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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Talitha Talitha is offline
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-03-2008, 11:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by gnannka View Post
Ok, I tried the nice way.

So piffle your jesus. piffle your bible. You all mormons who don't even understand what it is you are preaching. I would rather burn in hell than be incompitent and mormonic like this site. I will just derail every thread until I am deleted. I don't think it should come to that now should it. LMAO, I'll just put you on my SPAM list and never join another religious cult before I read what it is I'm getting myself into.
Would you like me to delete your account?



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-03-2008, 11:46 PM

yes please!
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-04-2008, 12:06 AM

Haha, it sure as hell is easy to be an ex-christian. I was baptized an Epsicopalian, and what do you know? I don't claim faith anymore! I'm really quite content living a life without god, and dying and going into the ground and that being the end.
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-04-2008, 12:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaveManJoe View Post
and dying and going into the ground and that being the end.
Oh, you'll go in the ground after you die, all right. You'll go very deep into the ground, all the way down to HELL! You'll wish that was the end, as it will only be the beginning of your misery.

Friend, stop this foolishness and accept Jesus. I can tell you that for myself, I feel no truer joy than having Jesus deep inside me.
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-04-2008, 12:22 AM

Meh, why do you all exactly care what people choose to believe?
You can drill through the entire earth and you will never find hell. Only molten rock. I'll be all I own on that. Go grab a shovel and try.
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-04-2008, 12:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaveManJoke View Post
Meh, why do you all exactly care what people choose to believe?
You can drill through the entire earth and you will never find hell. Only molten rock. I'll be all I own on that. Go grab a shovel and try.
http://www.av1611.org/hell.html

Take a look at that website, friend. Then come back, look us in the eye, and say what you just said again with a straight face. I dare you.
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-04-2008, 12:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Would you like me to delete your account?
Sorry, maybe I'll stick around.
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-04-2008, 12:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by gnannka View Post
Sorry, maybe I'll stick around.
Better mind your manners then, monkey worshiper.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-04-2008, 12:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Better mind your manners then, monkey worshiper.

OH come on! What I gotta be a monkey for?
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Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-04-2008, 12:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by gnannka View Post
Ok, I tried the nice way.

Blah blah blah.
Actually, young boy, the nice way is to say, "I don't want to go on this forum any more. I shall log off and never come back." The only people who go around asking how to delete their account are attention seekers trying to make some obscure point, or they keep coming back for a reason.
There are usually only two reasons people sign up here in the first place. God brings them, or Satan sends them. You should look deep inside and pray on this to find out which of these is the reason you came in the first place. After that, you will either be at peace or horrified that the devil has such a lock on your soul.


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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gnannka gnannka is offline
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-04-2008, 01:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Actually, young boy, the nice way is to say, "I don't want to go on this forum any more. I shall log off and never come back." The only people who go around asking how to delete their account are attention seekers trying to make some obscure point, or they keep coming back for a reason.
There are usually only two reasons people sign up here in the first place. God brings them, or Satan sends them. You should look deep inside and pray on this to find out which of these is the reason you came in the first place. After that, you will either be at peace or horrified that the devil has such a lock on your soul.

Yeah I'm a chick. Not a trans either so don't refer to me as a young boy. I wanted deleted because I didn't want to receive email any longer. But I apologized and changed my mind so your arguement against me was discredited before you posted it. Have a nice day.
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Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-04-2008, 05:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by gnannka View Post
Yeah I'm a chick. Not a trans either so don't refer to me as a young boy. I wanted deleted because I didn't want to receive email any longer. But I apologized and changed my mind so your arguement against me was discredited before you posted it. Have a nice day.
Yes, that all happened while I was typing up my post. If you tried a little praying while you write, it would take you a little longer too but the end result would be much more worthwhile.


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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CattivoF0x CattivoF0x is offline
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 01-05-2008, 05:46 AM

PRAYING is fun and fun for the girl too.
Go ahead and have PRAYER every night. :]
Make sure you last long, like an hour or so too.
Trust me on this one.

Last edited by Mrs. Mary Whitford; 01-05-2008 at 05:49 AM. Reason: Replaced filth with decency
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Default Re: anal - 01-05-2008, 08:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
2 minutes
Chapter and verse.
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Default Re: anal - 01-05-2008, 11:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by imogene View Post
Chapter and verse.
The Bible says that it's best to stay unmarried, and if one do marries:
Not to let the wife become a distraction from the Lord and start caring about how to please her instead of God.
That's why it's Biblical to say that the less time you spend procreating with her, the better:
You need but make sure she is always pregnant, for the Salvation of women is found in childbearing. (1 Timothy 2:15)
And while no exact amount of time that's to be thus spent is mentioned in the Bible, about 2 minutes is the time needed for a man to..
Well, I shouldn't need to spell it out.

I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned.
Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not;
And they that buy, as though they possessed not; and they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
There is difference also between a wife and a virgin.
The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit:
But she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit;
Not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
1 Corinthians 7:26-35


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: anal - 02-03-2008, 01:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
No, but it is the equally-damning sin of MURDER.

God personally sculped the souls in every one of those sperm you murder every time you engage in non-procrative sexual activity.

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. -Jeremiah 1:5, and Psalm 139:13

That's why LUST is a sin. Biblically approved sex means lights out, man on top, in and out in under 2 minutes, without the seed being spilled.

To find out more about what the Bible says about the unborn, read here.

Are you ready to repent?
Man if you follow those rules you are my new hero, not because I agree with you but because that is a kind of discipline I just cant summon.
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 02-04-2008, 02:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by gnannka View Post
Ok, I tried the nice way.

So piffle your jesus. piffle your bible. You all mormons who don't even understand what it is you are preaching. I would rather burn in hell than be incompitent and mormonic like this site. I will just derail every thread until I am deleted. I don't think it should come to that now should it. LMAO, I'll just put you on my SPAM list and never join another religious cult before I read what it is I'm getting myself into.
silly you joined a forum not a cult. To join Landover Baptist you need to want to know God and embrace His every single solitary word. You just didn't need to stay if you didn't want to be here.

Were your hands tied to the keyboard? Did your browser refused to move from this page?

I believe you were led here but it is not us that you thumb your nose at...oh nooo not us.

You hurt Jesus, that is who you hurt.



To you agents of false religions and atheists...
Proverbs 16:2
All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits.
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Default Re: Banal Trolling - 02-04-2008, 02:40 PM

and you mock God with that odd poodle bonsai haircut thing on your head.



To you agents of false religions and atheists...
Proverbs 16:2
All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits.
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: On planet earth Where Hillary Clinton will be president in 2008
MyHusbandHasFleas is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Banal Trolling - 05-27-2008, 05:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
Oh, you'll go in the ground after you die, all right. You'll go very deep into the ground, all the way down to HELL! You'll wish that was the end, as it will only be the beginning of your misery.

I feel no truer joy than having Jesus deep inside me.

Ewwww gross
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