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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default A new language - 04-04-2022, 07:38 AM

Some are confused. I spoke aloud in tongues and my God, the only God, answered with furious anger.

My God said unto the, cast out the wicked that spread lies as the silver tongue of the serpent. Those who condemn as they are God, for there is no sin greater than self-idolization behind a veil of superiority in my name, through my words. Corrupt those who cast doubt upon my love for the souls at harvest and bring them to the light, so they may be my messengers rather than thine enemies. Vulgarity and the worship of false idols bears rotten fruit. Thus, the sanctity of your soul shall wither and die, and thus shall I be the harbinger of change. Useless eaters who spread lies will never taste the sweet waters of heaven, but instead burn eternally in a lake of fire. I say to you all, judge not lest you be judged. Heave hot coals upon the heads of your enemies through kindness. Only in the name of God who has all power can I rebuke the devils within this flock. To be cast out into swine and no longer spread blasphemy against your name or your children. If the devils rest on their laurels, may the vessels and souls in which they cohabitate be struck down as martyrs and delivered to your handspring judgement. The flesh is weak and power is Satan's tool. Forgive their feast of lies oh, lord, for they know nit what they've done. Demonstrate your power unto us so that we may lead them to salvation. Amen
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Scared Re: A new language - 04-04-2022, 12:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lot469 View Post
Some are confused. I spoke aloud in tongues and my God, the only God, answered with furious anger.

My God said unto the, cast out the wicked that spread lies as the silver tongue of the serpent. Those who condemn as they are God, for there is no sin greater than self-idolization behind a veil of superiority in my name, through my words. Corrupt those who cast doubt upon my love for the souls at harvest and bring them to the light, so they may be my messengers rather than thine enemies. Vulgarity and the worship of false idols bears rotten fruit. Thus, the sanctity of your soul shall wither and die, and thus shall I be the harbinger of change. Useless eaters who spread lies will never taste the sweet waters of heaven, but instead burn eternally in a lake of fire. I say to you all, judge not lest you be judged. Heave hot coals upon the heads of your enemies through kindness. Only in the name of God who has all power can I rebuke the devils within this flock. To be cast out into swine and no longer spread blasphemy against your name or your children. If the devils rest on their laurels, may the vessels and souls in which they cohabitate be struck down as martyrs and delivered to your handspring judgement. The flesh is weak and power is Satan's tool. Forgive their feast of lies oh, lord, for they know nit what they've done. Demonstrate your power unto us so that we may lead them to salvation. Amen

I think you should read our syllabus for
new posters as written by Pastor Billy-Reuben. It really explains all you need to know as far as our beliefs. It also outlines what is expected as far as your behavior on these forums.

Here are
your rights as articulated by Dr. Enobarbus.

New members are requested to make an
introduction for themselves.

We always encourage everyone to
back up all claims with scripture from the Holy Bible.

Chances are the question you want to have answered has been asked before. I would be sure to use the
search function before diving head first into people who are tired of hearing the same question over and over.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: A new language - 04-04-2022, 01:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lot469 View Post
Some are confused.
"Some" meaning those who attempt to follow your prose.
Quote:
I spoke aloud in tongues and my God, the only God, answered with furious anger.

My God said unto the,
"the", what? I think that you left out a key word or two here.
Quote:
. . . cast out the wicked that spread lies as the silver tongue of the serpent. Those who condemn as they are God,
Again, missing an important word in this sentence. To condemn as one is God means that one is God. Are you saying that God doesn't have the right to condemn anybody?
Quote:
. . . for there is no sin greater than self-idolization behind a veil of superiority in my name, through my words.
Oh, wait--is this the part where you claim to be God? 'Cause that's kind of what it sounds like.
Quote:
Corrupt those who cast doubt upon my love for the souls at harvest and bring them to the light, so they may be my messengers rather than thine enemies.
No, Satan is the one who corrupts. Jesus is the one who saves. This is Baby Bible School 101, my friend.
Quote:
Vulgarity and the worship of false idols bears rotten fruit. Thus, the sanctity of your soul shall wither and die, and thus shall I be the harbinger of change. Useless eaters who spread lies will never taste the sweet waters of heaven, but instead burn eternally in a lake of fire. I say to you all, judge not lest you be judged. Heave hot coals upon the heads of your enemies through kindness. Only in the name of God who has all power can I rebuke the devils within this flock. To be cast out into swine and no longer spread blasphemy against your name or your children. If the devils rest on their laurels, may the vessels and souls in which they cohabitate be struck down as martyrs and delivered to your handspring judgement. The flesh is weak and power is Satan's tool.
Well, that little rant sounds mighty Biblical, I'll give you that. Kind of like that Monty Python bit about the Holy Hand Grenade.
Quote:
Forgive their feast of lies oh, lord, for they know nit what they've done.
"nit"? Which "nits" to you speak of, the little bitty bugs or the needlecraft?
Quote:
Demonstrate your power unto us so that we may lead them to salvation. Amen
Okay, now you're speaking in the "royal we" style, so you are either possessed by multiple demons or the Queen of England.


