Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women
Reload this Page WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails
Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Bertha Vanacion's Avatar
Bertha Vanacion Bertha Vanacion is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Truck Stop Ministry Member

 
Posts: 42
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Gargling Gulch, Texas
Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 03-31-2013, 04:40 PM

Fellow Gals in His Holy Name on this Oh So Holy of Days, Praise Him!

I try to lead a morally righteous and sincere life, sharing His Holy Word with my family, friends, and neighbors, and witnessing to the souls of the lost men at the truck stop across the highway (I don't bother with the lady truckers -- and I use that term VERY loosely -- since they are all a pack of harlots and lesbians marked for eternal damnation in the fiery lakes of Hell). However, from time to time, I'm ashamed to say, I step off the patch of righteousness and into the local Rite-Aid in the name of the sin of pride. It is a woman's fault, as many of you know my Sisters!

While God was generous in his blessings as to my "outer beauty" in almost all respects -- blessing me with a particularly fine head of hair -- he was not as giving when it came down to my fingernails. I must say, they are downright ugly, and, when compared to the rest of me, are like a giant scratch on an otherwise beautiful porcelein vase. To fix this problem, I indulge myself with Lee Press-On Nails bought at the Rite Aid over in Tyler. But now I am so conflicted! What would Jesus say about Lee Press-On Nails? I have gotten down on my well-worn knees and asked him to tell me but got only silence over the sound of air-breaks across the highway. Ladies, what is your view? Are all colors allowed (I never wear turquoise color or bright orange like the nigras do!)? How about length -- is 2 inches okay -- the Bible doesn't say! What about glitter, or little painted unicorns?

Please let me know, my dear sisters! Give my tormented soul some peace!


XOXOXOXO

Bertha V.


Last edited by Bertha Vanacion; 03-31-2013 at 04:42 PM. Reason: My fingernails got in the way while I was typing and made me mess up!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Brother Harold Porter's Avatar
Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
Landover Senior Outreach
Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Bronze Tither True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ Friend of Jesus Ex-Gay Flat Earth One Year/1000 posts Ex-liberal Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Tagging for Jesus Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork True Republican Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Saved 5 Years 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Stamp of Approval The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Public Awareness Medal Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts BFF of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Asked questions later Trump of GOD True Heterosexual™

 
Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 03-31-2013, 04:48 PM

Such foolishness is prohibited in the Porter home. Always turn to God's Word for guidance, young lady.

Proverbs 31:30 "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."

Psalm 119:37 "Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way."

Just be happy with the gifts you have. God could have decided you didn't deserve all ten fingers when you were born.

In Christ


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Bertha Vanacion's Avatar
Bertha Vanacion Bertha Vanacion is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Truck Stop Ministry Member

 
Posts: 42
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Gargling Gulch, Texas
Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 03-31-2013, 04:49 PM

In case you were curious, here is a picture of how I have them painted today to celebrate our Lords reincarnation! Praise Him!

Name:  V_EasterNails.JPG
Views: 187
Size:  43.1 KB


XOXOXOXO

Bertha V.


Last edited by Brother Harold Porter; 03-31-2013 at 04:52 PM. Reason: Re-sized picture to conserve God's bandwidth
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 03-31-2013, 06:28 PM

Those are nice nails, Bertha, but I don't know why a duck and bunny are represented and not our Dear, Sweet, Savior's image. What about doing something like this to show your love and gratitude?



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Alexandria Puckett's Avatar
Alexandria Puckett Alexandria Puckett is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture

 
Posts: 253
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Taking care of my babies!
Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 03-31-2013, 07:49 PM

Hmmm, I use clear nail polish that strengthens the fingernails, but that's about it. I feel like press on nails would make it harder to clean, buuut that's just me I suppose. I'm going to say it's on the same line as make-up.


But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Kitchen Keepin's Avatar
Kitchen Keepin Kitchen Keepin is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Cleanest Kitchen Real American™ Most Obedient Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus True Republican

 
Posts: 137
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Versailles KY
Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 03-31-2013, 09:06 PM

I buff mine until they shine a soft pink after scrubbing my house all day. I don't want my husband to see dirt under my nails! A short natural nail is what Jesus prefers.


Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican

 
Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
BelieverInGod is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.BelieverInGod is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 03-31-2013, 09:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexandria Puckett View Post
Hmmm, I use clear nail polish that strengthens the fingernails, but that's about it. I feel like press on nails would make it harder to clean, buuut that's just me I suppose. I'm going to say it's on the same line as make-up.
I don't use any polish at all.

Not sure how any hard working True Christian™ woman could have nails so long. I've torn two just today.


Drama queen
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Alexandria Puckett's Avatar
Alexandria Puckett Alexandria Puckett is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture

 
Posts: 253
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Taking care of my babies!
Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Alexandria Puckett has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 03-31-2013, 11:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
I don't use any polish at all.

Not sure how any hard working True Christian™ woman could have nails so long. I've torn two just today.
I know! Isn't that just the worst? Thats why I use the strengthening stuff, but breaking nails is just a sign you are doing good work.
Geez, I love cleaning.


But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 04-01-2013, 02:34 AM

Greetings Sister Bertha,

I hope you are well on this, HIS re-birthday.

It is my belief that nails that are tastefully done are perfectly fine. Why, I, myself have my nails done in a nice French manicure once week just in case HE returns. After all, I want to look my best since I will be HIS bride in Heaven.

You are very wise to avoid the bright colors that the nigresses wear and you also wouldn't want to be mistaken as a lot lizzard.

BLESSINGS!

Sister Thumper

P/S: I do think a little something extra is perfectly appropriate for special occasions such as Christmas, weddings, Easter and Baptisms.
Attached Images
  




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Bertha Vanacion's Avatar
Bertha Vanacion Bertha Vanacion is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Truck Stop Ministry Member

 
Posts: 42
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Gargling Gulch, Texas
Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Bertha Vanacion has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 04-01-2013, 02:54 AM

How lovely those nails are, Ms. Johnson! I just fell on the floor and started speaking in tongues, ravished by the Holy Spirit when I saw them! My hair is just ALL out of balance now. My, my, my!!!!!

You know, the thought had never crossed my mind as to what we should be wearing when Jesus returns to collect all our righteous souls. It is REALLY REALLY such an IMPORTANT question! I think we ought to start a new thread on this very subject, don't you?! I'm so excited I'm going to do that right now!!!


XOXOXOXO

Bertha V.

Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Rachel White Rachel White is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Posts: 17
Join Date: Apr 2013
Rachel White is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Rachel White is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 04-02-2013, 04:22 AM

I rather file down my nails until they are smooth and keep them presentable. Press-on nails seem to get in the way of scrubbing the floor.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Mary Thompson's Avatar
Mary Thompson Mary Thompson is offline
True Christian Lady™, Certified Best Friend of Jesus
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Cleanest Kitchen Most Obedient Real American™ Pro-Life Paula Deen Negro Support Group Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Homemaker Most Obedient In Love With Zeke True Christian™

 
Posts: 653
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Freehold, Iowa, God's Nation!
Mary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: WWJD -- Lee Press-On Nails - 04-02-2013, 07:04 AM

My Husband told me to not wear press-on nails, so I don't, no questions asked, and anyway, I imagine it would make cleaning a lot more difficult.
YIC
Mary Thompson.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved