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Default Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-20-2011, 03:54 PM

The biggest hoax ever!
The biggest lie created by democrats is that smoking would be bad for you. This lie has been repeated over and over till we reached the point where almost everyone is now believing this blatant lie. It's clearly time to set the record straight and to free all smokers in the world for being prosecuted by the biggest lie in the history of mankind. This "smoking is bad" hoax has already cost over $400,000,000,000 in taxes and settlements. In comparison, the Moon landing hoax only cost us $25,400,000,000. Stopping this nonsense would cut or entire deficit in half!

God wants us to smoke!
The indisputable proof for this is in the Holy Bible. In Genesis 1:29 we are told that God gave us every herb on the planet, including tobacco: "... I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth..." In Romans 14:2 God makes clear these herbs are not for eating: "... who is weak, eateth herbs." So God explicitly gave us tobacco and also tells us we should not eat it. This clearly means we have to smoke it!

According to God, smoking is NOT bad for you health!
God clearly forbids excessive drinkin
g: Ephesians 5:18 "And be not drunk ..." If these lying democrats would be right in their claim that smoking is much worse for us that drinking, don't you think our Almighty Creator would have mentioned this in the Holy Bible? Since the Bible doesn't mention the dangers of smoking at all, while it warns us about a lot of other dangers, there can be only one conclusion: According to God, smoking is not bad for us!

But don't people die every day due to smoking?
Of course not. If smoking would actually kill people everyone smoking would die young. Many people have gotten over 90 while smoking so smoking clearly does not kill people. Everyone knows countries where people die young are also countries where almost no one smokes. E.g. countries like Angola, Liberia, Afghanistan and Niger. So clearly smoking reduces your chances of dying young instead of increasing them.

But doesn't science prove smoking is bad?
Quite the opposite. There is scientific proof that democrats conveniently ignore. Scientific statistics prove smoking increases life expectancy! In Japan people smoke 2600 cigarettes per capita, in China people smoke 1320 cigarettes per capita. Yet in Japan the life expectancy is the highest of the world at 82.6 while in China it is 73.0. So smoking twice as much increases their life expectancy with almost 10 years!

But why would democrats lie to us about this?
The "smoking is bad" lie was created by democrats to make us pay insanely high taxes. Just recently Obama abused the "smoking is bad" lie to put ridiculous amounts of money into a health care system based on lies, lies and then some more lies. The "smoking is bad" lie has been used for decades by lazy democrats to put hard working republicans out of business.

Smoking is how Jesus Christ creates His halo:


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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

Last edited by Cranky Old Man; 02-21-2011 at 01:36 AM. Reason: Typo
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-20-2011, 05:12 PM

Brother Cranky, I am ashamed to admit that I was duped into giving up tobacco several years ago. I allowed my heathen coworkers and various non-Fox stations (subsequently blocked, by the way) to cloud my judgment.



But, after reading your brilliantly-researched investigative post, I went across the street and bought a carton of Marlboros, and I am now happily smoking my first cigarette in 12 years!!!



In order to properly introduce my 4 children to the wonders of this God-given plant, I am having them sit right next to me as I vigorously blow plumes of sweet, sweet tobacco smoke in their direction. They seem to be enjoying it, as they are waving their hands about in praise!



Sadly, because of lieberal secular laws I cannot allow them to participate for several more years, but when the time comes, they will all be receiving cartons of their own.

YiC,

The Vicar


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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-20-2011, 05:21 PM

People can't stop smoking because God wants them to smoke!
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-20-2011, 09:33 PM

Amen Brother! I smoke two packs of cigarettes a day, and I'm perfectly fine! In fact, whenever I don't have a cigarette I feel horrible, so it must be good for me!

Also ladies, I've found that smoking really helps me keep from overeating and keep my figure without wasting time exercising. This gives me time to focus on things that are truly spiritually profitable, like keeping a good household and studying the Bible, instead of bodily exercise which only profiteth little.

"For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come."
1 Timothy 4:8


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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-20-2011, 10:50 PM

This whole "stop smoking" campaign is just another example of how communists are trying to take over America. The hate our freedoms. They want to criminalize everything.

Me? I'm a proud member of Christian Pipe Smokers. My fiancee loves the way I smell.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-20-2011, 11:06 PM

This is a wonderful thread, brother Cranky. How can smoking be a bad thing since God himself appears to be a chain smoker?

Psalm 18:8 There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it.

Job 41:20 Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron.

2 Samuel 22:9 There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it.
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-20-2011, 11:25 PM

AMEN! If God thought tobacco was bad, He would've said so in the Bible.

