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Default Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-09-2023, 05:07 AM

I am once again offering Taylor Swift ornaments for your tree this year. They are 5 inches in diameter, made of faux gold or silver, which is the most sought after precious metal. Emblazoned with a rendering of Taylor as the Virgin Mary, imagine the joy that will fill your home as you decorate while listening to songs from the Eras Tour.

Each carefully crafted ornament is reasonably priced at only $289 which is a steal. But wait, there's more! For an additional $46, you can own the Taylor Topper! Replacing your usual star with a real star is whimsical and fun. Featuring Taylor as the Blessed Virgin, it rotates and plays your favorite Swift hits.


For Landover members I am offering $1 off the low price. All proceeds will benefit the seller in the spirit of the season. Quantities are limited. Allow 5 months for delivery, or ask for free rush shipping at the low cost of $79.


Have a Swift Season!


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-09-2023, 10:58 PM

Are you sliding back into your old wicked Catholic ways, my beloved Brother?

Why would any True Christian™ want an ornament shaped like the woman whose only achievement in life was giving birth to Jesus?


And I'm pretty sure she was not a virgin after Jesus was born, because there is no way she could have a caesarian in a manger and survive it.


And who is Taylor Swift? Isn't Taylor s guy's name? Why is he dressing up like the mother of Jesus?
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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-10-2023, 04:01 AM

My dearest Basilissa,

I could never return to the godless ways of my former faith. I started this venture for what I consider a Christian reason.


To make money. Honestly. I offer a product. I supply the product. People are happy. I love blessing folks.


In Him Who Comes Quickly,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-10-2023, 01:27 PM

Do you have any Lady Gaga decorations? My friend suggested enquiring about Mastodon ornaments but I don't think prehistoric lizard-elephants are appropriate for The Lord's birthday. Gaga, however, can actually sing on-the-note and a carol selection is just the way to set her on The Narrow Path, if you could mention that to her, that'd be great.

ML
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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-10-2023, 09:53 PM

My manufacturer will do Gaga items as special order. The only topper he has sings Born This Way. He has Bad Romance ornaments for Halloween trees. I will see if I can get you a deal but orders for Christmas have to be in by November 15th.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-11-2023, 11:11 PM

My friend definitely does not want Born This Way but would like to order some white zentai suited angels with little strings attached. They need not play music or sing.
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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-12-2023, 03:08 AM

My manufacturer said those have to be paid up front. The payment can be sent to me and I will handle the rest. Including tax, it will be 1200 US dollars.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-12-2023, 05:08 PM

I must say, when I think of Christmas I do not think of Ms Swift or Ms Gaga. I think of the horrors of an*l sex and how the transgenders are ruining our beautiful celebration of the war on depravity. That's literally all I think about from now until January 6, then I switch to thinking about the war on Christian values - in particular those prohibiting an*l sex.


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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-12-2023, 09:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
I must say, when I think of Christmas I do not think of Ms Swift or Ms Gaga. I think of the horrors of an*l sex and how the transgenders are ruining our beautiful celebration of the war on depravity. That's literally all I think about from now until January 6, then I switch to thinking about the war on Christian values - in particular those prohibiting an*l sex.
But not all of us are great thinkers like you and I, my dear friend. Some require fillers between the important events in life. It is for this reason I offer my wares. Perhaps someday I will expand to sell items that reflect more serious thought but I believe Christians tend to be content with what they see on the surface and leave the deep thinking to their atheist enemies. Glory to God.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-13-2023, 02:36 AM

I've heard back and at twelve hundred for a set of Gagas apparently the quality might not be so good (the word "tacky" was avoided) and an order is unlikely. Unless that was the price per each? Instead, I've been asked to check availability of musical Festivus Poles—whatever they are—however I'm not sure if Poles are Christian? I know that food sacrificed to idols has no effect on us
I Corinthians 8:4&8 As concerning therefore the eating of those things that are offered in sacrifice unto idols, we know that an idol is nothing in the world, and that there is none other God but one . . . But meat commendeth us not to God: for neither, if we eat, are we the better; neither, if we eat not, are we the worse.
..but whether a Festivus Pole is an idol or not (it seems not to be covered by The Ten Commandments) the musical suggestions are troubling. John Holt and Noemi Gigante, the latter singing about Macarena of sometime forum memory, do not align with my view of Christ's Birthday Celebration regardless of what happens within the vicinity of a pole. Your comments would be appreciated but hopefully musical Festivuses are not available from your supplier and my friend will be disappointed.

REQUESTED FOR MUSICAL FESTIVUS POLE

John HoltNoemi Gigante

Yes, gents, just a few weeks
in the Caribbean and you too
can look like this. Suggested,
but no Pastoral approval yet.
Macarena appears at 1:30 &
the accompanist's like ‘meh’
when the blackberryplucking
tart slopes off with her boyf?



https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=727120&highlight=Macarena#post727120
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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-13-2023, 11:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
Instead, I've been asked to check availability of musical Festivus Poles—whatever they are—however I'm not sure if Poles are Christian?
Sadly, no. The majority of Poles are Catholics, just like their favorite saint, John Paul II (the Saint of the Pedophiles).
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Default Re: Not too early to Think of Christmas - 10-17-2023, 06:57 AM

This thread is growing ever more disturbing, and I think I know where it's headed. I swear that, if anyone here starts selling My Chemical Romance ornaments, I'm reporting you to a deacon.


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