[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by WickedWitch

[INTERRUPTION]

I have been TOUCHED by HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!!

[/INTERRUPTION]

RAmen sister

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Jo Feddie

RAmen sister

She's bonkers! She has noodly appendage on the brain.

[WickedWitch]

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire

Point out where and I will wipe it off with a linen napkin.

Why? It's fine right where it is!

Originally Posted by Jo Feddie

RAmen sister

RAmen! *Points to Freddie* I like him, we should keep him for a while.

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

She's bonkers! She has noodly appendage on the brain.

Yeah, well, deprivation will do that to a person. Especially a nymphomaniac. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE A CELEBATE NYMPHOMANIAC?!

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

She's bonkers! She has noodly appendage on the brain.

A sign that she has accepted the Sauce unlike the rest of you

Originally Posted by WickedWitch

RAmen! *Points to Freddie* I like him, we should keep him for a while.

Just for a while?

Originally Posted by WickedWitch

Yeah, well, deprivation will do that to a person. Especially a nymphomaniac. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE A CELEBATE NYMPHOMANIAC?!

You will be rewarded with a magnificent Stripper Factory tailored to your needs.

But why do you choose celibacy? The Eighth I Really Rather You Didn't states:

I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Beware!!!

[Jo Freddie]

An Announcement Regarding the Afterlife

1. An ancient and venerable sage spoke unto the Pastaists of all the divisions, unto the Noodleists, and unto the Maranarists, the Fettucinians, the Pastafarians, and all of the great Pasta-based members of the Holy and Delicious Faith, and said:
2. It is my contention that a loving God of any kind would not Damn someone to Hell.
3. Condemning them to Hell would be a problem for a supposedly intelligent creator.
4. Lakes of fire, boiling waters, sauces, etc, aren't a good choice.
5. If you want to attract "justified" persons, portray just rewards and punishments.
6. If you want to attract lunatics and sadists, portray violent punishments.
7. All those that have led a life with a kind heart and good intent will enter Heaven
8. They will have the finest pasta, wondrous beverages, strippers perfectly suited to their needs, and a fantastic view of the stage.
9. For those who have not lived a life lives with a kind heart and good intent, they will enter Heaven Light.
10. Those will be divided from the Pasta, the finest beverages, the best strippers, they will have a very restricted view of the stage and will be denied the fellowship of persons of good will and kind intent.
11. They will do all the laundry, cleaning and heavy or unpleasant jobs in the service industries for Heaven.
12. Never will they eat of the Pasta of any kind, but will live on lots of beans and rice, potatoes and extremely cheap cuts of meat, and the type of diet that the urban poor can afford, or that Senior Citizens and disabled persons on Social Security are reduced to.
13. For those who have been particularly mean there is Heaven Extra Light.
14. They get the really icky dirty work.
15. The bullies of the geopolitical world will be there, and their helpers.
16. The false religious leaders, who plead for funds, and give nothing of their true selves, and hoard the money and live in opulence, they will be there, and their helpers.
17. Many others of ill-intent will be with them.
18. There is a reservation there for the tricksters and the con-men, who will begin every work day by licking clean the footwear of every indigenous person, whose lands have been stolen from them, even those in Heaven Light.
19. Also there will be the promulgators of the horrible practices against the peoples of every country ever "modernized" by Western Civilization.
20. No Hell, no boiling lakes of fire, just an appropriate 'reward'.
21. No more lunatics and sadists, please.
22. Other people have other ideas, but then again other people are promoting Holy War, too.
23. Don't do that in the name of our FSM.
24. That's not the Way to Do Things Right.

[Jo Freddie]

The very cheek of it, I mean how very dare you?!
what am I going on about?

Well it is this abomination...
"Nutjob Meatball Worshiper"

I am not one of those people that worships the trinity as separate deities. I worship God in his complete form, The Meatballs, The Pasta AND The Sauce! Any two without the third is not God, nor is any one without the other two.

Let us have a look at all the awards the people here seem fit to have given me.

Hellbound Heathen
Cancer on Society
Full of it
Caution - Poster is Crazy
Nutjob Meatball Worshiper

Now the first 4 I just ignored as they mean nothing of any import. BUT the latest one......

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Jo Freddie

The very cheek of it, I mean how very dare you?!
what am I going on about?

Well it is this abomination...
"Nutjob Meatball Worshiper"

I am not one of those people that worships the trinity as separate deities. I worship God in his complete form, The Meatballs, The Pasta AND The Sauce! Any two without the third is not God, nor is any one without the other two.

Let us have a look at all the awards the people here seem fit to have given me.

Hellbound Heathen
Cancer on Society
Full of it
Caution - Poster is Crazy
Nutjob Meatball Worshiper

Now the first 4 I just ignored as they mean nothing of any import. BUT the latest one......

I don't see the difference. Worshiping a meatball or worshiping spaghetti. Both are false idols.


Genesis 35:2 (King James Version) 2Then Jacob said unto his household, and to all that were with him, Put away the strange gods that are among you, and be clean, and change your garments:


Exodus 20:3-5 (King James Version) 3Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 4Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;


Exodus 20:23 (King James Version) 23Ye shall not make with me gods of silver, neither shall ye make unto you gods of gold.


Exodus 23:13 (King James Version) 13And in all things that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth.


Leviticus 19:4 (King James Version) 4Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.


Leviticus 26:1 (King James Version) 1Ye shall make you no idols nor graven image, neither rear you up a standing image, neither shall ye set up any image of stone in your land, to bow down unto it: for I am the LORD your God.


Deuteronomy 4:16 16Lest ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female,


Deuteronomy 4:19 19And lest thou lift up thine eyes unto heaven, and when thou seest the sun, and the moon, and the stars, even all the host of heaven, shouldest be driven to worship them, and serve them, which the LORD thy God hath divided unto all nations under the whole heaven.


Deuteronomy 4:28 28And there ye shall serve gods, the work of men's hands, wood and stone, which neither see, nor hear, nor eat, nor smell.


Deuteronomy 27:15 (King James Version) 15Cursed be the man that maketh any graven or molten image, an abomination unto the LORD, the work of the hands of the craftsman, and putteth it in a secret place. And all the people shall answer and say, Amen.


1 Samuel 15:23 (King James Version) 23For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.


2 Kings 18:4 (King James Version) 4He removed the high places, and brake the images, and cut down the groves, and brake in pieces the brasen serpent that Moses had made: for unto those days the children of Israel did burn incense to it: and he called it Nehushtan.


Psalm 115:4-5 (King James Version) 4Their idols are silver and gold, the work of men's hands. 5They have mouths, but they speak not: eyes have they, but they see not:


Isaiah 42:17 (King James Version) 17They shall be turned back, they shall be greatly ashamed, that trust in graven images, that say to the molten images, Ye are our gods.


Isaiah 45:20 (King James Version) 20Assemble yourselves and come; draw near together, ye that are escaped of the nations: they have no knowledge that set up the wood of their graven image, and pray unto a god that cannot save.


Jeremiah 19:4-5 (King James Version) 4Because they have forsaken me, and have estranged this place, and have burned incense in it unto other gods, whom neither they nor their fathers have known, nor the kings of Judah, and have filled this place with the blood of innocents; 5They have built also the high places of Baal, to burn their sons with fire for burnt offerings unto Baal, which I commanded not, nor spake it, neither came it into my mind:


Ezekiel 23:37 (King James Version) 37That they have committed adultery, and blood is in their hands, and with their idols have they committed adultery, and have also caused their sons, whom they bare unto me, to pass for them through the fire, to devour them.


Acts 17:29 (King James Version) 29Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man's device.


Romans 1:22-23 (King James Version) 22Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.


Romans 1:25 (King James Version) 25Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.


1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (King James Version) 9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.


1 Corinthians 8:1-13 (King James Version)1Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth. 2And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know. 3But if any man love God, the same is known of him. 4As concerning therefore the eating of those things that are offered in sacrifice unto idols, we know that an idol is nothing in the world, and that there is none other God but one. 5For though there be that are called gods, whether in heaven or in earth, (as there be gods many, and lords many,) 6But to us there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we by him. 7Howbeit there is not in every man that knowledge: for some with conscience of the idol unto this hour eat it as a thing offered unto an idol; and their conscience being weak is defiled. 8But meat commendeth us not to God: for neither, if we eat, are we the better; neither, if we eat not, are we the worse. 9But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak. 10For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol's temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols; 11And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? 12But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ. 13Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend.


1 Corinthians 10:7 (King James Version) 7Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them; as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.


1 Corinthians 10:14 (King James Version) 14Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry.


1 Corinthians 10:20 (King James Version) 20But I say, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils.


1 Corinthians 12:2 (King James Version) 2Ye know that ye were Gentiles, carried away unto these dumb idols, even as ye were led.


1 Peter 4:3 (King James Version) 3For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:


1 John 5:21 (King James Version) 21Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.


Revelation 2:14 (King James Version) 14But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication.


Revelation 2:20 (King James Version) 20Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.


Revelation 9:20 (King James Version) 20And the rest of the men which were not killed by these plagues yet repented not of the works of their hands, that they should not worship devils, and idols of gold, and silver, and brass, and stone, and of wood: which neither can see, nor hear, nor walk:


Revelation 21:8 (King James Version) 8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins

I don't see the difference. Worshiping a meatball or worshiping spaghetti. Both are false idols.

[Drivel from the book of fairy tales removed]

I worship no false gods, I leave the worshipping of those to you Billy Boy, I would hate to pinch your gig.

Our Lord Noodle, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, The Meatballs, The Pasta AND the Sauce IS Our Creator and the REAL God,

[Brother Temperance]

No-one cares about your lame pesto cult, or cous-cous religion, or whatever it is that you Sikhs worship. You are a Sikh, right?

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

No-one cares about your lame pesto cult, or cous-cous religion, or whatever it is that you Sikhs worship. You are a Sikh, right?

No.

But like you they also indirectly worship Our Lord Noodle.

2:1 The Flying Spaghetti Monster speaks through all religions, deities, and prophets, and all religions, deities, and prophets are conduits to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.