Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!
Reload this Page I hit my wife for the first time
Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#841)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 79,708
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 07-30-2015, 04:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Acts 29 View Post
Okay, I think I can start to see where you got this from except you seem to have completely misunderstood what I wrote. Christ loved the church by dying for her and offering her eternal life, not by suddenly losing his cool and then saying that God made him do it on the internet.
Let me ask you something: Are you a damned papist?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#842)
Old
Mei Saeki Mei Saeki is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Negroe Poster Rides the Short Bus How dumb can you get? Caution - Poster is Crazy Special Snowflake Full of it Thieving Nigra

 
Posts: 97
Join Date: May 2016
Mei Saeki is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Mei Saeki is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Mei Saeki is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Mei Saeki is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Mei Saeki is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Mei Saeki is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 05-11-2016, 03:24 PM

Actually Satan tortured Job, God gave him permission because he knew Job wouldn't turn away from him.
Reply With Quote
(#843)
Old
Redeemed Papist's Avatar
Redeemed Papist Redeemed Papist is offline
Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Friend of Jesus True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator Tell her once Flat Earth Porn Resistant Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Ex-eurotrash True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Punched the most queers Super Soaker Baptism Award TC Bravery True Scientist™ True Heterosexual™ Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Gold Tither Anti-sodomy Hands Off

 
Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 05-11-2016, 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mei Saeki View Post
Actually Satan tortured Job, God gave him permission because he knew Job wouldn't turn away from him.
Isaiah 45:7

7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.
Reply With Quote
(#844)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 10,507
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 05-11-2016, 05:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mei Saeki View Post
Actually Satan tortured Job, God gave him permission because he knew Job wouldn't turn away from him.
Exactly. Apparently, God was bored and decided to make a bet with the Devil - a bet that He already knew He would win because He knows everything.

The cruel death of the entire Job's family (Job 1:18-19), was just a collateral damage resulting from that innocent play that God was having with the Devil. Besides, afterwards God rewarded Job with more children (Job 42:13-15), so the murder of the first batch was perfectly fine.
Reply With Quote
(#845)
Old
BoiCrusher BoiCrusher is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 1
Join Date: Mar 2018
BoiCrusher is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 03-09-2018, 04:59 AM

Amen Brother, put that *** lame attemts to troll removed *** Hope all this helps.


- Boi Crusher
Reply With Quote
(#846)
Old
DolliMoans's Avatar
DolliMoans DolliMoans is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Protected by JESUS Cleanest Kitchen

 
Posts: 456
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Rockford, IL
DolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDolliMoans has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 03-09-2018, 07:13 AM

Crusher, is that you? You wouldn't happen to be my Crusher, are you? Just what do you think you're doing, trolling God's Favourite Forum, young man?
Reply With Quote
(#847)
Old
Bubba Buck's Avatar
Bubba Buck Bubba Buck is offline
Toilet Biter
Forum Member

Flat Earth Porn Resistant Cancer on Society Rides the Short Bus Caution - Poster is Crazy Full of it Perv

 
Posts: 274
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 03-11-2018, 09:48 PM

If I may Dolli, may I drive your son to Crisis Christian Camp personally out in the woods so he can get reformed and right with God again? I promise he will be a good Christian boy. I'm aware of how old he is and how strong he may be, but if he is causing trouble like this and embarrassing you, I want to take it upon myself to drive him to the help he needs. The camp is nowhere that you need to know. Many bad boys and young male adults are sent there to a remote location to have some sense knocked into them by the almighty hands of God himself. I make frequent trips to drop off the troubled youth that cause trouble on my pig ranch when they should be working for me.
Reply With Quote
(#848)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 7,254
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 03-17-2018, 04:59 PM

I hesitate as a Mayor in get involved in the personal lives of Freehold citizens.

I do feel some responsibility, however, to at least minimize violence against wives and children. We know this violence can be kept to a minimum by children obeying the parents and wives obeying their husbands. So I encourage wives and children to avoid being injured by taking precautions. Always listen carefully to what is expected of you and follow through accordingly.

I am so grateful you have elected me as your Mayor and hope this bit of advice is helpful.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
(#849)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 22,504
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 03-17-2018, 05:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
I hesitate as a Mayor in get involved in the personal lives of Freehold citizens.

I do feel some responsibility, however, to at least minimize violence against wives and children. We know this violence can be kept to a minimum by children obeying the parents and wives obeying their husbands. So I encourage wives and children to avoid being injured by taking precautions. Always listen carefully to what is expected of you and follow through accordingly.

I am so grateful you have elected me as your Mayor and hope this bit of advice is helpful.
Very helpful. I feel like today's culture encourages women to seek "equality" and "empowerment," without realizing these are the devil's buzzwords for Sin. A woman's natural place is beside her husband, serving him and supporting him. I can say on behalf of all women that we genuinely, deeply, feel better when we humbly meet our husband's needs, not when seek after our own pleasures of the flesh.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#850)
Old
Arnie Flenderson's Avatar
Arnie Flenderson Arnie Flenderson is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 21
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Jesus' Left Testicle, TX
Arnie Flenderson is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Arnie Flenderson is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 03-24-2018, 09:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck View Post
If I may Dolli, may I drive your son to Crisis Christian Camp personally out in the woods so he can get reformed and right with God again? I promise he will be a good Christian boy. I'm aware of how old he is and how strong he may be, but if he is causing trouble like this and embarrassing you, I want to take it upon myself to drive him to the help he needs. The camp is nowhere that you need to know. Many bad boys and young male adults are sent there to a remote location to have some sense knocked into them by the almighty hands of God himself. I make frequent trips to drop off the troubled youth that cause trouble on my pig ranch when they should be working for me.
I would love it if you could take my disgusting sinner-of-a-son to this camp of yours, it seems wonderful. His name is Isaac Flenderson and since I don't have so much time to devote to his education (as I am busy arming the men of Christ in their struggle against the forces of evil.) he has turned out to be a disgusting little Sodomite brat of a child that needs some disciplining. I'm sure he'll consent as long as I tell him he's going to this "ComicCon" he keeps talking about, or whatever Satanic sect he's joined now. I'm so pleased to find a man like you willing to beat him back onto the right path and make him the God-fearing soldier of Christ he was meant to be!


Praise the LORD!

Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Reply With Quote
(#851)
Old
Diesel Stanford Diesel Stanford is offline
Unsaved trash aka The Flood of Disinformation
 
 
Posts: 128
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Christchurch, Canterbury, New Zealand
Diesel Stanford is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
flag Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 04-05-2018, 09:20 PM

AMEN! So did I today!
Reply With Quote
(#852)
Old
Bubba Buck's Avatar
Bubba Buck Bubba Buck is offline
Toilet Biter
Forum Member

Flat Earth Porn Resistant Cancer on Society Rides the Short Bus Caution - Poster is Crazy Full of it Perv

 
Posts: 274
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 04-06-2018, 02:44 AM

To Arnie, I would definitely be willing to take your son under my wing. I would need you to privately message me pictures of him though to see if he is fit for my needs on my ranch though.

To Diesel, you hit your wife but you haven't really explained why. If it is God's will that you hit your wife then so be it, but if you are hitting your wife to fit in or feel good about yourself, then you have issues my friend.
Reply With Quote
(#853)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility GLORY

 
Posts: 9,004
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 04-06-2018, 05:59 PM

I have always wondered if I should have physically disciplined my (now) ex-wife more before she (then) left me.

I think on balance I’m glad I did not as she quickly chose to be attracted to the same sex sexualism in a sexualised sexualistic manner.

As she is now far stronger than any normal man and might take it into her lesbiopath brain to assault me. The mighty muscles of the lesbian have a similar musculoskeletal aspect of a chimpanzee or gorilla (and is often used by atheioevolutistcialim advocates to suggest chimps and people are related).

But just because lesbians are a strong as a gorilla does not mean they ARE gorillas: that’s just common sense.

As I’m now in the beginnings of a romantic relationship with Magda I will not make the same mistakes of the past.

I have developed a scheme I call Proactive Discipline

This time is more considered, loving and reasonable: I shall begin Proactive Discipline by lovingly undermining her self esteem by lovingly criticising her when she felt any sense of pride or accomplishment.

My current research on my soon to be wife, Magda (who used to be my house keeper so is accustomed to servility) has indicated that good phrases for Proactive Discipline are: "yeah, but you could have done better, couldn't you?", "did you actually think that was good enough?", "for God's sake, I'll do it shall I?" and "why are you crying?."

You see what you may notice is that they are all questions that ask her to justify her thoughts and actions. A Biblical(KJV1611) beating does not HAVE to be physical: just effective.

That's right: I encourage her to ALWAYS seek my approval for everything she thinks or does, EVER. A great way to do this is to imply at every turn that she is NOTHING without me and that NOBODY BUT ME will ever like her.

I gently imply that other people see her for the shallow empty thing that she is (using a healthy confirmation bias that low confidence people always have) and that hey talk about her and judge her (I do my best to chose personality traits of hers she feels worst about) behind her back: and they laugh at her.