Many of us True Christians™ have our own particular favorite way of smoking. Pastor Zeke and Old Man Hatchet like to relax by taking some puffs off a pipe. I can usually be seen lighting up a nice Cuban after Sunday Services. Lycia never goes anywhere without her Marlboro Light 100s. And Vavoline Johnson's nephew, DeShawn smokes those grape-flavored "swisher sweets" or whatever they're called.



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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-21-2011, 01:09 AM

Quote:
God wants us to smoke!
The indisputable proof for this is in the Holy Bible. In Genesis 1:29 we are told that God gave us every herb on the planet, including tobacco: "... I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth..." In Romans 14:2 God makes clear these herbs are not for eating: "... who is weak, eateth herbs." So God explicitly gave us tobacco and also tells us we should not eat it. This clearly means we have to smoke it!
As a devout man of God and a Jew that respects his body as a gift from YHWH, I do not use any drugs whatsoever. But you realize, do you not, that this tacit approval of ingesting herbs would logically extend to marijuana? Did YHWH not create the plant?

And of course smoking methamphetamine should be allowed as well, as it is found naturally synthesized in some Acacia trees. Did YHWH not create the tree?

You Christians.

Shalom


Acts 14:2 But the unbelieving Jews stirred up the Gentiles, and made their minds evil affected against the brethren.
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-21-2011, 01:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by David Rothstein View Post
As a devout man of God and a Jew that respects his body as a gift from YHWH, I do not use any drugs whatsoever. But you realize, do you not, that this tacit approval of ingesting herbs would logically extend to marijuana? Did YHWH not create the plant?
Marijuana and methamphetamine make you drunk, which Ephesians 5:18 clearly forbids.


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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-21-2011, 01:17 AM

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Originally Posted by David Rothstein View Post
As a devout man of God and a Jew that respects his body as a gift from YHWH, I do not use any drugs whatsoever. But you realize, do you not, that this tacit approval of ingesting herbs would logically extend to marijuana? Did YHWH not create the plant?

And of course smoking methamphetamine should be allowed as well, as it is found naturally synthesized in some Acacia trees. Did YHWH not create the tree?

You Christians.

Shalom
You're comparing apples and oranges here, Hymie. Tobacco is perfectly legal and good for you. It's even endorsed by doctors.




Even a hebe like you should realize that we are commanded by God to obey secular laws, so the narcotics you are endorsing would be out of the question. Why don't you advocate for heroin too while you're at it?

Leave it to a joo to step in a try and confuse things.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-21-2011, 02:23 AM

Smoking in HELL will be bad for your health!





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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-22-2011, 10:42 PM

Wouldn't that suggest that we smoke everything we can't eat?

I've never tried smoking poison ivy, but I doubt it would be good for me.
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-22-2011, 11:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksevio View Post
Wouldn't that suggest that we smoke everything we can't eat?

I've never tried smoking poison ivy, but I doubt it would be good for me.

When you said that...the only thing I thought of was having your ribs/lungs itch...talk about an itch you can't reach huh?
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-23-2011, 12:34 AM

At one time smoking cigarettes was considered a positive child rearing tool. It sure beats mom loading up on sedatives.
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1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-23-2011, 03:41 AM

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Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
At one time smoking cigarettes was considered a positive child rearing tool. It sure beats mom loading up on sedatives.
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-23-2011, 04:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Dancer View Post
never would have thought
Dear Brainless Twat,

It's not too late to TRY! Give Jesus a chuckle. Just TRY to think a little.

Yours in Him,
BAB <----- God's emergency contact
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-23-2011, 04:34 AM

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Originally Posted by Born Again Bob View Post
Dear Brainless Twat,

It's not too late to TRY! Give Jesus a chuckle. Just TRY to think a little.

Yours in Him,
BAB <----- God's emergency contact
Blaugh, no thank you, I got sick when I was little from being around my dad who smoked, and I promised myself I will NEVER try it, I can't stand the smell, it plugs up my noes and makes it hard for me to breath
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-23-2011, 04:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Dancer View Post
it plugs up my noes and makes it hard for me to breath
Dear Friend,

In many ways we're alike. I'd also like to plug up your nose and make it hard for you to breathe. Ah, my old friend tobacco.

Yours in Him,
BAB <----- LSMFT
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-23-2011, 04:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Born Again Bob View Post
Dear Friend,

In many ways we're alike. I'd also like to plug up your nose and make it hard for you to breathe. Ah, my old friend tobacco.

Yours in Him,
BAB <----- LSMFT
...Here's a question...what ever did I do to you?
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Default Re: Jesus Christ says: SMOKING is NOT Bad For Your Health! - 02-23-2011, 04:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Dancer View Post
...Here's a question...what ever did I do to you?
Worshiped satan.

Spit in God's face.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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