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Reload this Page Breathalyzers and spirometers: sodomy in disguise!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Angry Breathalyzers and spirometers: sodomy in disguise! - 06-12-2014, 05:06 AM



Oral sex is a pivotal part of homersexual seduction and provides an easy access to the innermost sanctuary (gut) of a man and promptly and inevitably leads to anal pleasures followed ultimately by the rectal/colonic entry of SATAN. The widespread seductive practices of the homersexual conspiracy include the positive representation of homers in media, acceptance of “gay marriage” and the gaming industry.

Other, more subtle but devious methods are, however, emerging. Lately, I was driving casually along a motorway and pulled aside by a law enforcer. As I am a law-abiding citizen (Romans 13:1-6, Titus 3:1), I had nothing to fear.


SO I THOUGHT. I WAS WRONG.

After a curtsy and somewhat unfriendly greeting, the officer instantaneously stuck a flesh-like tube at my face and commanded me to “BLOWinto the tube. The initial shock was so great that I actually went ahead and blew into the policeman’s cylindrical cannula. We all know what “blowing someone” signifies in the gayhomer dialect. It is the metaphor for oral penetration. And as the policeman withdrew his tube I could observe that, also visually, the device was shaped almost exactly the same as a manly tallywhacker. Even the size matched pretty well my own proud male member of Hope and Glory. Thoughts I had been able to suppress for years, even decades, suddenly cascaded over me and only with the strictest of control was I able to put them aside and continue my journey (obviously, the pointer did not stir in the least as I always drive with a sober brain and a clean mind).


Beware of Breathalyzer tests, Brethren! The tube gives your lips 1. stimulation and the texture is 2. highly reminiscent of human skin of the nether regions. For a young boy or an adolescent it can be 3. massively seductive. The innocent mind starts 4. to crave for the labial feeling more and more and, inevitably, homersex ensues first 5. in its oral form and soon also 6. rectally.


God WARNS against this with the words of the Prophet:
Ezekiel 21:31 And I will pour out mine indignation upon thee, I will blow against thee in the fire of my wrath, and deliver thee into the hand of brutish men, and skilful to destroy.

I think that refusing these oral fornications even if required by the police is the duty of all True Christian™ men. If may lead to arrest and a blood test but that is a small prize to pay, as the risks are formidable.

A similar threat concerns those who seek the advice of secular godless medicine. I understand that from time to time it may be necessary to consult a secular (Jooish) physician to ensure bodily existence in the world until rapture. As we know, there is no danger of falling from grace for True Christians™ and occasionally I have seen a secular (Jooish) doctor after much prayer and pastoral guidance. In these cases I’ve been answered that my continuing missionary work is more important than an immediate entry into Heaven (which can wait for a little longer) and in these cases secular medicine can be cautiously applied.

I am no longer sure of this.




I was asked to undergo a test for lung function and capacity. And, again, I was supposed to blow into a tube. This time, the tube was much larger in diameter. And, again and alas, my initial confusion was such that I actually submitted to this examination. The mouthpiece is of such diameter that it is only encountered among the Hamites regarding tallywhackers. You really have to stretch your lips to make an airtight ring of your mouth’s sphincter. It is impossible to avoid sodomistic thoughts and memories from entering your mind.

And this risk is not restricted to MEN. Also women have been observed to take these tests. This leads to oral stimulation of their husbands, loss of valuable semen that no longer can beget future soldiers for Christ and it is, thus, basically a form of cannibalism!





Just look at the image above! The arrows clearly show the route by which the demons enter this poor elderly lady's mouth and corrupt her!




I am not going to see a secular godless (albeit Jooish) doctor any more. I advice, Brethren, that you do the same. The hours of prayer and contemplation required to cleanse my thoughts would have been used better to enhance the coming of Christ and/or praying for the dismay of heathens.

Hark! This is happening everyday on our roads and at our hospitals. This is real!

It is such BLASPHEMY of the Word of God. Just LOOK at what the Holy Breath is used for in the BIBLE:

John 20:22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost:

Breath is supposed to be of spiritual significance, to elate us and help us receive the Holiest of the Holy, our LORD. It is the back door that SATAN previously used to enter a SINNER’s body. Now he has recruited also the mouth and BREATH to enter and, as a result, convert young gullible boys into homersex.

Ramifications:
1. During the process of blowing the policeman’s tube I experienced a ‘stirring’ and an unfortunate voiding of my bulbourethral glands leading to unnecessary extra laundry for my wife. I emphasize that no true loss of my precious seeds took place.
2. All this is connected to the worldwide epidemic of mandatory “homer marriage”. The sales of breathalyzers for home use have peaked in the past few years simultaneously with the increase of “homer marriages”.
3. The “medical condition” called “asthma” is probably caused by demons constricting the airways to prevent their removal by exhalation. I’d be VERY suspicious of asthma medication as it is principally in the form of inhalations, gases and powders that could contain the seeds of new demons.


Yea! The END is near!

Revelation 18:2 - And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer G. White


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Breathalyzers and spirometers: sodomy in disguise! - 06-12-2014, 08:52 AM

When a member of the constabulary proffered one of these to me, I initially refused. He told me I would be arrested if I didn't 'blow'. I tried to explain that I was a True Christian™ who followed the advice in Titus 2:3 and that I drank wine only in small quantities. He didn't want to know and produced a set of handcuffs! What would the Ladies of Landover (LOL) have to say if I was seen in handcuffs? So I had to blow his tallywhacker (oops I mean breathalyser tube) right there in my car!


Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
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Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is online now
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,031
Join Date: Apr 2014
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Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Breathalyzers and spirometers: sodomy in disguise! - 06-12-2014, 09:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
When a member of the constabulary proffered one of these to me, I initially refused. He told me I would be arrested if I didn't 'blow'. I tried to explain that I was a True Christian™ who followed the advice in Titus 2:3 and that I drank wine only in small quantities. He didn't want to know and produced a set of handcuffs! What would the Ladies of Landover (LOL) have to say if I was seen in handcuffs? So I had to blow his tallywhacker (oops I mean breathalyser tube) right there in my car!


Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
Your experience is outrageous! This certainly did not take place in Freehold, did it?! Are there any other safe places left for True Christian™ ladies (or men) to drive?! This also shows the disrespect and lack of trust that law enforcement these days has: it should be obvious that it is totally futile to suspect perfect True Christians™ of these petty misdemeanors.

Proverbs 20:1 Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Breathalyzers and spirometers: sodomy in disguise! - 06-12-2014, 09:50 AM

Certainly not in Freehold! The local law enforcement prohibits such obscene devices.
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