[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Many newcomers are unsure about tithing and exactly how much "a tithe" is. That's a very easy question to answer since the word tithe is derived from tenth.

Genesis 28:20 And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on,
[...]
Genesis 28:22 And this stone, which I have set for a pillar, shall be God's house: and of all that thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto thee.

You see how Jacob showed the proper True Christian™ attitude towards God: God has given you everything - your body, your family, your house, your wives, your job and even your monthly pay check.

These are among the gifts God heap upon you, and you get to keep 90% and only give back 10% to Jesus' favorite church. Is that a fair offer or is that a fair offer?

People think nothing about having a greasy spoon diner and pay the slovenly waiter 15%, but the waiter didn't give his life for you - Jesus did. That's why Jesus asks for more! He also wants your first-born, man or beast:

Exodus 13:12 That thou shalt set apart unto the LORD all that openeth the matrix, and every firstling that cometh of a beast which thou hast; the males shall be the LORD'S.
Exodus 13:13 And every firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb; and if thou wilt not redeem it, then thou shalt break his neck: and all the firstborn of man among thy children shalt thou redeem.

Every firstborn belongs to God. This is only fair since God let His firstborn Son die on the cross for you. Amen!

All the firstborn among your animals belong to God. You have a choice between (1) Buying them back from the church or (2) breaking their necks.

Your firstborn son also belongs to the church, but in this case option (2) is made void and you have to buy the brat back from the church. We'll get back to the price list in a moment.

But this is only the beginning. PRAISE. So far we have talked about things that belong to God already. You won't get into the Platinum Tithers' league by giving God something that He already owns. You have to make a singular vow.

Jesus gave you all you have, and you should show how much you love Him by paying some of it back. You don't do this this by giving him the tithe and firstlings (they belong to Jesus already, so how can you give them away? Duh!).

What you need to do is to make A SINGULAR VOW. You give Jesus your live-stock, children, wives, houses and fields - and then you buy them back from Jesus' church. What a way to show your appreciation for the guy who died (temporarily) for YOUR sins.

Leviticus 27:2 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When a man shall make a singular vow, the persons shall be for the LORD by thy estimation.
Leviticus 27:3 And thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old, even thy estimation shall be fifty shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary.
Leviticus 27:4 And if it be a female, then thy estimation shall be thirty shekels.
Leviticus 27:5 And if it be from five years old even unto twenty years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male twenty shekels, and for the female ten shekels.
Leviticus 27:6 And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver.
Leviticus 27:7 And if it be from sixty years old and above; if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female ten shekels.
Leviticus 27:8 But if he be poorer than thy estimation, then he shall present himself before the priest, and the priest shall value him; according to his ability that vowed shall the priest value him.
Leviticus 27:9 And if it be a beast, whereof men bring an offering unto the LORD, all that any man giveth of such unto the LORD shall be holy.
Leviticus 27:10 He shall not alter it, nor change it, a good for a bad, or a bad for a good: and if he shall at all change beast for beast, then it and the exchange thereof shall be holy.
Leviticus 27:11 And if it be any unclean beast, of which they do not offer a sacrifice unto the LORD, then he shall present the beast before the priest:
Leviticus 27:12 And the priest shall value it, whether it be good or bad: as thou valuest it, who art the priest, so shall it be.
Leviticus 27:13 But if he will at all redeem it, then he shall add a fifth part thereof unto thy estimation.
Leviticus 27:14 And when a man shall sanctify his house to be holy unto the LORD, then the priest shall estimate it, whether it be good or bad: as the priest shall estimate it, so shall it stand.
Leviticus 27:15 And if he that sanctified it will redeem his house, then he shall add the fifth part of the money of thy estimation unto it, and it shall be his.
Leviticus 27:16 And if a man shall sanctify unto the LORD some part of a field of his possession, then thy estimation shall be according to the seed thereof: an homer of barley seed shall be valued at fifty shekels of silver.
Leviticus 27:17 If he sanctify his field from the year of jubile, according to thy estimation it shall stand.
Leviticus 27:18 But if he sanctify his field after the jubile, then the priest shall reckon unto him the money according to the years that remain, even unto the year of the jubile, and it shall be abated from thy estimation.

I stopped the quote here (the price-list goes on), but let me re-iterate: Giving your first-born child to Jesus is not a singular vow, since Jesus owns your son already. You have to do better than that. And - one more thing - don't make promises if you don't intend to keep them:

Deuteronomy 23:21 When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee.
Deuteronomy 23:22 But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee.
Deuteronomy 23:23 That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the LORD thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth.

How much do you love Jesus?? That's exactly how much you should tithe to Landover!!!

[SUV]

Yes, a tenth.

But we must also Hope that these Sinners remember to give ALL their Love to Jesus and not waste any on Family Members - as Jesus Himself demanded. Unless the neighbors are looking.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

My personal favorite Tithing scriptures appear in the New testament, in the Gospel of Mark. Jesus teaches us that, while the wealthy are expected to Tithe the normal 10 percent, the poor and destitute are expected to Tithe everything they own.

Mark 12:41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. Mark 12:42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. Mark 12:43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: Mark 12:44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

This verse always goes over well at corporate fundraisers, Praise Jesus!

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

This verse always goes over well at corporate fundraisers, Praise Jesus!

The moral is as beautiful as it is simple: Jesus doesn't care if you're rich or poor - as long as you give all you have.

Don't forget that Jesus spent 30 years among those money-grubbing Shylocks, so He knew all their lame excuses. Oy!

[Lady Sorrow]

This is good to hear, as I am only a poor student. But I will give as much as I can, because the bible demands it, and I am not one to dare question the wisdom of the bible, for doing so would be to endanger my immortal soul!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Presuming, of course, that you *have* one, which is questionable, as I understand it...

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Originally Posted by JonFish85

Presuming, of course, that you *have* one, which is questionable, as I understand it...

Even though God in His infinite wisdom, love, and compassion did not see fit have Lady Sorrow born as a member of the sex that matters to Him, we must give her the benefit of the doubt until LBC's Creation scientists have finished their research into the matter. After all, you wouldn't want to deprive her of the benefits of tithing to God's favorite church, now, would you?

[Dr. Warren Wierdsbe]

I have always been careful to bring this up only among the elect, as the unsaved and false Christians can take it completely wrong. Suppose Lady Sorrow gives all her living today, leaving nothing to give tomorrow.
A. Is she allowed to give freely from other talents she may have?
B. Since this won't go into the offering plate, to whom should she present these gifts?

[Unfalsifiable]

2 Corinthians 9:7

7Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

[shy Rita]

Unfortunately, due to being a college student living in New York, i do not actually have an income to tithe from. When i come across income i eagerly tithe, but when i don't have income what should i do?

[Roberta]

Street walking is very remunerative in JYC. Ashley Alexandra Dupré makes $1,000 per hour!

[shy Rita]

Originally Posted by Roberta

Street walking is very remunerative in JYC. Ashley Alexandra Dupré makes $1,000 per hour!

What in the world are you talking about? Street walking? If you mean walking down the street, we kinda get charged for that. (Can someone say TOURISTS) Other than that you've lost me.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by shy Rita

Unfortunately, due to being a college student living in New York, i do not actually have an income to tithe from. When i come across income i eagerly tithe, but when i don't have income what should i do?

Jesus says to sell everything you own and give 100% to Landover Baptist. The rewards that He sends back to you will be stunning.

Mark 12:41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. Mark 12:42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. Mark 12:43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: Mark 12:44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Jesus says to sell everything you own and give 100% to Landover Baptist. The rewards that He sends back to you will be stunning.

Well, in the case of the widow, all she had was one farthing, so there wasn't much point in splitting her possessions. For richer people it would seem that tithing half you own is fully sufficient:

Luke 19:8 And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.
Luke 19:9 And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Well, let's split the difference and have her Tithe 75% of her gross worth.

[StarrKingGrad]

People should tithe as their hearts and wallets dictate. Remember Acts 11:29:

Then the disciples, every man according to his ability, determined to send relief unto the brethren which dwelt in Judaea.

As a Unitarian Universalist minister, I make my living from the generosity of the congregants of my church, and I am thankful for their kindness. I pray every day that my services be worthy of their largesse. But I make enough to live a comfortable life, and I would never want to take a widow's last farthing or money from a student who needs it to complete her or his education. There is a collection plate in my church, but there is no cover charge.

[shy Rita]

Originally Posted by StarrKingGrad

People should tithe as their hearts and wallets dictate. Remember Acts 11:29:

Then the disciples, every man according to his ability, determined to send relief unto the brethren which dwelt in Judaea.

As a Unitarian Universalist minister, I make my living from the generosity of the congregants of my church, and I am thankful for their kindness. I pray every day that my services be worthy of their largesse. But I make enough to live a comfortable life, and I would never want to take a widow's last farthing or money from a student who needs it to complete her or his education. There is a collection plate in my church, but there is no cover charge.

Even I would have to disagree with you here. The Lord commands us to tithe 10 percent of our income. However, offering, which is what you're talking about, is optional.

[Skittles the Lumberjack]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Jesus says to sell everything you own and give 100% to Landover Baptist. The rewards that He sends back to you will be stunning.

Why should they tithe to your church specifically?

[Carl the wop]

Originally Posted by Skirita

Why should they tithe to your church specifically?

It's ignorance like this that makes you unworthy to be a part of this august congregation. This is God's One True Church. Failure to accept this shows you for what you are, an idolator..

[Skittles the Lumberjack]

Originally Posted by Carl the wop

It's ignorance like this that makes you unworthy to be a part of this august congregation. This is God's One True Church. Failure to accept this shows you for what you are, an idolator..

Look, I'm no ignorant, you mulleted jack-ass. I was, and am, legitamitely curious why to just your church. What about other Christian churches? What makes this one special?