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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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True Christian™ Magazines -
10-21-2006, 10:36 PM
I have some suggestions for healthy Top-shelf Christian© Male reading on those odd occasions when not indulging in the Bible(KJV1611).
These Magazines are available from The Freehold Newspaper Store (Top Shelf or from under the counter) from next month.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-21-2006, 10:37 PM
Here's another...............
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-21-2006, 10:38 PM
And another...........
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-21-2006, 10:41 PM
I think this should be handed out to our True Christian™ Single men..............
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-21-2006, 10:44 PM
Sister T, those magazines seem a bit, shall we say, racy for our church folk. Are you certain they have been cleared by Pastor Pistle? I'm a junior member on the Freehold Censorship Board, and I don't recall any of those being vetted....
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-21-2006, 10:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Sister T, those magazines seem a bit, shall we say, racy for our church folk. Are you certain they have been cleared by Pastor Pistle? I'm a junior member on the Freehold Censorship Board, and I don't recall any of those being vetted....
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Ah...erm...yes, well................sworn to secrecy I'm afraid. I should have said "Under the counter only" Isn't that right Pastor Al?
Al?
AL!!!???
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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compassion personified
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-21-2006, 11:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
And another...........
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These magazines should be read by our True Christian™ daughters as well as True Christian™ men. Each magazine is a cautionary tale; for Esther it was a short journey from baring a naked ankle to flashing an unbound breast at sailors - and soon she traded her Biblical name for one that represented her true nature: Lilith.
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Night Hag
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,231
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Enzed
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-22-2006, 03:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers
These magazines should be read by our True Christian™ daughters as well as True Christian™ men. Each magazine is a cautionary tale; for Esther it was a short journey from baring a naked ankle to flashing an unbound breast at sailors - and soon she traded her Biblical name for one that represented her true nature: Lilith.
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You exaggerate,Mrs R.
I may have been known as many things but never Esther - even I draw the line at that!
Are you sure those magazines are a good idea?
It's just that some christian menfolk can get overexcited,which leads to....problems,they not being noted for great self control.
And there might be a risk of a heart attack,with any sort of lu..um great excitement.
In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-22-2006, 04:58 PM
Well Lilith, we True Christians™ must try and keep up with the times.
Why, while out walking today a group of Jehoover Wit-lesses dumped this into my hand.
Pure Filth!!
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man On the point of being banned for lying and libel
Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 317
Join Date: Oct 2006
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 02:03 AM
This thread is wrong on so many levels...
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 02:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish
This thread is wrong on so many levels...
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As is your papist mary-worshipping cult. Enjoy hellfire idolator.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
True Christian™
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Posts: 989
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 02:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Fish
This thread is wrong on so many levels...
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i no Miss.Tailitha not post no altarboy magazines for your viewin pleasures , but you not needs to pass your Mr.Pope Hefner judgemints on our threads!
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 02:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
I think this should be handed out to our True Christian™ Single men..............
Attachment 269
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Definitely.
Two copies, or three. Every TC™ man should know what to look for in a good pair of 'bountiful bloomers'.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Night Hag
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Posts: 1,231
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Enzed
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 03:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish
This thread is wrong on so many levels...
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Which sort of begs the question WHY are you reading it then?
In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 04:18 AM
No doubt to catch a glimpse of some fine matronly bloomers.
Umm.....I'd be a little worried if I were Glendora or Mrs Rogers....
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 07:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
No doubt to catch a glimpse of some fine matronly bloomers.
Umm.....I'd be a little worried if I were Glendora or Mrs Rogers....
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...And I'd be a lot worried if I were YOU, Ms. Hellbound! Jesus clearly hates you, otherwise you'd be Saved by now.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 12:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
No doubt to catch a glimpse of some fine matronly bloomers.
Umm.....I'd be a little worried if I were Glendora or Mrs Rogers....
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I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have become a bit plump and matronly as of late.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 12:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have become a bit plump and matronly as of late.
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Not anymore!
And I do NOT wear bloomers.
I assumed True Christian™ ladies like Mrs Rogers and Glendora would favor the full Victorian undergarment. Them being so....ladylike and all.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 03:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Not anymore!
And I do NOT wear bloomers.
I assumed True Christian™ ladies like Mrs Rogers and Glendora would favor the full Victorian undergarment. Them being so....ladylike and all.
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I don't know about her undergarments, you'd have to ask Elmore about that, but that red white and blue sequence dress Glendora wears to church is pretty impressive.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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compassion personified
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
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Re: True Christian™ Magazines -
10-23-2006, 07:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Not anymore!
And I do NOT wear bloomers.
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Knickerless hussy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I assumed True Christian™ ladies like Mrs Rogers and Glendora would favor the full Victorian undergarment. Them being so....ladylike and all.
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I am not going to take your underwear bait, Mrs. Van HellsunkenChest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
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Enough of your outrageous lies - Jesus is watching, and weeping.
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