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Talking Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 03-08-2013, 04:19 AM

Don't bet on it!



May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 03-08-2013, 04:21 AM

Is that guy some kind of joo?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 03-15-2013, 03:43 AM

Why do men always die before their wives?
Because they want to.
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Smile Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 03-15-2013, 10:54 AM

My experience has been that if a wife's usefulness diminishes, that she will often go off into the night like a cat and curl up and die far away from home. Ususally no one can find them. It is Gods Will. Two of my wives jumped down capped off adbanoned wells.
If a female is unable to bear children for Jesus, she is of no value and the shame would be insurmountable.

Isaiah 54:1
Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord.

Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Very, Very important!!!!
Exodus 23:26
There shall nothing cast their young, nor be barren, in thy land: the number of thy days I will fulfil.

Exodus 21:22-25
22 If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine.
23 And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life,
24 Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,
25 Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.

Finally, Gods own words, telling us of how worthless a female is if she is unproductive.
1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Rememeber, when a chicken no longer produces eggs, that birds' neck is wrung and the carcass is cooked. It is all part pf His Magnificent Plan™.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 03-15-2013, 10:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
My experience has been that if a wife's usefulness diminishes, that she will often go off into the night like a cat and curl up and die far away from home. Ususally no one can find them. It is Gods Will. Two of my wives jumped down capped off adbanoned wells.
If a female is unable to bear children for Jesus, she is of no value and the shame would be insurmountable.

Isaiah 54:1
Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord.

Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Very, Very important!!!!
Exodus 23:26
There shall nothing cast their young, nor be barren, in thy land: the number of thy days I will fulfil.

Exodus 21:22-25
22 If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine.
23 And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life,
24 Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,
25 Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.

Finally, Gods own words, telling us of how worthless a female is if she is unproductive.
1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Rememeber, when a chicken no longer produces eggs, that birds' neck is wrung and the carcass is cooked. It is all part pf His Magnificent Plan™.
Agreed. Praise the Lord's magnificent plan!
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Default Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 03-16-2013, 03:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
My experience has been that if a wife's usefulness diminishes, that she will often go off into the night like a cat and curl up and die far away from home. Ususally no one can find them. It is Gods Will. Two of my wives jumped down capped off adbanoned wells.
If a female is unable to bear children for Jesus, she is of no value and the shame would be insurmountable.

Isaiah 54:1
Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord.

Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Very, Very important!!!!
Exodus 23:26
There shall nothing cast their young, nor be barren, in thy land: the number of thy days I will fulfil.

Exodus 21:22-25
22 If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine.
23 And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life,
24 Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,
25 Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.

Finally, Gods own words, telling us of how worthless a female is if she is unproductive.
1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Rememeber, when a chicken no longer produces eggs, that birds' neck is wrung and the carcass is cooked. It is all part pf His Magnificent Plan™.
The Hutchins' plantation has so many good places for a bad wife to hide while she ceases to breathe out of shame.

It was far more merciful during Biblical times when an adulteress was simply executed. Liberals are so cruel.

The vigilantes who stoned my ex-wife Ethel to death for her lesbonic fornications and pornographic profanations and her phallic idolatry were acting out of mercy, although it was not nice of them to breach secular law, since all authorities are appointed by God, even traitorous Voodoo despots like Obama.

My sons and I would never do such a thing.


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Wink Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 05-26-2013, 09:56 PM

No, I don't plan on outliving her. I plan on doing conjugal relations skeleton shrimp style: *** link to child porn deleted ***

Last edited by Zechariah Smyth; 05-26-2013 at 11:05 PM. Reason: Removed child porn link.
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Default Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 05-26-2013, 11:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Invisible View Post
No, I don't plan on outliving her. I plan on doing conjugal relations skeleton shrimp style: *** link to child porn deleted ***
Please do not link to perv sites.



YiC,

Zech


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Default Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 05-26-2013, 11:09 PM

Dying before your wife seems very impractical to me. Who would cook, clean and shoo away annoying visitors? I cannot imagine anyone wanting to live longer that his wife.


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Default Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 05-27-2013, 02:02 AM

I hav been praying for my wife to die for years now.


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Default Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 05-27-2013, 02:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Dying before your wife seems very impractical to me. Who would cook, clean and shoo away annoying visitors? I cannot imagine anyone wanting to live longer that his wife.
Oh I dunno, Brother Cranky. My bachelor life has been fairly enjoyable so far. My 14 year old Indonesian houseboy does for me. He services me in every way imaginable.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Dipper Dude Dipper Dude is offline
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Default Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 07-02-2013, 05:39 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Oh I dunno, Brother Cranky. My bachelor life has been fairly enjoyable so far. My 14 year old Indonesian houseboy does for me. He services me in every way imaginable.

LOL, Good laugh before I hit the sack.
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Love Jesus Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 09-24-2016, 03:01 PM

No, I don't plan to outlive her. It's not very manly for that to happen. When I married her, I decided this wouldn't happen. I want to prolong my lineage with a big brood, but I wanted her to have all the burden of looking after them, so I decided I would get her pregnant with our fifth and then she would give me a short cut to Heaven (the needle, as Texas uses to knock off criminals) whilst *** vulgar expression referring to fornication removed***. We are expecting our fifth, so fairly soon....
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I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Husbands: Do you plan on outliving your wife? - 09-24-2016, 03:07 PM

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Originally Posted by someoneshady View Post
No, I don't plan to outlive her. It's not very manly for that to happen. When I married her, I decided this wouldn't happen. I want to prolong my lineage with a big brood, but I wanted her to have all the burden of looking after them, so I decided I would get her pregnant with our fifth and then she would give me a short cut to Heaven (the needle, as Texas uses to knock off criminals) whilst making love. We are expecting our fifth, so fairly soon....

Mr. Shady I am afraid that you are off to a very bad start. These Baptists do not maintain facilities for those with mental deficiencies. I doubt you will be well received.


Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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