[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

... how well is the fund raising going?

Is Mistress Cookie handling that? Let's hope Mistress Cookie is handling that.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Didymus Much

Is Mistress Cookie handling that? Let's hope Mistress Cookie is handling that.

She was supposed to facilitate a loan from the Aircraft fund. Then she disappeared.

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

Well that depends on how well the fund raising is going... how well is the fund raising going?

Well, the RNC has yet to respond to my request for $20 million. I asked Donald on Truth Social, his response too is, I presume, forthcoming. AIPAC offered some money but I told them where they could shove it. Then they told me my candidate will never hold office in the Virgin Islands or anywhere else. I tried to take up a collection in church but have since been informed by legal counsel that this is a federal crime. So I spent the money on gas, thanks Biden. Also I bought some Slim Jims, beer, and a Powerball ticket. After that I emptied out my wallet into your campaign fund, which currently stands at $11.31.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

3

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

AIPAC offered some money but I told them where they could shove it. Then they told me my candidate will never hold office in the Virgin Islands or anywhere else.

Why those dirty hooknose... Americans, they always put their nose in other peoples' business. Let's shut the shower door and drop the Zyklon-B on AIPAC's offer. Tell them in those exact words - I think it will make a powerful point.

I tried to take up a collection in church but have since been informed by legal counsel that this is a federal crime. So I spent the money on gas, thanks Biden. Also I bought some Slim Jims, beer, and a Powerball ticket. After that I emptied out my wallet into your campaign fund, which currently stands at $11.31.

Not to worry Brother. That $11.31 will grow with the magic of compound interest into a giant sequoia of funding for political candidates. Dare we presume to call it the Lukes Cash Money fellowship for best sophomore selected by the namesake? Your Her His Her prize is 3 nights at the Motel.

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

Not to worry Brother. That $11.31 will grow with the magic of compound interest into a giant sequoia of funding for political candidates. Dare we presume to call it the Lukes Cash Money fellowship for best sophomore selected by the namesake? Your Her His Her prize is 3 nights at the Motel.

Grand news! I ejected some guests from my motel for logging onto the wifi and using it to stream episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race. In the struggle, they left behind a briefcase containing some $500 in cash! Dr. Toole, there are some great things we can do with this money towards your campaign. For instance, we could put the $400 down on a sure thing at the dog track. Another thing we could maybe do with the $300 I found is buy up some advertisements in local newspapers in the Virgin Islands demonizing your opponent, Stacey Plaskett. It's also possible we could use this $200 windfall as a sign on bonus for some temps, because running a campaign is actually really hard. Now that I think about it, the $100 I came across really isn't a whole lot of money to do stuff with. We need more money.

So yeah, the campaign war chest right now is $61.31