Brethren and females! Obviously the mainstay of this jolly good Forum -
Jesus's Favorite - is to advertise Him and His
Wrath against all Creation (Revelation 19:21), but in anticipation of the Rapture, we still need to do some extremely
Manly stuff, home improvement, lawnmowing, reparations
etc., and the females will need to know which item to buy at the grocery store. Fot that aim, I'm starting this thread of
True Christian™ product reviews: What to buy and use and what will turn you into
irrevocable Blasphemy (Matthew 12:31). I'll star with a warning. Quite a few
felame humans
complain about the
nasty time of the month when trhey should remain secluded. They have "crampitons" and "bloatings/boatings" (<- never figured that out). Anyways,
evil drug dealers are promoting product to alleviate the symptoms - but with
disastrous side effects, as follows:
OK,
alleviating the pain turns people gay. This means that
Jesus does
not want to alleviate pain. He has designed this to be a Life of Suffering (Luke 14:26). The product above contains
acetaminophen, which is highly likely to be the agent that turns the women to interfemale sodomy. Beware. All females Sinned (Genesis 3:6) and
deserve pain (no-one knows what a Noph is):
Ezekiel 30:16
And I will set fire in Egypt: Sin shall have great pain, and No shall be rent asunder, and Noph shall have distresses daily.
But, I would also like to recommend a
nice product, my favorite for
furniture improvement. You know how slippery table surfaces cause all nice items, such as
ashtrays and elegant champagne
flűtes to fall on the floor which causes initial nagging until the female finally clears the shards. For that, I can heartily recommend this Godly Product:
After bringing the Gaytop to my house, no more scratches on the pristine tabletops, any smears have become easy to clean and the Gaytop produces just enough friction allowing everything to stay firmly on the tabletop during
all activities. Your Table will be easy to maintain for
Jesus:
Malachi 1:12
But ye have profaned it, in that ye say, The table of the LORD is polluted; and the fruit thereof, even his meat, is contemptible.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer