[Nobar King]

Originally Posted by TinyJay

The last time I touched a Bible it burned my fingers. Does that mean I am evil ?

It means that you are a liar. You have never touched a Bible. Jesus sees thru your lies. You will pay dearly in the end for your insolence.

[TinyJay]

Does he take Visa or just cash ? Money grabbers ya got to love em.
Did you hear the one about the hillbilly girl standing on a corner with a sign that reads" I am saving it for Jesus" .A pot head walks by reads the sign and says he is Jesus ,she does him on the spot.

[Nobar King]

Is that supposed to be funny? That's not even a joke. You are showing signs of pathological unfunny-ness. I have a question for you: did you ever graduate from any grade level in school? My guess is: no. Were you raised by wolves?

[MirthMenace]

Deism
Submitted By: The Enlightenments
Worship: The "dual nature" of Satan.
Trivia Fact: This "religion" was invented by Thomas Jefferson solely as a ploy to keep references to Jesus out of the wicked U.S. Constitution.

I see it was History class that dragged your GPA down, Pastor Billy-Reuben. It's never too late to finish your education, though!

[TinyJay]

Is that supposed to be funny? That's not even a joke. You are showing signs of pathological unfunny-ness. I have a question for you: did you ever graduate from any grade level in school? My guess is: no. Were you raised by wolves?

It was meant to the gullibility of those so wrapped up in religion that they believe any thing anyone says

[Nobar King]

Originally Posted by TinyJay

It was meant to the gullibility of those so wrapped up in religion that they believe any thing anyone says

You would be lucky to find ANYONE who believes ANYTHING that you write.

[TinyJay]

if 50 people tell you a storm is coming and 1 denies it because it is not in the bible whom are you to believe

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by TinyJay

if 50 people tell you a storm is coming and 1 denies it because it is not in the bible whom are you to believe

I believe that you are a God mocking idiot who is about one post away from being banned.

[MirthMenace]

Originally Posted by TinyJay

if 50 people tell you a storm is coming and 1 denies it because it is not in the bible whom are you to believe

You must believe what you are told to believe by the LBC, BigJay. Weather forecasters can only rely on observable, empirical evidence to draw a conclusion that a storm is coming. LBC brass are not thus hamstrung.

[Musika]

All of the arguing in this thread is completely pointless. God is only Almighty Entity whose relationship with us matters. Flirting with false deities is not only danger but impractical. God loves your eternal soul, do you want to spit in his face and say no?!?

I pity you

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

I found a new one, so I added Discordianism to the list.

Discordianism (Disco Accordionists)
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
Definition: Wannabe atheists who pray to a Greek goddess named Eric and think that saying fwords while stroking their penile glands is the way to salvation.
Worship: Eric, the number 23, and Satan.

[Atheist are evil]

Brother you forgot atheist and here in latin america, we have the 666 cult, a group of fags, that worship a gay man who call him self jesus the savior, hes name its Jesus Miranda, He lives in vice city, Miami.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

I finally got around to adding Juggalos the list.

Juggalo Faith
Submitted by: Jenny D
Definition: Drug addicts who believe that not washing ones hair, wearing clown makeup, drinking cheap soda, and buying officially licensed merchandise makes one a ninja, not years of specialized martial arts training.
Worship: Clowns, Faggo, and Satan -- the ringmaster of the Dark Carnival

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben

I finally got around to adding Juggalos the list.

Juggalo Faith
Submitted by: Jenny D
Definition: Drug addicts who believe that not washing ones hair, wearing clown makeup, drinking cheap soda, and buying officially licensed merchandise makes one a ninja, not years of specialized martial arts training.
Worship: Clowns, Faggo, and Satan -- the ringmaster of the Dark Carnival

Don't forget to mention that most of them are queers who solicit anonymous sex in public toilets.

[Flat Lander]

I came here to register the mormon Church of Latter-day Saints.

We are a cult that likes to have fun, and we are as false as all the rest of the churches in the Latter Day Saint tradition, but we have the active policy of following the false traditions of our fathers and seeking all lightmindedness and loud laughter.

I thank the Landover Baptist Church for having this place where we can register as one of the many true "false religions".

[Flat Lander]

Originally Posted by Flat Lander

I came here to register the mormon Church of Latter-day Saints.

We are a cult that likes to have fun, and we are as false as all the rest of the churches in the Latter Day Saint tradition, but we have the active policy of following the false traditions of our fathers and seeking all lightmindedness and loud laughter.

I thank the Landover Baptist Church for having this place where we can register as one of the many true "false religions".

Oops, that was supposed to say mormon Church of Latter-day Saints.

[freebie]

I use to belong to church called the International Church of Christ (ICOC). When looking on the internet I found out that it was considered a cult though I am not surprised with what I experienced. The main thing was what they called discipling, this is when you are assigned a discipler a person who you report to one or more times a week and confess your sins to as well as everything that is going on in your life. They do this so they can have control over you by telling you what the discipler, church leaders, God and their interpretation of bible wants you to do, think and say. They dropped my membership so they could test me to see how committed I was to the church. Needless to say I never went back though I am having trouble finding and committing to a church. I do believe in God and have a hard time with churches.

[Sin boy]

^That sounds wicked creepy, man! I'd imagine that it is a good thing they 'dropped' your membership, and that you failed their test!

By the way, some of these are quite innaccurate in recording; most of them are listed as worshipping Satan, when almost none of them do.

With the exception of SATANists, of course. And even then, not all Satanists worship him at all.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Hitchhikers in the Galaxy
Description: People with no lives who have chanced upon a book and now parrot quotes from that book to explain everything in their dreary existence.
What they worship: The number 42, and Satan.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Various agricultural religions of antiquity
Beliefs: To ensure a good harvest, a deity had to be incarnated in human form every year just to be sacrificed. Adherents never quite got around to explaining why all that was necessary; surely an omnipotent God could ensure a good harvest just by saying, "Let there be a good harvest."
What they worshiped: Crops, the seasons, and Satan.