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Default Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-16-2006, 12:03 AM

False Christian cult killed off by toilet worship
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sindependent
Sometimes, the best survival instincts can be deadly. According to intriguing new research by an international team of Biblical scholars, the religious sect associated with the Dead Sea Scrolls may have been done in by its own scrupulous toilet habits.
The Essenes, who established an ascetic community at Qumran on the north-western shores of the Dead Sea, rejected the common Bedouin practice of relieving themselves in the open. Instead, they assigned a dumping ground about half a mile from their community and buried their waste there, believing the practice to be more hygienic.
All that effort, though, appears to have been counterproductive. The parasites and harmful bacteria associated with human waste would have been quickly killed off by the desert sun had they remained above ground. Once buried, they could survive and thrive, creating a toxic environment that infected members of the Essene sect as they walked to and from their toilet area. The parasites almost certainly bred in a special cistern used in religious cleansing ceremonies, providing a compelling reason for the early deaths of many Essenes.
"Some people might laugh, but it is terribly sad," one of the scholars, James Tabor of the University of North Carolina, told the Los Angeles Times. "They were so dedicated and had such a strenuous lifestyle, but they were probably lowering their life expectancy and ruining their health in an effort to do what is right." The toilet research conducted by Dr Tabor and his colleagues stemmed, curiously, from a much broader controversy over the authorship of the Dead Sea Scrolls. Several scholars have questioned whether the Essenes really wrote them, or even if they ever established a community at Qumran.
The toilet area is now an important piece of evidence linking the Qumran site to the Scrolls and thus belies recent theories that, for example, the Scrolls were hidden in the caves at Qumran by Jews from Jerusalem fleeing the oppression of Roman occupation.
The toilet also provides a compelling explanation for earlier research into the Qumran cemetery, which established that barely one in 20 bodies buried there had survived to the age of 40. Cemeteries from the same period excavated near Jericho have shown that, more typically, half the population would survive beyond 40.
"The graveyard at Qumran is the unhealthiest group I have ever studied in over 30 years," Dr Zias told the Times.
The Dead Sea Scrolls have been a constant source of fascination since their chance discovery by Bedouin tribesmen in 1947. They provide a rare, if not unique, insight into life and customs around the time of Jesus's life and death. They are also the only Biblical-era documents known to have been written before AD100. In other words, they predate the Gospels.
Seems like an open-and-shut case to me. You tell lies about God, He kills you. I don't need secular science to tell me that. By the way BJ, that Dr Tabor isn't a relative of yours, is he?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-16-2006, 03:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Brother Temperance View Post
i thinks them scientist folk are wrongs, cuz there no way lord God give bad poopin instruckshun in the bibles

Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad:
And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:
For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.
<--- that be deutronomy 23:12-14

or maybee lord God were settin them essence folk up to fails when He wroted that, cuz He saw thier evil futures an He thawt them deservin of death-by-poops?
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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-16-2006, 04:10 AM

Petal brings up a good point. Your bible says to do what they did, and they followed it, suprise surprise, they died.
More proof that the bible is full of sh*t



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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-16-2006, 07:47 AM

How dare you speak of the word of GOD® in such a disrespectful manner, witch! Don't you have shrubbery that needs molesting, anyway?

Brother Temperance is clearly right, those heathen false christians most surely brought righteous wrath on themselves by keeping a whole area of poop, most likely for perverted pleasures which took place after dark. They aren't fooling anyone!
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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-16-2006, 01:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Sorrow View Post
How dare you speak of the word of GOD® in such a disrespectful manner, witch! Don't you have shrubbery that needs molesting, anyway?

Brother Temperance is clearly right, those heathen false christians most surely brought righteous wrath on themselves by keeping a whole area of poop, most likely for perverted pleasures which took place after dark. They aren't fooling anyone!
Just the same as all those nigras Jesus punished last year in New Orleans, and the half million mudslimes He smited in Indoonesia. Glory I do love to see Jesus doing His thing.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-17-2006, 06:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Petal brings up a good point. Your bible says to do what they did, and they followed it, suprise surprise, they died.
More proof that the bible is full of sh*t
Nonsense! As Pastor Pistle has explained to you, the Bible doesn't say that you and your friends should poop together in jolly camaraderie. Nobody has ever accused us Landoverians of being party poopers.

It's quite simple, really: God will kill you if you poop in a pile or if you relieve yourself against the wall

1st Samuel 25:22 So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-17-2006, 11:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prune Danish View Post
It's quite simple, really: God will kill you if you poop in a pile or if you relieve yourself against the wall

1st Samuel 25:22 So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
Just in the middle of the road is still alright though, isn't it?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-18-2006, 07:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prune Danish View Post
Nonsense! As Pastor Pistle has explained to you, the Bible doesn't say that you and your friends should poop together in jolly camaraderie. Nobody has ever accused us Landoverians of being party poopers.

It's quite simple, really: God will kill you if you poop in a pile or if you relieve yourself against the wall

1st Samuel 25:22 So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
Sweet merciful crawdads, the idea

Quote:
Originally Posted by BT
Just in the middle of the road is still alright though, isn't it?
Bit late for you to worry about that now, isn't it? *snicker*



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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-16-2006, 04:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
A fitting end to false Christians if there ever was; destroyed by their own flith.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Seems like an open-and-shut case to me. You tell lies about God, He kills you. I don't need secular science to tell me that. By the way BJ, that Dr Tabor isn't a relative of yours, is he?
Yes he is. His previous bit of insite was how long the sinners of Soddom took to burn to death from the Lord's wrath.



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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-16-2006, 10:53 PM

But technically, don't you people aspire to follow the bible? And, as Petal said, weren't these people doing exactly that? So why are you glad to see them all die when they were doing what you people would have done?

I mean, I'll be thrilled if you're finally admitting that following the bible is idiotic and stupid, but since it can't possibly be that considering how brainwashed you are, I can only assume you have some other reason.



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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-16-2006, 11:15 PM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
But technically, don't you people aspire to follow the bible? And, as Petal said, weren't these people doing exactly that? So why are you glad to see them all die when they were doing what you people would have done?
No, if they had been following God's word correctly God would not have punished them with the parasites that destroyed them.



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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-16-2006, 11:57 PM

I'll quote what Petal said:

Quote:
Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad:
And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:
For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.
Quote:
<--- that be deutronomy 23:12-14

See? They were doing what the bible says to do, so then how do you explain it?



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Default Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus - 11-17-2006, 12:05 AM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
I'll quote what Petal said:

[b][/size]
See? They were doing what the bible says to do, so then how do you explain it?
The Bible tells everyone to use a separate spot each time, not for everyone to poop in a pile.


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