Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Christian history forum
Reload this Page Jesus: The Missing Years.
Christian history forum This forum is dedicated to the history of Christianity, and its impact on the history of the world.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Jesus: The Missing Years. - 04-27-2022, 08:00 PM

There’s not much doubt that there are pieces missing from the Bible, for example, what was Jesus doing between being born and explaining God to the Rabbis in the Temple at age 12 (or 4,016 if you calculate from the Creation)? Or what happened between then and Jesus’s sudden appearance aged about 30?

Edelhoffer, in his treatise “Das Bisher verborgene Leben im Himmel von Jesus dem Retter und die Entscheidung auf die Erde zu kommen, zusammen mit Seinen Jugendjahren” (pub. 1826 Wurzberg Presse – German only and out of print) suggested that between birth and 12, Jesus went to the local school during the day and helped his father at weekends.

Edelhoffer postulated that, at school, as Jesus is God, he would not have told anyone but He would known everything and would be wiser than the teachers, He would either have become headmaster by the age of 8 at the latest, or been beaten by the wicked owner out of spite and envy. Edelhoffer concluded that as Jesus’s suffering as a child would have been in the Bible, then this confirms his career in education, which then leads neatly to Jesus’s teaching the Rabbis in the Temple.

Name:  Jesus in school.jpg
Views: 64
Size:  93.3 KB

As far as helping with the carpentry is concerned, Jesus would have been a poor son to Joseph had He not used His miracles for particularly difficult pieces like rocking chairs, coffee tables, or tie racks. And because He is God, this didn't affect His Grades.

Name:  Jesus Carpenter.jpg
Views: 61
Size:  76.8 KB

However, my main point here concerns the omission of stories about Jesus’s existence in Heaven before that first Christmas in Bethlehem,when God changed His Mind about having humans in Paradise and required someone to go to Earth and offer places in Heaven for those willing to accept His suggested, and now radically improved, lifestyle.

This was to be a fantastic marketing campaign in which either God, Jesus, or The Holy Spirit would make an appearance on Earth – live among the people and then temporarily die only to make a miraculous recovery.

We can imagine all the brainstorming sessions that took place between the Trinity as they decided how to tell the history of the World,the Universe, and Everything in Book Form – How many books in the Bible? How many chapters and verses, whether to have an Apocrypha or not, which prophets to use, how much genealogy, etc? And when it came to the New Testament, the plan had to be foolproof: the right amount of parables; the right amount of miracles; the tie-ins with the Old Testament; the way the Jews (and particularly the Pharisees and the Sadducees and the Scribes) were no longer singing from the same hymnbook as God.

Name:  Jesus Trinity.jpg
Views: 60
Size:  131.3 KB

But the main points would be “Who’s going to Earth? And how were they going to get there?”

Now God would have pointed out that, although time is meaningless to him, traditionally His Part of The Trinity is pretty old and is expected to descend only to Major Prophets on mountainsides, and that,furthermore, anyone who looked upon him would instantly die. He explained that people dying every time He tried to give the Word would not be an efficient method of getting people to buy into the New Deal, as they would be dead before they agreed. There was also the question of His previous appearances: Yes, they had been to prophets, but even with them street-preaching, the Children of Israel tended to drift away from Him. When this happened, He had to inflict wars, droughts, famine, cannibalism, great thunderbolts, etc., and pestilence,and still mankind got it wrong. God added he couldn’t be away from the business for too long and mentioned that Angels got annoyed – and look what happened last time – all that trouble with Satan.He sat back on his Golden Throne and added that, as They had agreed, about a third of human lifetime was needed.

The Holy Spirit would explain that as rings of fire, He would certainly attract attention and although He could do disembodied voices(See the Burning Bush), it was going to be hard to crucify Him, and that half of Jerusalem could burn down in the process – not to mention injuries to Roman Soldiers. He added that nobody wanted trouble with the Romans as the subsequently claims for compensation would be a distraction to the goal of “The Mission Statement”.

Jesus suggested that The Holy Spirit go to Earth in His other form… a dove. God and the Holy Spirit looked at each other and they both replied “Doves are sold in the Temple. Who’s going to listen to a dove? A dove is your daily sacrifice – we need something impactful.”

God and The Holy Spirit then looked at Jesus. He was relatively young; His job in heaven was sort of “general”, there were no known hazards associated with Him, and God added “It’ll be the work of a moment. We’ll hardly know that you’re gone before you’re back.”

The question then arose of how Jesus should arrive on Earth. Jesus thought that “Sort of appearing in Jerusalem” would be a good idea, but the other two of the Trinity said “but we’ve/I’ve agreed on the whole backstory – don’t tell us that ten thousand years was a waste of time. There’s only one way, and that’s to be born.”

And so it was. God slipped away from heaven one night and “knew”Mary in a very Spiritual and Holy way.

Name:  Jesus Joseph Mary.jpg
Views: 61
Size:  87.8 KB

I think this sort of thing would help people with their comprehension of the background to the infallible Word of the Bible and the rise of Christianity to be the only real religion on the planet and in the universe.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Joanna Lytton-Vasey's Avatar
Joanna Lytton-Vasey Joanna Lytton-Vasey is offline
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
 

Christian Love Heaven Bound Most Obedient True Christian Lady True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Kirk Cameron Fan Club Touched by Jesus Quiverful Cleanest Kitchen Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls One Year/1000 posts The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Grammar Nazi Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico Hands Off Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award In Love With Zeke Pro-Life Ex-eurotrash Persecuted Stamp of Approval Mower Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Crown of Incorruptibility God's chosen ones Anti-Biden True Christian Beauty Midget porn survivor Crown of Rejoicing

 
Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus: The Missing Years. - 04-27-2022, 08:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Edelhoffer postulated that, at school, as Jesus is God, he would not have told anyone but He would known everything and would be wiser than the teachers
If true, rather than a mere postulation, one can see that Our Beloved Lord's suffering began extremely early. Can you imagine the sheer boredom of a 5-year-old boy being "taught" stuff that He had already known since the beginning of Creation, and the good manners required to conceal His frustration? I speak as the mother of many boys.


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Sons of Liberty Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 12,123
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus: The Missing Years. - 04-27-2022, 08:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
If true, rather than a mere postulation, one can see that Our Beloved Lord's suffering began extremely early. Can you imagine the sheer boredom of a 5-year-old boy being "taught" stuff that He had already known since the beginning of Creation, and the good manners required to conceal His frustration? I speak as the mother of many boys.
It's hard for any of us to imagine how slowly those early years must have passed for Jesus. He knew fame awaited Him but knew pain was coming as well.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Dr. Anthony J. Toole's Avatar
Dr. Anthony J. Toole Dr. Anthony J. Toole is offline
An old soul
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Pro-Life Donald Trump 2016! Mission to Messico Touched by Jesus Christian Love Protected by JESUS Teabag Patriot Alternative Facts TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian True Scientist™ Doctor Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! True Christian™ Real American™ True Republican BFF of Jesus Ex-eurotrash True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Friend of Jesus Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD The Lord’s Witness Wound Persecuted Prayer Warrior Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Ex-liberal QAnon Storm Chaser Tool of God Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Sweet Toole Verified by Jesus Gold Tither Eats the Most Pork Saved 10 Years Platinum Tither Kirk Cameron Fan Club Stamp of Approval Crown of Glory

 
Posts: 5,204
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus: The Missing Years. - 04-28-2022, 02:03 AM

There is irrefutable Biblical evidence that Jesus was a wealthy male in His late fifties-early sixties. Based on His proclivity for pronouncing on things, He would have almost certainly been a leading political commentator in the style of Rush Limbaugh, or Sean Hannity, or Joe Rogan.

I have read absolutely scandalous blasphemy that the lack of information about Jesus' "missing years" - decades in total - could be explained if He was in fact very young, 20 at most. As Sister Joanna pointed out, knowing everything does make it kind of a drag to sit through primary school, and someone must have noticed the arrogant little prick kid with all the answers that called Himself messiah and backed it up with miracles over the years. Apparently not. Definitely not. None worth mentioning anyway.

No, like our Pastors and senior members of leadership, Jesus was an elderly white male given to long speeches and correcting others' mistakes.


Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Philemon's Avatar
Philemon Philemon is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 74
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Limbo, Belgium, Europe
Philemon is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Philemon is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Jesus: The Missing Years. - 04-28-2022, 03:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
when God changed His Mind about having humans in Paradise and required someone to go to Earth and offer places in Heaven for those willing to accept His suggested, and now radically improved, lifestyle.


Sir Bathfire,


I have a question. Does this mean that between Adam and Eve and the first True Christian nobody entered heaven? So Iit took app. 3000 years before Heaven got populated again?


I have three questions more:
How many souls/beings were in heaven before Adam and Eve?
How many between there exile and the Birth of Baby Jesus?
How many between the Birth and today?


Yic,


Phil


John 10:9
I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall goe in and out, and find pasture.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved