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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Isabella White's Avatar
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Bible Re: Are you guys Catholic or Christian? - 09-21-2020, 09:23 PM

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Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
I have my suspicions about this lady. I think she is shopping for a lesbian church. Young woman, Landover Baptist is not your church.
Oh, yes; I have a similar hunch, dear Brother Mayor Hold. Something is not adding up here. I think this young lezbean would feel much more comfortable over at one of those heretic places. Goodness knows there is only one , but preachers of perversion are a dime a dozen -- such as this one:



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ChristianNotCatholic ChristianNotCatholic is offline
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Default Re: Are you guys Catholic or Christian? - 09-22-2020, 03:14 AM

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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Do you want to join us or not?
Can I try your church for 30 days, and if I don't like it, leave? If so, where can I apply for a 30 day trial membership to your church?

If not, I'll keep looking to see if I can find another King James Bible practicing church. You know, rather than one that picks and chooses which parts are convenient.
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Default Re: Are you guys Catholic or Christian? - 09-22-2020, 03:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristianNotCatholic View Post
...a 30 day trial membership...
If you think Mistress Cookie in Administration has the time (or talent ) to set up crap like that...





I could only find old photo, sorry. She's a redhead now.


RIP RBG
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Default Re: Are you guys Catholic or Christian? - 09-22-2020, 03:52 AM

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Originally Posted by ChristianNotCatholic View Post
Can I try your church for 30 days, and if I don't like it, leave? If so, where can I apply for a 30 day trial membership to your church?
Dear, it's you who has to prove your devotion to the Holy Bible and Donald Trump in order to be allowed to become a member of our church.

For now you are merely an unsaved trash under investigation. If the investigation brings positive results you might be allowed to start applying for membership in our church (and as you can see in Didymus' post, processing your application will take a while. By the way, another investigation has just started to uncover who leaked that photo to this hellbound atheist).

There isn't anything you can do to accelerate the investigation, but in the meantime, feel free to post and show your love for God, Trump, and America. You can post anywhere your heart desires, you just can't create new threads outside of the Introduction Forum.
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Default Re: Are you guys Catholic or Christian? - 09-22-2020, 04:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristianNotCatholic View Post
Before I introduce myself, I just wanted to ask you guys a few questions, to see if I'm at the right place.
Welcome, CnotC. You're definitely in the right place. The answers to your questions are:

(1) Baptism is the immersion of an adult fully in water, plus, of course, the simultaneous Baptism of the Holy Spirit. And yes, we Baptize in the name of each of the Three Persons of God.

(2) We follow 1 Corinthians 11:28 and eat bread and drink wine when we sup together. And we definitely aren't eating Jesus. We don't even eat Kit Kat bars because they contain wafers (OK, this last part is just a little joke--Kit Kats are delicious).

(3) John 15:26 is clear on this point: when Jesus sends the Holy Spirit to us, the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father.

(4) We acknowledge the Pope as the dress-wearing, Satan worshiping hypocrite that he is.

Like you, I would not have Fellowship with the members of any church that erred on these important doctrinal points. Worry not, for we are no synagogue of Satan.


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Default Re: Are you guys Catholic or Christian? - 09-22-2020, 01:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristianNotCatholic View Post
Can I try your church for 30 days, and if I don't like it, leave? If so, where can I apply for a 30 day trial membership to your church?

If not, I'll keep looking to see if I can find another King James Bible practicing church. You know, rather than one that picks and chooses which parts are convenient.
Perhaps if you said which parts you find inconvenient, we could go on from there? Church membership usually follows on from baptism, not before. Unless there's exceptional circumstances of course.
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Default Re: Are you guys Catholic or Christian? - 09-22-2020, 02:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristianNotCatholic View Post
Can I try your church for 30 days, and if I don't like it, leave? If so, where can I apply for a 30 day trial membership to your church?

If not, I'll keep looking to see if I can find another King James Bible practicing church. You know, rather than one that picks and chooses which parts are convenient.
There IS no other King James Bible practicing church that never, ever, EVER cherry picks the Bible for convenience' sake.

We here at are willing to accept the troublesome reality of child sacrifice, genocide, stoning as capital punishment, the regulation of rape and the hunt for clothing of single fiber fabrics, (which can be very stressful.)

We don't complain about these edicts of The Lord or try to wiggle out of them. We joyously instruct our children on the laudable actions of Abraham who was poised with a knife at his son's throat because God told him to slice the kid open as a sacrifice. Trust me, there is not a child in our congregation who doesn't know that their mom or dad would cut them dead if they received word from on High to do so.

When it comes to genocide, our methods are tempered by the current law of the land--which, as True Christians™ we are commanded to obey.

Romans 13:1
Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers.For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.


At this time in our Great country's history, genocide is sort of a sideways operation, but we are working to elect right-minded people who will change the written law and allow us to more closely follow the Bible's instruction in these matters.

By this I mean that, in many instances, when God commanded His folk to wipe out other folk, the ill-favored masses were put to the sword. In this day and age, we have other weapons available that are more efficient and easier to clean up from afterward.

What matters most is that His people are ready, willing and able to obey God's command in any instance in which they don't have to worry about breaking a secular law. Once God's Law is THE Law, genocide will be restored to its acceptable place in the True Christian™ arsenal.

The Lord really doesn't care that much about the details of our actual arsenal. After all, if He didn't want us to use advanced weaponry, He wouldn't have allowed His followers to accumulate so much of it.

Now, some might use that statement above to argue the validity of using the electric chair or lethal injection as a method of capital punishment. Those people would be wrong. In cases where an individual must be killed for personal violation of God's Law, stoning is the prescribed method.

It doesn't matter if the crime being censured is picking up sticks on the Sabbath or (a woman) losing one's virginity before marriage. God is quite explicit about the stoning part, so other methods are out of the running. Seriously, I dare anyone to find a verse where God commands the use of the electric chair.

The regulation of rape is covered clearly in Deuteronomy and there are no exceptions or provisions for circumstances where rapists cover their victims' mouths. Nor is there any mention of lengthy prison sentences. Those who question God's Word and suggest blanket laws just making rape plain old illegal and punished by imprisonment are the ones who are cherry-picking.

Finally, when it comes to our clothes, we don't mess about with mixed fabrics.

Leviticus 19:19

Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.


Yes, this can be a challenge some days. Finding 100% linen or woolen clothes can take some time. (Cattle are easy. Just keep them locked up and don't let them play around on Tinder.) But God's Word is very clear.

We are told to keep His statutes (and not worship statues) and we know that means ALL of them. There is no place in the Bible where God equivocates. One of the best things about The Lord as a deity is that He is so clear about what He wants.

People who follow other (false) religions have to make all sorts of micro-decisions on a daily basis. That can be exhausting. Obeying Our Lord's every command can be a little tiring at times, but once you start applying His Word consistently, most of the hard part is done for you.

Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.


And The Lord is always there to shore you up. With a promise like that behind us, even genocide without the advantage of modern weapons doesn't seem like that much work.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Messican Re: Are you guys Catholic or Christian? - 09-26-2020, 09:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristianNotCatholic View Post
Before I introduce myself, I just wanted to ask you guys a few questions, to see if I'm at the right place.

1. How does your church perform baptisms? Is it by sprinkling babies like the Catholics do? Or is it by three immersions of adults in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost like Christians do?

2. What kind of bread do you guys use for the Lord's Supper? Is it flat, unleavened wafers like the Catholics use? Or is it a loaf of leavened bread like Christians use?

3. Does your church teach that the Holy Ghost proceeds from the Father and the Son, like the Catholics do? Or from the Father alone, as Christians believe?

4. Do you acknowledge the Pope as the successor of Peter and head of your church, like the Catholics do? Or do you reject papal supremacy as an unbiblical and satanic lie?

Source: http://www.reformation.org/4-deadly-latin-errors.html
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This generation of New York hipster losers really are lazy! Educate yourself please! Before you make a fool out of yourself again!

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Jesus Re: Are you guys Catholic or Christian? - 09-28-2020, 01:11 AM

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Originally Posted by Bootsy Shorty Invertebrate View Post
https://bfy.tw/PBxx

This generation of New York hipster losers really are lazy! Educate yourself please! Before you make a fool out of yourself again!
Oh, my! There you are, dear Miss Bootsy. I was wondering after you the other day, hoping you are well and keeping to your daily studies of the glorious . I'm hoping that you have some inspiring testimonials to share with the servants of Almighty here at . Please, do proceed to inform us of how you are getting on with your daily walk with the . We are more than happy to hear of your progress, Dear!


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Cool Re: Are you guys Catholic or Christian? - 09-28-2020, 08:02 PM

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Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Oh, my! There you are, dear Miss Bootsy. I was wondering after you the other day, hoping you are well and keeping to your daily studies of the glorious . I'm hoping that you have some inspiring testimonials to share with the servants of Almighty here at . Please, do proceed to inform us of how you are getting on with your daily walk with the . We are more than happy to hear of your progress, Dear!


My stroll with the lord has been nothing short of a delight dearest Mrs.White. I have informed my local church as to their wrong doings and hope to be opening eyes to the Lord's truths which are laid out in our holy KJV! All the best!
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