To reduce the chance of hateful outsiders trying to break up our Christian love match I’m leaving subtle hints that she has started taking antidepressants (citalopram 40mg is a good choice as you can say she has an anxiety disorder and well as depression) were her family and friends might find them.

When I (unfortunately) have to speak to her ghastly Polish family I constantly make good hearted excuses for her being so quiet so as to foster the idea that she is greatly disturbed and they will gradually start to withdraw their friendship and support (remember, no one likes a mentalist) from her and doubtless she will soon realise this and she will feel more isolated and lonely than ever.

From here I fully intend to reinforce the idea that NOBODY LOVES HER LIKE I DO. This is very important: I must become the centre of her entire world (I can't stress this enough, I really can't).

Eventually I predict that she will become dependent on me and any unavoidable bruises can be dealt with by keeping her inside by saying "she's having a bad day, she missed her meds...". This should also endear me to her friends and I can monitor any nosy parkers from sticking their beaks where they are not wanted.

Well, I’m going to see how this pans out.

Prayers would be appreciated.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Reply With Quote
(#854)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,113
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Prayer Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 04-06-2018, 07:35 PM

Dr Niles,


You know I love you deeply, but from one handsome man to another handsome man, are you thinking of your nephew's reaction to this relationship? What if he lies in bed under your careful surveillance, his youthful mind ensnared by the feelings of abandonment he feels each time you and this Magda person embrace in any sort of embracing fashion? Can you live with that, especially in consideration of your profession? You are to heal, not hurt, man!


I'm not calling you selfish, but it just seems to me there are people out here who would be very sad to see you in the arms of a woman. Remember your first wife remains among the living. Don't be an adulterous breeding animal, Lawrence! Think! Think of those who adore you before you make a mistake that might cut you off from the simple pleasures of life.


And whatever you do, don't get any wine.


BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#855)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 22,504
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 04-06-2018, 11:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
As I’m now in the beginnings of a romantic relationship with Magda I will not make the same mistakes of the past.

I have developed a scheme I call Proactive Discipline

....

Prayers would be appreciated.
Praying!



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#856)
Old
Lucifers_homeboy Lucifers_homeboy is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 3
Join Date: Jun 2018
Lucifers_homeboy is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I hit my wife for the first time - 06-18-2018, 10:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joseph McManus View Post
Or maybe I should say God did. This morning my wife went to take a shower and I figured it'd be a good time to go into the hallway closet and have a quick prayer session. After I finished I went into the bedroom and she was putting her makeup on. She asked where I was and I told her I was working in the garage and she said I checked the garage and you weren't in there. I told her I must have been in the corner where she couldn't see me.

She asked if everything was ok, and that she noticed I had ordered a Bible from Amazon. I told her that I was reconsidering my views on God and there were going to be some changes in our house. I told her that she was going to have to leave or sell her company, we were going to start going to Church and she was to stay home to cook, clean and homeschool the kids. And keep in mind the whole time she's looking at me like I'm crazy and I'm feeling disrespected in my own house. I got around to Halloween and how we would not be observing it anymore and that pumpkin pies were not to be made anymore. I told her it had to stop.

She looked me in the eye and said "Are you out of your mind?!?" and that's when God himself spoke to me and said "This is your house, I am your God and she is your wife, CONTROL HER!"

I'm ashamed to admit it but I hesitated, I didn't know what to do. That's when I felt Him enter my body and felt my hand raise up from my side. The back of my hand connected with her cheek and she screamed "What the f@*% is wrong with you?!!!" Again, as if acting on it's own my arm swung out again and hit her in the face and she was silent, crying on the bed where she had fell.

After a few moments I asked her if she understood the changes we would be making and she nodded yes, never looking up at me. I said "Good, now I've worked up an appetite, why don't you go make some lunch." She replied that we didn't have anything to make and asked if she could go to the store and I said that was fine. She then asked if she could take the kids with her as they haven't been outside all day and that it would give me some peace and quiet to study my Bible.

I feel our talk was very productive and that she understands her role as she asked me permission to leave the house. And I feel overjoyed that God himself entered me and filled me with his Love and showed me firsthand how to deal with a disobedient wife. But most importantly I feel I have the proof I've spent my whole life searching for. God took control of my body and spoke to me personally!! I feel so blessed that he chose to reveal himself to me.

The wife should be home any minute now, she's been gone an hour and a half, I don't know what's taking her so long. I guess we were very low on food so she had a lot to buy. Thanks for reading, I just wanted to share the progress I've made!
hahaha your wifes left ya mate and shes took the kids shes gonna be having pumpkin pies with her bairns at her parents house while they sort out a divorce lawyer
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
a shiner is worth 1000 words, christian domestic discipline, spanking for good discipline

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved