[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Following the explosion in transgender incidents across the country, there will be new safety rules in place for those enjoying Tin Tither membership. Women will be required to prove their gender, and if necessary sexuality, to members of the Security and Morals team upon entering the premises. The pastors have kindly made one of their private suites available for this purpose. If you don't like it, don't blame us - blame the transgenders.

[Dennis Lukes]

I was once a member of the noted forum Kiwi Farms, which maintains a rogue's gallery of the most malignant transgenders. The admin there required potential moderators to submit pictures of their genitalia, to screen out tranny infiltrators (fake p*****s and v*****s bear only a passing resemblance to the real deal, Joogle it if you don't believe me).

I"m not sure whether Pastor Zeke has this sort of policy here on the LBC forum. However, I'm not surprised that Dr. Toole has volunteered to be the resident p***y inspector at the LBC campus. Who got stuck with d**k inspector? I'll bet nobody wanted to do that. Brother Larry? Uncle Rutherford?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

However, I'm not surprised that Dr. Toole has volunteered to be the resident p***y inspector at the LBC campus. Who got stuck with d**k inspector? I'll bet nobody wanted to do that. Brother Larry? Uncle Rutherford?

I think a medical background would be necessary to provide cover provide the best assistance to our Tin Tither clients.

[Uncle Rutherford]

<sigh>If need be, I can inspect the penises. After chaperoning the past three boys retreats, I suppose it would be suffice to say I know what I’m doing.

[MitzaLizalor]

Will there be a position on pronouns?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

Will there be a position on pronouns?

Thou, thee, thy, thine, ye, you, your and yours. Seniors will be referred to as Sir, as in "Yes Sir", or "Ma'am" as in "Yes Ma'am". I think that about covers it unless there are any other cases that are relevant.

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

Thou, thee, thy, thine, ye, you, your and yours. Seniors will be referred to as Sir, as in "Yes Sir", or "Ma'am" as in "Yes Ma'am". I think that about covers it unless there are any other cases that are relevant.

Dr. Toole, what is thy policy for so called "non-binaries?" Unlikely to appear at the doors of LBC, but it does sometimes happen that tin tithers spare the rod and wind up with kids who rebel against the Lord. Say an androgynous looking teenager shows up, how would ye determine whether thou or Brother Uncle should be the one to determine if it's a girl or a boy?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

Say an androgynous looking teenager shows up, how would ye determine whether thou or Brother Uncle should be the one to determine if it's a girl or a boy?

Do you have a pic?

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

Do you have a pic?

Well it was just a hypothetical scenario, but, uh... how about xir?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

Well it was just a hypothetical scenario, but, uh... how about xir?

"You will respect my identity. You will use my pronouns"... I think Brother Rutherford can check this one.

[WWJDnow]

Whenever anyone asks me for my personal pronouns, I respond, "his worshipfulness/his worshipfulness'." That usually shuts them up. Moreover, it's true. While I'm not as great a Christian as Pastor Zeke or Donald Trump (then again, who is?), I worship at least three or four times a day. It's just the way I roll.

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

Whenever anyone asks me for my personal pronouns, I respond, "his worshipfulness/his worshipfulness'." That usually shuts them up. Moreover, it's true. While I'm not as great a Christian as Pastor Zeke or Donald Trump (then again, who is?), I worship at least three or four times a day. It's just the way I roll.

Fortunately I've never been asked that question. My masculinity is so readily apparent that it's beyond all doubt. For someone to ask, they'd have to be insinuating that I'm either the world's worst-passing male tranny, or the world's best-passing female tranny. Call me a tranny at your own peril.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Perhaps we at Landover Baptist have assumed trans people will not try to sneak in and pollute out Godly religious services. We should not always assume the best in people, especially those trying to pass as the incorrect gender.

X-rays inspecting bodies are no doubt off limits in our Godless society. Are there dogs trained to detect trans people? It's a little unpleasant to think of dogs sniffing about and barking when they find what they are looking for. Nevertheless, it is important our services at Landover Baptist are pure so that Jesus is pleased.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Perhaps we at Landover Baptist have assumed trans people will not try to sneak in and pollute out Godly religious services. We should not always assume the best in people, especially those trying to pass as the incorrect gender.

X-rays inspecting bodies are no doubt off limits in our Godless society. Are there dogs trained to detect trans people? It's a little unpleasant to think of dogs sniffing about and barking when they find what they are looking for. Nevertheless, it is important our services at Landover Baptist are pure so that Jesus is pleased.

Yes, for Goodness' sake, dear Brother Mayor Hold: there are most certainly trained dogs for this very purpose. I am attaching a couple of photos to attest to this. We can't take chances on something so important! And, I'm also including a video clip. I think it would be a very good idea if hired specially-trained security guards for the bathrooms!

[its_faith]

This is a great idea. And be vigalent about the Sherwyn Williams paint chip so no darkies slip thru!

[WWJDnow]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

Fortunately I've never been asked that question. My masculinity is so readily apparent that it's beyond all doubt. For someone to ask, they'd have to be insinuating that I'm either the world's worst-passing male tranny, or the world's best-passing female tranny. Call me a tranny at your own peril.

I sometimes wonder what kind of tranny I would have been had I made that lifestyle choice. Thankfully, as a 127% heterosexual, Christian man, this is just idle speculation that makes no real difference. But I do think I would have looked quite fetching in a low-cut evening gown.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

I sometimes wonder what kind of tranny I would have been had I made that lifestyle choice. Thankfully, as a 127% heterosexual, Christian man, this is just idle speculation that makes no real difference. But I do think I would have looked quite fetching in a low-cut evening gown.

I know if I were a tranny I would wear practical shoes. That is, no stilettos.

[WWJDnow]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

I know if I were a tranny I would wear practical shoes. That is, no stilettos.

If I had a keister as shapely as yours, Mr. Mayor, I wouldn't have needed the high heels, either. But a girl's gotta look good, no matter how high the price.

No homo.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

If I had a keister as shapely as yours, Mr. Mayor, I wouldn't have needed the high heels, either.

Well, thank you Brother Dnow. By the way, have you seen those slacks Pastor Zeke has been wearing? Must take him a while to get those things on! But, of course, he is in the preachin' business. Gotta look the part.

[MitzaLizalor]

Looking the part is one thing. But reinterpreting so-called retro themes to ill effect is something else altogether. Take a look at these. (For deference to family members who may be reading I'm limiting this to two examples.)



FOR HIM
What could be more revolting than this? The posture is "mincing" not "retro" but even so were The State standing essentially in loco parentis, for this wretch on work placement, the indigo note in the cravat is enough to assure us that Zeke will not be preaching in any such outfit soon.

FOR HER
Words fail me.

Don't photographers have gauges to detect this sort of thing? Indigo, magenta, cyan, lavender, red-green-blue balance and so on? Altogether apart from postures when "relaxing" with "friends" they're not your friends really, are they. And you're not relaxing. You're prowling, yearning to kill lions. Lions like Pastor Flint who, although he understands these subtle [NOT] cues, will withstand through the storm Matthew 7:25 assuring our safety at Church even in the face of demon-hatched agendas. Never forget that Jesus confirmed demons as real and that He had the power to remove them, so that no Pastor working in His name will be demon possessed and will never turn up in an indigo paisley cravat.