Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Pastor Zeke's News Wire
Reload this Page Spam text message explodes suicide bomber
Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Brother Enoch's Avatar
Brother Enoch Brother Enoch is offline
The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™

True Christian™ Ex-Mary Worshipper Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Saved 1 Year One Year/1000 posts Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Tin Tither Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted Flat Earth Eats the Most Pork Honorary Ex-Eskimo True Republican Anti-sodomy

 
Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Spam text message explodes suicide bomber - 01-29-2011, 11:30 PM

Bwahahahaha!



I laughed so hard I almost lost consciousness when I read this.

Quote:
A terrorist plot in Moscow was foiled New Year’s Eve when an unexpected text message reportedly detonated a suicide bomber’s explosives prematurely, Russian security told The Daily Telegraph.
The “Black Widow” bomber, who may belong to the group that attacked Moscow’s Domodedovo airport on Monday, planned to set off her suicide belt near Red Square, potentially killing hundreds of people, the newspaper reported.
Instead, security sources believe that a text message wishing the woman a happy new year from her mobile phone provider set off the explosives hours before the planned attack, The Daily Telegraph said.
News agencies said the bomber, who has yet to be identified, was killed and the building destroyed by the blast, but that another man and woman possibly connected to the plot managed to escape.
Yay SPAM!!!!!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Benedict A. Davis's Avatar
Benedict A. Davis Benedict A. Davis is offline
Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Silver Tither One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Christian Love Flat Earth Tell her once Real American™ Persecuted Teabag Patriot Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Spam text message explodes suicide bomber - 01-29-2011, 11:53 PM

In a way this is a shame. We can no longer say that spam is totally useless.


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Levi Jones's Avatar
Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
 

True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Gunfest '06 Tithing Manager Saved 1 Year Pastor of GOD One Year/1000 posts Senior Pastor Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Tell her once Persecuted Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers 2010 Witch Hunt Award Pro-Life Outreach preacher Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Public Awareness Medal Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Long service medal, 3rd class True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Touched by Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Hands Off Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Saved 5 Years Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Spam text message explodes suicide bomber - 01-30-2011, 12:17 AM

I know a miracle when I see one!

Shout glory!


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Titus Templeton's Avatar
Titus Templeton Titus Templeton is offline
Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
Jesus macht frei
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Gold Tither Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life One Year/1000 posts True Christian Artist True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Heart of compassion Eats the Most Pork Truck Stop Ministry Member Donald Trump 2016! Mower Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Spam text message explodes suicide bomber - 01-30-2011, 05:57 PM

Maybe it was her daily quran verse who blowed her up.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
loveforchrist's Avatar
loveforchrist loveforchrist is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth True Christian Caucasian

 
Posts: 138
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Wrapped in the love of God!
loveforchrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.loveforchrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.loveforchrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.loveforchrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.loveforchrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.loveforchrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.loveforchrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.loveforchrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.loveforchrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.loveforchrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Spam text message explodes suicide bomber - 01-30-2011, 06:30 PM

I am reluctant to say this text was spam. It was obviously from GOD
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Spam text message explodes suicide bomber - 01-30-2011, 06:38 PM

I have mixed feelings here. On one hand, a suicide bomber got taken out by Jesus and His Android. On the other hand, many Godless commies that would of gone to Hell are still among us. The suicide bomber was doomed anyways. Not like any Real Americans® would of gotten hurt.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Oakland "Reb" Griner Oakland "Reb" Griner is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ Bronze Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Real American™ One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Tell her once

 
Posts: 2,216
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: West of Eden
Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Spam text message explodes suicide bomber - 01-30-2011, 06:41 PM

So the terrorist HQ ordered her to blow herself up on her birthday?

Damn, those folks need a better union . . .




Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved