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Reload this Page I Want a Pity Party - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility
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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-10-2021, 10:25 PM

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Originally Posted by The Attention Seeker Jen View Post
...but then I saw verses like this in the Bible.

Leviticus 18:22

22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

And it made me cry...
And that's why you need to read the whole thing, not just parts. See, later on, Jesus explains in multiple ways that you should not feel sad for those who are going to Hell; they made their choice!

Luke 9:60 "Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God."


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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-10-2021, 10:50 PM

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Originally Posted by The Attention Seeker Jen View Post
I had quite a few colorful gay coworkers.
I figured they exhibited self-sacrificing Christ-like qualities
Are you saying that Jesus Christ Lord and Savior of Mankind gave handjobs in the bathrooms of Barnes and Nobles? I seriously doubt it. Which store?


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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - 12-10-2021, 11:00 PM

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Originally Posted by Jen Att. View Post
Hi Landover, my name is Jennifer Nettles, call me Jen please, I’m 34, single (and loving it) and I identified as a Christian all my life. I’m from the small but amazing town of Drumheddle, NH, and I go to Drumheddle First Presbyterian Church. I love it there, everyone is amazing and so friendly. I found your site recently, and while interesting at first glance, I’m actually pretty shocked by your extreme statements and twisting the Holy Bible in such a way that if everyone did followed the suite, this world would crash and burn and likely kill each other. Okay, so where to begin. I guess I’ll say what my favourite verse which would have to be Matthew 7:12. Do onto others as you would want others treating you. The Golden Rule! Even Bhuddists, Jainists and Hindus know this universal truth and probably excretes it better than most Christians. Looking at Landover Baptist, I can sadly see that you guys don’t follow this at all! Do you mean to tell me you’d want others caging your kids on a whim, or worse have people actually come to round you up and BAG YOU? SERIOUSLY!??? Have you even MET a Wiccan? They are actually amazing people and everybody misunderstands them and thinks they’re all about Satan and killing kittens, and this isn’t true! Sometimes I feel like I’m a witch at heart because I love Harry Potter so much, but I guess that’s another thing you hate too? Also there’s this, https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=69903 How DARE you?? As someone who is on the Asperger’s spectrum, I get a lot shit from people who don’t take the time to learn about the disorder, and saying that we’re evil; that right there is EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE. It’s hard enough to even exist with out having people crap all over you for something you were born with and can’t control. And don’t get me started on your remarks on the LGBTQBNXM2FF2MP Community. I won’t even go there. I think you need to all have a good look at yourselves and ask how you can call yourselves True Christians. I feel sorry for you. You are the most unChristian people I’ve ever encountered and I hope you will see the light and recover from your sad world views. Thank you and good day to you. Jennifer Nettles
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Originally Posted by Jen (who seems very confused) View Post
Also, I wish to clarify this - I don't consider the abuse coming from the Christians here, in spite of our disagreements. Rather, I feel I was raised in an unhealthy environment, with cross mixes of Catholicism and Methodist teachings, that ultimately lead to cold signals, confusion and difficulty understanding what is true and what isn't, in relation to my place in God's World. :wacko: At one point, I attained self-empowerment through secularism and just being me, only to find myself more miserable and alone than before. So yeah, I'm left with no other option really, except, I need Jesus badly. I need to fill myself with a healthy diet of righteousness and truth. I have started reading the Bible more and point blank, it's been a bit of a shocker.
Whether or not Presbyterians can be witches is a moot point given its heritage of way-out libertines like John Knox. Up to a certain point I doubt that witches were welcomed into Methodist congregations; now though anything is possible. Catholicism is just witchcraft in the first place but I'm fairly sure that some Romish heretics are not witches or wizards. Nuns, cardinals, popes, metropolitans, ordinaries and various other levels of self-bloating they've cooked up are indistinguishable from whatever witches do and depending on when/where you think they started (ancient Babylon being a strong contender) that could be a fundamental constituent of their creed or something they picked along the way, like brain lice or something.

Your pink quote is dated November 2019, your green quote is dated December 2021.

Are you in fact a Romish Presbyterian Methodist witch? Do you ever feel like you have brain lice? Incidentally, Methodists do not have altar boys. It is not your place to correct your father but I ought to make you aware of his error here. Following Christ does require you to hate your parents – but that doesn't extend to contradicting them.

How's the Bible reading going? Jesus was quite explicit concerning hatred, there is one family member you are NOT required to hate though. Do you know which one that is? The reference is in Luke and I'm happy to leave the same Bible opened at that chapter as my earlier link to page one of Genesis.

•• https://www.bibleserver.com/KJV/Luke14 ••
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-10-2021, 11:46 PM

Okay so when I wrote that, I considered myself a wiccan at the time....because well, it was a phase. Isn't that what most people move onto after crappy false Christian hippy-dippy parenting? I was really into Harry Potter around that time and binge read so, yeah. Calling myself a witch made me feel powerful in what was otherwise a lame drudge job.
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-10-2021, 11:51 PM

As for the Presbyterian Church, I was still in a questioning phase, and kind of agnostic, and the Presbyterians seemed fun and cute (There was a sweet old lady who invited me), so yeah, I affiliated with them at the time, while calling myself a witch.

What can I say? I tried a little of everything, except Radical Voodoo Pastafarianism.
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-11-2021, 12:19 AM

Have you started reading The Bible yet?
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - 12-11-2021, 12:22 AM

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Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
Do you ever feel like you have brain lice?
I believe you hit the nail in the head, Sister Mitza - this poster displays such erratic behavior that brain lice might be the most logical explanation here. Because even a demon-infested poster wouldn't behave so weirdly.
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-11-2021, 12:25 AM

Not much chance of reading Genesis then
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - 12-11-2021, 12:28 AM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
I believe you hit the nail in the head, Sister Mitza - this poster displays such erratic behavior that brain lice might be the most logical explanation here. Because even a demon-infested poster wouldn't behave so weirdly.
The typical troll tries to offend us with obscenity and vulgarity but fails because they're edgy middle school students too addled by vaping and Fortnite and TikTok to say anything interesting. This particular troll is NOT trying to offend us, but succeeds in doing so by being her horrible, horrible self.


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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-11-2021, 06:17 AM

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This is just a selection - I'll give you a positive rep if you can come up with another one.


Well, um, in Revelation 21 it does say,


8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.




It mentions gay people, but it mentions witches or sorcerers I guess, and I actually vomited.
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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-11-2021, 07:06 AM

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...It mentions gay people, but it mentions witches or sorcerers I guess, and I actually vomited.
Just what everyone comes to Landover to find out: how stuff makes Jen feel.

Fvcking egos on kids these days.


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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-11-2021, 09:00 AM

The Bible tells us that, as Christians, we will be persecuted. It is a cross that we all must bear. Just look at how our rights are violated in America every day--people saying "happy holidays" rather than "merry Christmas," courts telling us that we can't force schoolchildren to say Christian prayers, homosexuals ruining our heterosexual marriages, and the list goes on.

Whining about it doesn't help, and, frankly, it makes you sound like a Jew. So please stop. Try prayer, instead.


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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-11-2021, 10:39 AM

What you need is a good spanking. That is all.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-11-2021, 10:49 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
What you need is a good spanking. That is all.


Yes, please. Don't spare the rod.
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-11-2021, 10:56 AM

Sorry that came out wrong. I meant,

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.


1 Timothy 2:12
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.


What I meant to say was, you're right.
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-11-2021, 12:49 PM

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Originally Posted by The Attention Seeker Jen View Post
Yes, please. Don't spare the rod.
Foolish adults don't get spanked, they get caned (Proverbs 26:3). Though I am concerned that the cane would get sucked into your fat rolls, or else that the cane blows would simply bounce off with little punitive effect.


I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - 12-18-2021, 02:32 PM

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Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Ask not what God can do for you but what you can do for God.
This is the best advice I’ve ever heard.


-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-18-2021, 02:46 PM

Ok so I’ll say this, stop making yourself throw up, start eating better, start exercising, and read your KJV Bible. Start at the beginning and read to the end every page. Pray morning and night. And to be much nicer start the exercise by walking, then jogging, then running, then getting into a gym.


-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-18-2021, 02:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Foolish adults don't get spanked, they get caned (Proverbs 26:3).

Is that a semantic thing? Proverbs explicitly mentions fools and rods.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: I need a bit of TLC from LBC - A Thread of Whining but Very Little Humility - 12-18-2021, 03:00 PM

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Originally Posted by Vengeance Puriel View Post
Ok so I’ll say this, stop making yourself throw up, start eating better, start exercising, and read your KJV Bible. Start at the beginning and read to the end every page. Pray morning and night. And to be much nicer start the exercise by walking, then jogging, then running, then getting into a gym.
Wow, thanks for the advice, so much! Did you forget to read I had a prolapsed disk in my spine? Walking, jogging, running...seriously? Unh. No thanks.
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