatred in this world, just because you think some utopian god hates the Scottish, because they wear different clothes than you do! I hope one day you´ll realize how stupid that is.
I wish you a lot more love and wisdom then you have now!

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by Ilikeobama

The way you people think is really disturbing. I´m Dutch, but Scotland is my second home and that´s because the Scottish are the nicest people in the world. You people bring a lot of hatred in this world, just because you think some utopian god hates the Scottish, because they wear different clothes than you do! I hope one day you´ll realize how stupid that is.
I wish you a lot more love and wisdom then you have now!

You are dutch and scottish? A double whammy, sorry friend, but you are never going to make to the pearly gates of heaven.
The dutch promote sodomy, drug consumption and atheistic living. The scotts promote drunken cross dressing. These are all things God hates. These are not just thoughts, these are cold, hard realities. There is no room for dispute. You know this to be true deep in your heart. Stop lying to yourself and turn your life over to Jesus.


YIC
JH

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Ilikeobama

The way you people think is really disturbing.

We don't think, we follow the commands of God! So it is God you are having trouble with, not us.

You people bring a lot of hatred in this world

Actually we bring LOVE to the world. We love you so much that we try to save you from eternal damnation to hell!

I hope one day you´ll realize how stupid that is

I hope you realize how stupid you are before it is too late. Burning in hell is no fun .

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Originally Posted by Ilikeobama

The way you people think is really disturbing. I´m Dutch, but Scotland is my second home and that´s because the Scottish are the nicest people in the world. You people bring a lot of hatred in this world, just because you think some utopian god hates the Scottish, because they wear different clothes than you do! I hope one day you´ll realize how stupid that is.
I wish you a lot more love and wisdom then you have now!

Even for a clog-wearing-red-lighting-hash-and-euthanasia-supporting-windmill-brained-flatlander Phillistine like yourself to deny the evidence of God's loathing for Scotland is dumber than dumb.

Your own liking for Scotland is irrelevant. God hates the place. I should know. I'm Scottish.

[depalma]

Originally Posted by Brother_Percy

Friends,

Only a few days ago I discovered that Scotch people actually have access to the interweb! Yes, here on these Godly Forums we were 'invaded' by one of these ugly, drunk, skirt-wearing, stinky people with rotten black teeth! Needless to say I was shocked!

I had thought that most Scotch still lived in caves, married their sisters (or animals), and had no access to electricity or running water!

So I decided to start this thread, to educate these poor wretches about why God hates them! They may be too drunk or retarded to understand, but let's give it a try...

Reason No 1. Why God Hates Scotland - BILLY CONNOLLY -

Listen to this hippy Mary-worshipper! And he's 'billed' as a comedian? Really?? I find NOTHING funny about mocking and abusing baby Jesus!

Apologies in advance - There were no subtitles available.

WOW! how much more ignorant can you get? you'r the dumbest person on this planet. they live in caves WTF??? oh, and its Scots you idiot not scotch, scotch is an alcoholic drink you idiot.

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by depalma

WOW! how much more ignorant can you get? you'r the dumbest person on this planet. they live in caves WTF??? oh, and its Scots you idiot not scotch, scotch is an alcoholic drink you idiot.

A lot of hate son. God wants to love you, friend, let Him hold you.

[Greg Engott]

Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher

Unfortunately, you decided to become rebels against God, along with the rest of your United Kingdom:

http://www.godhatestheworld.com/unit...overnment.html

"You British Bastards will not have Jesus Christ to rule over you, and think you can issue bans and pass laws to remove God’s word from the landscape. You do greatly err, not knowing the power of God; and, you do that against your own interests. It is a great kindness to have God’s prophets in your land. But, you ungrateful brutes despise knowledge. It is too late for the UK. God Hates You! God’s wrath and destruction is all that’s left for you, thanks to Secretary Smith. Toodles!


The Parliament of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is the legislative body in this country, and it has parliamentary sovereignty – complete power – over all other political bodies in the U.K. Its head is the Sovereign, Queen Elizabeth, II. That’s right - the exact same Queen Elizabeth, II, who is the head of the Church of England. In theory, she has supreme legislative power; however, in reality, she acts on the advice of the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister from 1997 to 2007 was Tony Blair, who never saw a fag-enabling cause he did not fully support – and convince his Queen to fully support. That is undoubtedly how the Gay Harassment Law of 2007 was passed which will get you 7 years in prison for preaching to or about the fags (called “inciting violence or hatred toward gays and lesbians”).


Heir to the throne, Prince Charles of Wales, will certainly carry on his wicked mother’s tradition of pandering to the fags and any other filthy, vile cause. The famous adulterer (who carried on an affair before the entire country while married to the great whore, Princess Diana) has no authority to do otherwise. The same God who said it was an abomination to be a fag also said “thou shalt not commit adultery”."

May I point out that WBC claim that, not only does God hate the United Kingdom, he also hates America - http://www.godhatesamerica.com/

It would seem that no country is spared God's hatred.

[Seth Campbell]

Originally Posted by Gegengott

May I point out that WBC claim that, not only does God hate the United Kingdom, he also hates America - http://www.godhatesamerica.com/

It would seem that no country is spared God's hatred.

WBC is liberal
http://www.conservapedia.com/Fred_phelps

[JINGO82]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Apparantly they make some sort of scottish ninja movies over there too. Not sure what they're saying here, as I don't speak "obese red hairy animal."

American film??? Retard!!

[ProudScotchman]

After reading through this whole thread, it has done nothing but to further fuel my hatred for Ignorant bastards such as yourselves.

Where do I start, I'll start with the Kilt.

The kilt is not a skirt. The kilt is a length of tartan cloth that is wrapped around your waist and held in place with small leather belts and buckles. It is no different than wrapping a towel around your waist when you exit the shower. So according to your logic, everyone who uses a towel to dry themselves after batheing is a homo. Fair enough.

Case the second: If it were not for the Scots (not Scotch you tools), Then quite simply you would not be here. If it were not for the Scots inventing everything that we had, and not to mention FOUNDING YOUR COUNTRY, you, would not, be here.

Third point: You claim we are all godless, yet our biggest city Glasgow, is divided between Catholics and Prodestants. Nice fail on your part there.

4th: Someone posted some pictures showing off some of the poverty in Glasgow. I'll accept that, we're not perfect, but lets take a moment to look at Americas poverty situation shall we?





Remember, 39.4 Million people in America are below the poverty line.

5th : Go anywhere in the world, Anywhere and ask what peoples opinions on the Scots are. I promise that 100% of the answers will be "The scots are amazing". Ask the same question about America and you will be met with Hostility.

6th : You have the most ass backwards healthcare system in the world. How many Americans are suffering and dying because they cant get access to decent healthcare? Its retarded, and its all part of this ridiculous "American Dream" shit some genius thought up.

7th : Columbine, Virginia Tech, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Charles Manson, nuff said.

I think thats enough about how bad your country is in comparison to Scotland. Time to move onto your religion.

I myself am A devout Pastafarian. I believe that all things we see were created by a Flying Spagetti Monster. And that he sent his son down to Earth to teach us, and die for our sins. Prove me wrong.

Also, I'll leave you with this to ponder over: