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Reload this Page POLL: The Worst False Religion?
False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!

View Poll Results: What's the WORST False Religion?
Mary worshipping Cathylics 1,661 6.51%
Penny Pinching Bagel Meisters (who killed Jesus) 2,544 9.97%
Babbling Boodists and Hindoos 871 3.42%
Non-Baptist Christians of liberal persuasion 1,577 6.18%
Wiccas, Goths, Vampires, and other Devil Worshippers 5,204 20.40%
Moon-worshipping terrorist Mooselimbs 2,852 11.18%
Kill 'em all. The Lord knows His own. 4,556 17.86%
Harekrishnas and/or Jehosafats 1,205 4.72%
Self Proclaimed Psychologists 263 1.03%
Peak Oil / Emo Economics 238 0.93%
Obamaism (He ain't my Messiah) 1,776 6.96%
Spaghetti-worshiping fools 1,919 7.52%
Xenu Freak, couch jumping, Scientologists. 830 3.25%
Magic-undie-wearing LSD cultists 9 0.04%
Voters: 25505. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion? - 12-02-2006, 12:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Da--I mean golly
Did you just have to restrain yourself from calling Pastor Al "Daddy?" I know it's a tempting idea, and easy to imagine, but you should only be calling Your Father in Heaven that, not Poppa - I mean Pastor Pistle!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa
Surely He doesn't want me to go to school and to the night club in the same pair of shoes. I would be shaming him.
As has been pointed out, you don't need to waste your money on frivolities like night clubs in the first place. Rather than chowing down on disco biscuits and then standing around till an obscene hour of the morning drinking overpriced gin and being pummelled by pounding pounding techno beatz, why not just gobble down a fistful of black bombers and then stay up to 5 in the morning studying the Book of Kings? Of course, ultimately we'd prefer that you give up the drug habit altogether, but if you could just redirect your chemically induced energies towards slightly more Godly ends, it'd be a good start.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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