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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-10-2019, 06:24 PM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
The obvious conclusion here is that "John" is actually Juan, and is an illegal beaner in disguise trying to marry you for a green card.
I completely understand your concern, Mr. Lukes, but after a very intensive (and ongoing) background/ancestry check, I can assure you that John is a full-blooded, white American man. I wish I could call him a True Christian™, but that's not for me to decide. There will be NO violations of Deuteronomy 7:3 or Daniel 2:43 in my family!
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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-10-2019, 06:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther B. View Post
I made it for John last night with ghost peppers (I don't know if he likes anything hotter), and he loved it!
Esther, dear, if he actually enjoyed ghost peppers in his chili, he wouldn't have noticed any difference with the Carolina reapers. Lemme guess: he munches on habanero peppers (a meager 500,000 on Scoville scale) as if they were apples?

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
The obvious conclusion here is that "John" is actually Juan, and is an illegal beaner in disguise trying to marry you for a green card.
That is a very good point, Brother Dennis. No normal human of pure white Anglo-Saxon descent would be able to survive eating ten ghost peppers at once.
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Sinner Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-11-2019, 05:02 AM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
No normal human of pure white Anglo-Saxon descent would be able to survive eating ten ghost peppers at once.
Job 41:21


I doubt even a Mexican or an Injun (the cow-worshipping kind) could survive eating ten ghost peppers at once, and they eat spicy filth all the time. No, the only way you can survive that is through the power of God (Matthew 19:26). As there is very little chance that Juan is a True Christian, this throws Esther's entire story into question.


Hot peppers are a taste of what awaits in Hell!


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Rebuke Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-11-2019, 07:29 AM

I am very worried about this thread and its implications. One of the replies by our immaculate Sisters alerted be. The message I am referring to is as follows:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
From my personal experience (and I suspect Dana may agree), these sort of peppers hurt on the way out as much as on the way in. Just in case, have a few gallons of milk ready. And maybe an ambulance on call?
Indeed, it has come to the attention of our Creation Science Team that the capsaicin, the effective drug of the peppers, gives you sensory stimuli during defecation and not only during the consumption of these plant-based products.

I am very sorry to have to point this out in very direct language, but we're talking about anal stimulation. Any anal stimulation felt by susceptible individuals (excluding True Christians™) is an inevitable one-way descent into sodomy, either intergender of male-only. It causes a burning sensation in the (I am sorry to repeat this) anal region.



The sodomistic majority of the population strives for these sensations, and when a suitable tallywhacker is unavailable, they'll succumb to spicy foods to get the Scoville Scale Sphincter that is for them the ultimate pleasure. Furthermore, the passage of this fiery fiend across the rectal ring of resistance is the moment that causes one's alienation from Jesus!

Mark 7:20
And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man.

The defecation of these peppers defiles a man. Finally, some verses originally used to educate sinners into elevated rhetoric can now be applied to this issue:

James 3:6
And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

To conclude: Fire on the tongue is the fire of Hell, especially for the unsaved sodomistic swarm. For them, chili is a potential pathway into blasphemy. I, for one, shall restrain myself from trying your chili. Ever.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-11-2019, 02:38 PM

Dolli, I just thought I'd let you know that even after a day of sitting in the refrigerator, the chili apparently tastes just as good as it did on the day that I made it (according to JOHN).




Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Esther, dear, if he actually enjoyed ghost peppers in his chili, he wouldn't have noticed any difference with the Carolina reapers. Lemme guess: he munches on habanero peppers (a meager 500,000 on Scoville scale) as if they were apples?

That is a very good point, Brother Dennis. No normal human of pure white Anglo-Saxon descent would be able to survive eating ten ghost peppers at once.


John actually doesn't like the flavor of habaneros, so no, he doesn't eat them like apples.


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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-11-2019, 04:22 PM

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Originally Posted by Esther B. View Post
John actually doesn't like the flavor of habaneros, so no, he doesn't eat them like apples.
He doesn't like the flavor of habaneros. Flavor. FLAVOR?!? If it's the "flavor" he feels so strongly against, then yup, Brother Dennis' hypothesis is confirmed. Beware, Esther dear, of this Don Juan of yours. I mean, I can attest that there's nothing wrong with dating someone with Mexican descent, as long as he has lots of money, you know, for tithing. But he shouldn't be hiding his origin from you by disguising his real name.
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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-11-2019, 05:20 PM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
He doesn't like the flavor of habaneros. Flavor. FLAVOR?!? If it's the "flavor" he feels so strongly against, then yup, Brother Dennis' hypothesis is confirmed. Beware, Esther dear, of this Don Juan of yours. I mean, I can attest that there's nothing wrong with dating someone with Mexican descent, as long as he has lots of money, you know, for tithing. But he shouldn't be hiding his origin from you by disguising his real name.
If he was anything less than a Godly whie man, he wouldn't be courting my daughter. I REFUSE to have a son-in-law with even the tiniest drop of Mexican blood in his veins.
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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-11-2019, 05:32 PM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
He doesn't like the flavor of habaneros. Flavor. FLAVOR?!? If it's the "flavor" he feels so strongly against, then yup, Brother Dennis' hypothesis is confirmed. Beware, Esther dear, of this Don Juan of yours. I mean, I can attest that there's nothing wrong with dating someone with Mexican descent, as long as he has lots of money, you know, for tithing. But he shouldn't be hiding his origin from you by disguising his real name.
Forgive me for my lack of understanding, dear Sister, but how is his dislike of something a bad thing? In my weak, womanly mind, I would have taken it as a bad thing if he enjoyed eating habaneros frequently. Every person that I've met with Mexican blood has enjoyed eating hot peppers as a snack. I mean no disrespect, but I would like to see where you are coming from.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Sinner Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-11-2019, 06:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther B. View Post
Forgive me for my lack of understanding, dear Sister, but how is his dislike of something a bad thing? In my weak, womanly mind, I would have taken it as a bad thing if he enjoyed eating habaneros frequently. Every person that I've met with Mexican blood has enjoyed eating hot peppers as a snack. I mean no disrespect, but I would like to see where you are coming from.
For a normal human being, what makes us not enjoy habanero peppers is the immense heat. If Don Juan can actually detect a flavor of the habanero pepper amidst the burning, that means he's not a normal human being.

You see, dear, there are hot peppers and there are really hot peppers. In your stroll through the grocery store, you may notice a variety of shapes and colors. Among the most common ones, jalapeño peppers are some of the mildest (I eat them whole and barely feel a kick, as going on missions to ungodly South America has killed most of my taste buds). Serrano peppers would be the next level of heat, they are good in a variety of recipes, but I would not recommend eating them whole. Caution when handling them is recommended.

Habanero peppers are among the hottest that you'd find in a regular (non-Mexican) supermarket/grocery store. Using gloves when handling them (cutting, removing seeds) is not just recommended but practically required, as they will burn your hands and whatever body part you touch with your hands (burning in the eyes is especially painful). Also, try not to breathe too close to an open habanero, because that stuff is painful in your respiratory system as well. And it will get to your eyes through air, too.

Anything hotter than habanero is plain torture. Ghost peppers mentioned by Dolli are used by the Indian military instead of tear gas (in the East Indies, not on the reservations; also please note that this article was written when ghost pepper still held the Guinness Record for the world's hottest pepper). Now, you may not have noticed the sarcasm in the original post by Dolli and my subsequent reply, so let me spell out it for you: yes there was sarcasm. Ghost pepper may no longer hold the Guinness Record as the world's hottest pepper, but it still is excruciatingly hot.

Last edited by Basilissa; 02-11-2019 at 06:54 PM. Reason: added color coding for clarity; scale: green = mild, orange = medium, red = hot, dark red = torture
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Messican Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-11-2019, 07:12 PM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
I can attest that there's nothing wrong with dating someone with Mexican descent, as long as he has lots of money, you know, for tithing.
Oh yes, I certainly wasn't casting any aspersions on your man Enrique. I'm sure he's a Godly man of pure-blooded Spaniard heritage without any Injun taint, not some mestizo drug trafficker.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
he shouldn't be hiding his origin from you by disguising his real name.
Here's what God has to say: Psalms 101:7, Proverbs 12:22, Proverbs 19:9.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Brother Dennis' hypothesis is confirmed. Beware, Esther dear, of this Don Juan of yours.
If that's the case, someone should call ICE and the DEA immediately. Our national security is at risk. This is why we need that wall ASAP people!!!


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-12-2019, 08:38 PM

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Oh yes, I certainly wasn't casting any aspersions on your man Enrique. I'm sure he's a Godly man of pure-blooded Spaniard heritage without any Injun taint,
Of course he is! Just - um - please do NOT send him any of these "find your ancestry" DNA kits, OK? They are an abomination in the eyes of the Lord, that's why.

Quote:
If that's the case, someone should call ICE and the DEA immediately. Our national security is at risk. This is why we need that wall ASAP people!!!
Indeed, Brother!

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
I doubt even a Mexican or an Injun (the cow-worshipping kind) could survive eating ten ghost peppers at once, and they eat spicy filth all the time.
That is a good point, Brother. Now, there are ways of preparing really hot peppers to make them slightly less fiery - diligently removing the internal veins, soaking in milk, boiling with salt and/or sugar, etc, but there's only so much that can be done with the torture-hot peppers.
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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-12-2019, 08:57 PM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Now, there are ways of preparing really hot peppers to make them slightly less fiery - diligently removing the internal veins, soaking in milk, boiling with salt and/or sugar, etc, but there's only so much that can be done with the torture-hot peppers.
I suspect that the best way to prepare them is to put them directly into the pigfeed bin - and then wash your hands! Or better still, cut out the middle man by not buying them in the first place?


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-12-2019, 09:29 PM

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Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
I suspect that the best way to prepare them is to put them directly into the pigfeed bin - and then wash your hands! Or better still, cut out the middle man by not buying them in the first place?
Well, there are some irresistibly delicious fiery recipes. What can I say, some food is so good that it melts in your mouth, and some food is so good that it melts your mouth. And this is what Enrique likes, so what can I say. I obey the Lord by obeying my beloved.

Case in point, rocoto relleno calls for a pepper which may look like a harmless bell pepper but actually packs habanero-level heat.

Now, when preparing this recipe in Godly United States of America rather than in ungodly South America, I have no choice but to substitute the fiery rocoto pepper with the very bland poblano pepper. Which means I have to stuff it with some finely chopped serrano peppers (capsaicin-high veins included) in addition to the regular ground meat and vegetable stuffing. Making the same dish with bell peppers gives a tasteless, bland thing which is barely edible.
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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-12-2019, 10:01 PM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
And this is what Enrique likes, so what can I say. I obey the Lord by obeying my beloved.
Enrique (by the way, did you ask if we could call him Henry, or Hal, or maybe Hank?) is a very lucky man, Sister. Although we all obey our husbands in matters of culinary preference, I salute you as a brave woman in this case and hope that he appreciates you. (He is extraordinarily handsome, by the way - I really loved the engagement photos. So unconventional!)


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-12-2019, 10:46 PM

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Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Enrique (by the way, did you ask if we could call him Henry, or Hal, or maybe Hank?)
It was our Mayor Hold who discovered that the name Enrique actually comes from Erik, making Enrique a clear descendant of the Vikings who originally discovered America. Very tan Vikings with thick black hair and gorgeous dark brown eyes.

Quote:
is a very lucky man, Sister. Although we all obey our husbands in matters of culinary preference, I salute you as a brave woman in this case and hope that he appreciates you.
He certainly does - all of his ex girlfriends come in varying shades of brown, so he knows I'm a huge upgrade.

Quote:
(He is extraordinarily handsome, by the way - I really loved the engagement photos. So unconventional!)
Umm, I was not aware that these pictures were already circulating - I meant to photoshop out some of his family members - especially his mother, grandmother, and sisters, who insist on wearing these funny clothes and stupid hats!
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Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-13-2019, 09:48 AM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Umm, I was not aware that these pictures were already circulating - I meant to photoshop out some of his family members!
Whoops! The person who circulated them presumably didn't realize. I won't embarrass her husband by naming her. We did wonder about some of the women, and concluded that they were probably from a passing traveling carnival.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Who wants to try my chili? - 02-13-2019, 07:13 PM

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Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Whoops! The person who circulated them presumably didn't realize. I won't embarrass her husband by naming her. We did wonder about some of the women, and concluded that they were probably from a passing traveling carnival.
Well, at least for this occasion they wore new clothes, their every day clothes look even weirder. The grandmother refuses to speak in Spanish and insists she only knows the local Aymara language. It must be some weird Viking custom, I suppose.
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