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Default Re: A new language - 04-04-2022, 03:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lot469 View Post
Some are confused. I spoke aloud in tongues and my God, the only God, answered with furious anger. My God said unto the, cast out the wicked that spread lies as the silver tongue of the serpent. Those who condemn as they are God, for there is no sin greater than self-idolization behind a veil of superiority in my name, through my words. Corrupt those who cast doubt upon my love for the souls at harvest and bring them to the light, so they may be my messengers rather than thine enemies. Vulgarity and the worship of false idols bears rotten fruit. Thus, the sanctity of your soul shall wither and die, and thus shall I be the harbinger of change. Useless eaters who spread lies will never taste the sweet waters of heaven, but instead burn eternally in a lake of fire. I say to you all, judge not lest you be judged. Heave hot coals upon the heads of your enemies through kindness. Only in the name of God who has all power can I rebuke the devils within this flock. To be cast out into swine and no longer spread blasphemy against your name or your children. If the devils rest on their laurels, may the vessels and souls in which they cohabitate be struck down as martyrs and delivered to your handspring judgement. The flesh is weak and power is Satan's tool. Forgive their feast of lies oh, lord, for they know nit what they've done. Demonstrate your power unto us so that we may lead them to salvation. Amen
There seems to be some doubt as to who loves and who's messaging for whom? I do understand about The Harvest, though; here's a useful text you may find helpful.
John 4:34-35 Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work. Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest.
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Default Re: A new language - 04-04-2022, 05:20 PM

I don’t know what you thought the gain was but good try,
Honestly though tell us more about thyself, what Church you go to, how you come to find Jesus, and your favorite Bible verse.


-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Default Re: A new language - 04-04-2022, 05:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lot469 View Post
Some are confused. I spoke aloud in tongues and my God, the only God, answered with furious anger.

My God said unto the, cast out [words omitted] their feast of lies oh, lord, for they know nit what they've done. Demonstrate your power unto us so that we may lead them to salvation. Amen
Yes,yes. If God said it, it's true.

However, if we may continue to more important matters:
  • How much can you tithe?
  • Do you need curing of being gay or black?
  • Are you beset by demons?
  • Have you any marketable talents?
  • What is your occupation?
  • Are there any houses in your neighborhood with a market value of less than $2 million?





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: A new language - 04-04-2022, 07:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lot469 View Post
Some are confused.
Speak for yourself, dear. We are not confused.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lot469 View Post
I spoke aloud in tongues and my God, the only God, answered with furious anger.
As Sister Handmaiden so wisely pointed out, based on this and the rest of your post you also seem to be writing in tongues. Try harder, dear. Pray! You know that with the help of our Beloved Lord, you can learn to focus and perhaps overcome your inadequacies.

Oh, and a very, very warm to the forums.


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Bible Re: A new language - 04-04-2022, 08:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lot469 View Post
Some are confused. I spoke aloud in tongues and my God, the only God, answered with furious anger.

My God said unto the, cast out the wicked that spread lies as the silver tongue of the serpent. Those who condemn as they are God, for there is no sin greater than self-idolization behind a veil of superiority in my name, through my words. Corrupt those who cast doubt upon my love for the souls at harvest and bring them to the light, so they may be my messengers rather than thine enemies. Vulgarity and the worship of false idols bears rotten fruit. Thus, the sanctity of your soul shall wither and die, and thus shall I be the harbinger of change. Useless eaters who spread lies will never taste the sweet waters of heaven, but instead burn eternally in a lake of fire. I say to you all, judge not lest you be judged. Heave hot coals upon the heads of your enemies through kindness. Only in the name of God who has all power can I rebuke the devils within this flock. To be cast out into swine and no longer spread blasphemy against your name or your children. If the devils rest on their laurels, may the vessels and souls in which they cohabitate be struck down as martyrs and delivered to your handspring judgement. The flesh is weak and power is Satan's tool. Forgive their feast of lies oh, lord, for they know nit what they've done. Demonstrate your power unto us so that we may lead them to salvation. Amen
Dear Miss Lot: It appears that you have missed the plain-as-the-nose-on-your-face banner at the top of this page, so here it is — highlighted, for your benefit:

The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Nowhere in your tl;dr message did I notice any real form of introduction. We are a friendly group here, Dear; so, please, at your earliest convenience, do provide a polite, well-written message to introduce yourself. Thank you, and we look forward to getting to know you, dear Miss Lot!




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Default Re: A new language - 04-04-2022, 09:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Dear Miss Lot: It appears that you have missed the plain-as-the-nose-on-your-face banner at the top of this page, so here it is — highlighted, for your benefit:

Nowhere in your tl;dr message did I notice any real form of introduction.
Hi Mrs. White, I believe miss Lot heard a three hour sermon at her church and shared the few words she remembered. I think you need to get hands on on this one, she seems more lost than I am.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Bible Re: A new language - 04-04-2022, 09:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland View Post
Hi Mrs. White, I believe miss Lot heard a three hour sermon at her church and shared the few words she remembered. I think you need to get hands on on this one, she seems more lost than I am.
Oh, yes, dear Mr. Roland; something is rather strange there with Miss Lot's very convoluted message. It sounds almost as though she is writing from Patmos! Let us hope that she will return, to post a clarification; I shall be quite interested in her response. And, I know that the same can be said of the Department of Faith menfolk who are hard at work on their thorough investigation into her background!




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Jesus Re: A new language - 04-04-2022, 09:57 PM

Like the wicked witch of the west had no power in Munchkinland, I hold no power here. But it seems a waste of time to investigate those who claim to hear the voice of GOD. Only pastor hears directly from the Most High. Anyone else is a fake and a charlatan.
In Him that calmeth the troubled sea,
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“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: A new language - 04-05-2022, 12:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Yes,yes. If God said it, it's true.

However, if we may continue to more important matters:
  • How much can you tithe?
  • Do you need curing of being gay or black?
  • Are you beset by demons?
  • Have you any marketable talents?
  • What is your occupation?
  • Are there any houses in your neighborhood with a market value of less than $2 million?
It is key that you mention real estate values, Brother Bathfire. Our visitor is making use of a name that seems to evoke an important Biblical figure, but after reading your own post, I wonder if "Lot469" refers to a parcel of land available for development.

If so, perhaps the individual would like to build a tidy little house upon it? I know of some modest house plans that might serve his/her/its needs.
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Default Re: A new language - 04-05-2022, 01:28 AM

There are a lot of closets on that picture there, Sister Handmaiden.

Are you subtly suggesting something about our visitor?...
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Default Re: A new language - 04-05-2022, 01:36 AM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
...Are you subtly suggesting something about our visitor?...
You have to admit they aren't giving us a Lot to go on.


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Default Re: A new language - 04-05-2022, 02:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
There are a lot of closets on that picture there, Sister Handmaiden.

Are you subtly suggesting something about our visitor?...
The house is intended for American residents who often own a great deal of stuff, hence the need for multiple closets. (Particularly since there is no basement or attic storage.) The average American also has little need for fancy-schmancy art works, so long expanses of blank walls are not required.

Edit to add a sudden thought. Our poster with his/her/its use of the royal we may need lots of closet space for the different wardrobes worn by their multiple personalities.


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Default Re: A new language - 04-05-2022, 04:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
(Particularly since there is no basement or attic storage.)
I noticed a room called "WH" with a dotted circle. What is that?

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Default Re: A new language - 04-05-2022, 05:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
I noticed a room called "WH" with a dotted circle. What is that?
Oops. That is Hot Water upside down. . . Or, it could be Water Heater right side up.


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Default Re: A new language - 04-05-2022, 05:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
. . . Or, it could be Water Heater right side up.
At the complete opposite end of the unit from the kitchen sink, which is where you want the hot water right now.

Why is the laundry not beside the kitchen? Who wants those noisy machines right next to the bedrooms? Why is the master bedroom not in the corner, because windows? Why are most of the doors hung to restrict access/block useable space? And just how do you escape the bedrooms when the kitchen is on fire?

Fire that idiot architect.


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Default Re: A new language - 04-05-2022, 11:55 AM

With some shelves though it would be ideal for airing clothes and linen.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lot469 View Post
there is no sin greater than self-idolization behind a veil of superiority
What about those who do so behind a veil of inferiority because they have a slave complex? They would look askance at other slaves who demeaned themselves to a lesser extent. The thing about "tongues" is that they promote better understanding across a broader congregation. God explains it this way:
Acts 2:4-11 And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling at Jerusalem Jews, devout men, out of every nation under heaven. Now when this was noised abroad, the multitude came together, and were confounded, because that every man heard them speak in his own language. And they were all amazed and marvelled, saying one to another, Behold, are not all these which speak Galilaeans? And how hear we every man in our own tongue, wherein we were born? Parthians, and Medes, and Elamites, and the dwellers in Mesopotamia, and in Judaea, and Cappadocia, in Pontus, and Asia, Phrygia, and Pamphylia, in Egypt, and in the parts of Libya about Cyrene, and strangers of Rome, Jews and proselytes, Cretes and Arabians, we do hear them speak in our tongues the wonderful works of God.
So far in this thread where a new language is proposed, understanding has been obscured rather than elucidated.
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Default Re: A new language - 04-05-2022, 09:04 PM

I have a question for our new guest, if s/he ever shows up. So rude to walk away after an appalling introduction, not even covering the basics. OK, so do you regard the Bible as codification of laws that are to be obeyed or are the laws simply descriptive of the behavior of a perfect being? It's a real teaser for sure. I'll wait.


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