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Location: Gargling Gulch, Texas
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WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
03-31-2013, 04:40 PM
Fellow Gals in His Holy Name on this Oh So Holy of Days, Praise Him!
I try to lead a morally righteous and sincere life, sharing His Holy Word with my family, friends, and neighbors, and witnessing to the souls of the lost men at the truck stop across the highway (I don't bother with the lady truckers -- and I use that term VERY loosely -- since they are all a pack of harlots and lesbians marked for eternal damnation in the fiery lakes of Hell). However, from time to time, I'm ashamed to say, I step off the patch of righteousness and into the local Rite-Aid in the name of the sin of pride. It is a woman's fault, as many of you know my Sisters!
While God was generous in his blessings as to my "outer beauty" in almost all respects -- blessing me with a particularly fine head of hair -- he was not as giving when it came down to my fingernails. I must say, they are downright ugly, and, when compared to the rest of me, are like a giant scratch on an otherwise beautiful porcelein vase. To fix this problem, I indulge myself with Lee Press-On Nails bought at the Rite Aid over in Tyler. But now I am so conflicted! What would Jesus say about Lee Press-On Nails? I have gotten down on my well-worn knees and asked him to tell me but got only silence over the sound of air-breaks across the highway. Ladies, what is your view? Are all colors allowed (I never wear turquoise color or bright orange like the nigras do!)? How about length -- is 2 inches okay -- the Bible doesn't say! What about glitter, or little painted unicorns?
Please let me know, my dear sisters! Give my tormented soul some peace!
XOXOXOXO
Bertha V.
Last edited by Bertha Vanacion; 03-31-2013 at 04:42 PM.
Reason: My fingernails got in the way while I was typing and made me mess up!
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
03-31-2013, 04:48 PM
Such foolishness is prohibited in the Porter home. Always turn to God's Word for guidance, young lady.
Proverbs 31:30 "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."
Psalm 119:37 "Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way."
Just be happy with the gifts you have. God could have decided you didn't deserve all ten fingers when you were born.
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
03-31-2013, 04:49 PM
In case you were curious, here is a picture of how I have them painted today to celebrate our Lords reincarnation! Praise Him!
XOXOXOXO
Bertha V.
Last edited by Brother Harold Porter; 03-31-2013 at 04:52 PM.
Reason: Re-sized picture to conserve God's bandwidth
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Gushing for Jesus
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
03-31-2013, 06:28 PM
Those are nice nails, Bertha, but I don't know why a duck and bunny are represented and not our Dear, Sweet, Savior's image. What about doing something like this to show your love and gratitude?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
03-31-2013, 07:49 PM
Hmmm, I use clear nail polish that strengthens the fingernails, but that's about it. I feel like press on nails would make it harder to clean, buuut that's just me I suppose. I'm going to say it's on the same line as make-up.
But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
03-31-2013, 09:06 PM
I buff mine until they shine a soft pink after scrubbing my house all day. I don't want my husband to see dirt under my nails! A short natural nail is what Jesus prefers.
Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?
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Fourm Member
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
03-31-2013, 09:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexandria Puckett
Hmmm, I use clear nail polish that strengthens the fingernails, but that's about it. I feel like press on nails would make it harder to clean, buuut that's just me I suppose. I'm going to say it's on the same line as make-up.
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I don't use any polish at all.
Not sure how any hard working True Christian™ woman could have nails so long. I've torn two just today.
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
03-31-2013, 11:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
I don't use any polish at all.
Not sure how any hard working True Christian™ woman could have nails so long. I've torn two just today.
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I know! Isn't that just the worst? Thats why I use the strengthening stuff, but breaking nails is just a sign you are doing good work.
Geez, I love cleaning.
But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
04-01-2013, 02:34 AM
Greetings Sister Bertha,
I hope you are well on this, HIS re-birthday.
It is my belief that nails that are tastefully done are perfectly fine. Why, I, myself have my nails done in a nice French manicure once week just in case HE returns. After all, I want to look my best since I will be HIS bride in Heaven.
You are very wise to avoid the bright colors that the nigresses wear and you also wouldn't want to be mistaken as a lot lizzard.
BLESSINGS!
Sister Thumper
P/S: I do think a little something extra is perfectly appropriate for special occasions such as Christmas, weddings, Easter and Baptisms.
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
04-01-2013, 02:54 AM
How lovely those nails are, Ms. Johnson! I just fell on the floor and started speaking in tongues, ravished by the Holy Spirit when I saw them! My hair is just ALL out of balance now. My, my, my!!!!!
You know, the thought had never crossed my mind as to what we should be wearing when Jesus returns to collect all our righteous souls. It is REALLY REALLY such an IMPORTANT question! I think we ought to start a new thread on this very subject, don't you?! I'm so excited I'm going to do that right now!!!
XOXOXOXO
Bertha V.
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
04-02-2013, 04:22 AM
I rather file down my nails until they are smooth and keep them presentable. Press-on nails seem to get in the way of scrubbing the floor.
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True Christian Lady™, Certified Best Friend of Jesus
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Location: Freehold, Iowa, God's Nation!
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Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails -
04-02-2013, 07:04 AM
My Husband told me to not wear press-on nails, so I don't, no questions asked, and anyway, I imagine it would make cleaning a lot more difficult.
YIC
Mary Thompson.
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