Easter Week. Jesus is reminiscing about His Glorious time on the Cross that Saved us all. What do the Papists do? No surprise: They do their utmost to hurt His feelings. The once reasonably decent Papist Prime Minister of Godless Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, does the unthinkable. He turns vegetarian, starts to house lambs to "Save them" and during the course of all this, violates Baby Jesus as if He were a common beast.
Mr. Berlusconi is a wealthy businessman not unlike our beloved President Trump. He
knows that women are
harlots (Ecclesiastes 7.26), who only wish to use him for their
carnal desires.
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For instance, in April 2011, he said: "When asked if they would like to have sex with me, 30% of women said, 'Yes', while the other 70% replied, 'What, again?'"
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He used to know how
sodomy could
destroy a man (1 Timothy 1:10).
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More bluntly, in November 2010 Mr Berlusconi hit out with the following: "It's better to like beautiful girls than to be gay."
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He used to know that the Catholic
"Saints" are
idolatry (1 Thessalonians 1:9).
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As allegations swirled about escorts and "Bunga, bunga" parties, Mr Berlusconi admitted: "I am not a saint, you've all understood that."
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Despite being a repulsive Papist, he was
on the verge of becoming a
True Christian™. If only he had fought a little bit longer he could have ruled the world with our President
Trump and Mr.
Putin.
It is
all lost now. First, Mr. Berlusconi became a
vegetarian. What did God say about
dietary habits?
Genesis 9:3
Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.
How does Mr. Berlusconi
react to this direct order from
God?!
Quote:
Billionaire Berlusconi 'saves' Easter lambs from slaughter after declaring himself a vegetarian as he tries to revive his political career- Former Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi has saved five lambs from Easter slaughter
- Was pictured cuddling, kissing and feeding the lambs with a baby's bottle
- The political leader, whose career has been dogged by a series of scandals, surprised his friends when he declared he was becoming a vegetarian last year
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As proven by the verse above,
vegetarianism alone would be suspicious but unfortunately we must also review his obsession with
cuddling and kissing. Mr. Berlusconi was raised a
Papist. He must be dimly aware of the existence of the
Bible. He may have heard a "Father" tell him (in between thrusts) that it is not all that right toi have
carnal intercourse with beasts.
Deuteronomy 27:21
Cursed [be] he that lieth with any manner of beast. And all the people shall say, Amen.
Amen. [Please, say "Amen" at this point of your reading]
That was
strike two. Now it's time to ponder
why he would choose lambs to cuddle, why he would find them the most alluring partners in
fornication.
Jesus can tell us the answer.
Isaiah 40:11
He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.
It is clear that Mr. Berlusconi is identifying himself with
Jesus, gathering the lambs in
his bosom. Can it get any worse? It
can, and
Jesus will tell us why!
John 1:29
The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.
1 Peter 1:19
But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:
Finally, it is
clear why Mr. Berlusconi is doing all this. He is ravishing
Sweet Jesus. Jesus is the Lamb. Mr. Berlusconi is desiring to
fornicate with
Christ! How would
you feel if
you were in the middle of
your busy Easter Celebrations, going through the engraved image albums of
your crucifixion, remembering the cool moldy breeze in the cave, the intimate but slightly rough feel of the linen on
your mistreated body, the short rest on the stony ledge of the Tomb, the voice of the silly women outside of the Sepulchre searching for
you with
you giggling in the shadows, the stupid Thomas probing
your stigmata? And,
suddenly, an
80-year-old Papist man with badly dyed hair and the world record of facelifts suddenly lifts
you up and starts to kiss
you with his withered collagen-filled lips!
In essence,
you'd be having conjugal relations with
your Savior.
And can
Mr. Berlusconi really "Save" anyone? Of course not, only
Jesus can!
Acts 4:12
Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
Another potential True Christian™ leader lost! Fortunately,
Jesus will get His
revenge one day! SOON!
Revelation 17:14
These shall make war with the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them: for he is Lord of lords, and King of kings: and they that are with him are called, and chosen, and faithful.
And all this during the
Easter Week! How low can the Catholics go!?
Yours in Christ,
Elmer