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Default Day 291 (according to the plan) Matthew 25-28 - 07-08-2014, 11:37 PM

Day 291. Matthew 25-28

Jesus starts today's reading with another parable. The Parable of the Ten Virgins, also known as the Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins. This story is missing from the other gospels. The story says to be prepared for Judgement Day.

Matthew 25:1 Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.

2 And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.


The 5 wise women took oil in their lamps, the foolish didn't. When their new husband showed up, the foolish couldn't light their lamps, but the wise could. So, the bridegroom went and had sex with the wise ones and left out the foolish ones.

13 Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

So, make sure you always have oil in your lamps because you never know when the Lord is going to show up and want to come.

Next Jesus tells the story of the 3 servants and the talents (a talent is about 130 lbs; it equates to a person's pay for 20 years).

To one servant the master gave 5 talents, he invested them and got 5 more. The master really liked that guy.

To another servant he gave 2 talents, who got 2 talents more. The master liked that guy.

To the third servant he gave 1 talent. The servant buried it, and didn't gain any interest. The master didn't like that guy. So he took his talent and gave it to the one who got 10.

29 For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.

30 And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.


Jesus is a fan of an aggressive investment plan.

Then Jesus talked about separating the people into sheep and goats. The sheep are good people, they feed the hungry, quench the thirty, give people a place to stay, clothe them, and visit them in prison. The goats don't do those things. If you are nice to the little people, it's the same as being nice to Jesus.

Sheep go into heaven, goats go into hell.

46 And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.


Matthew 26

Jesus then tells his disciples that he is going to be betrayed and crucified.

3 Then assembled together the chief priests, and the scribes, and the elders of the people, unto the palace of the high priest, who was called Caiaphas,

4 And consulted that they might take Jesus by subtilty, and kill him.


Josephus (a reputable source) says that Caiaphas was appointed in AD 18 by the guy who was prefect before Pontius Pilate.

Jesus was then visiting a friend in Bethany.

7 There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat.

After hearing what Jesus had just said about feeding the hungry and poor, and taking care of others, they were like "hey, lady, don't put that on him, sell it, and give the money to the poor!"

11 For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always.

So, even though you have no idea when the master is going to come, you should take care of the poor. BUT, if the master is there, then you give the master his due. The lady didn't know when Jesus was going to be there, so she invested and got the ointment for when the master arrived. The master got there, and she did her duty.

Judas then left and got 30 pieces of silver from the priests, to betray Jesus.

Then, they had the last supper.

21 And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me.

They were all like: "is it me?" Jesus said, well, it's one of you guys!

25 Then Judas, which betrayed him, answered and said, Master, is it I? He said unto him, Thou hast said.

There's further interesting accounts of this evening in later books.

Jesus is fond of saying "thou hast said". When he does, it comes across almost as a mocking kid saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

Then they went to the mount of Olives.

Jesus tells Peter that he will deny him.

Then they go to Gethsemane, he tells them to wait while he goes and prays.

39 And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.

Jesus (the man) didn't want to die.

He goes back and finds the guys asleep. He's sorta pissed about this. He knows he's got to die, and his guys can't even stay awake for a while. So he kicks them, and wakes them up, then goes away to pray again.

42 He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.

He comes back, and they are asleep... again...

44 And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.

Where exactly we get this information from is sort of confusing. Because if this is a first hand account of the situation, all the guys there were asleep, so who was it that recorded the words of Jesus?

Then Judas shows up, kisses Jesus, someone grabs a sword and cuts off someone else's ear. Jesus says, put away your sword...

53 Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels?

Which sounds an awful like when the devil was tempting Jesus in the wilderness.

Matthew 4:6 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.

7 Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.


So, all the disciples left, then Peter betrays Jesus 3 times.

They take Jesus to Caiaphas, and try to get someone to witness against him, no one does, finally someone says something about Jesus talking about destroying and rebuilding the temple, which gets Caiaphas to ask:

63 But Jesus held his peace, And the high priest answered and said unto him, I adjure thee by the living God, that thou tell us whether thou be the Christ, the Son of God.


And Jesus says...

64 Jesus saith unto him, Thou hast said: nevertheless I say unto you, Hereafter shall ye see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven.

I know you are, but what am i?

The priest accuses him of blasphemy, so they take him away.

Matthew 27

2 And when they had bound him, they led him away, and delivered him to Pontius Pilate the governor.

Pontius Pilate was in excellent shape from lots of stretching exercises. He was the fifth prefect of the Roman province of Judaea from AD 26-36. He served under Emperor Tiberius.

Judah then turns in the money, the priests don't want it, so...

5 And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.

He hanged himself.

The priests took the money and bought some land that was a potter's field. The place would be used to bury foreigners (non-Jews). After that, the term Potter's Field, is used for any place used to bury poor people or a common grave.

8 Wherefore that field was called, The field of blood, unto this day.

Well, today it's called Akeldama (or Aceldama, or Hakl-ed-damm). It currently has a monastery. It is actually called "the field of blood" unto this day. Isn't the BIBLE (KJV1611) AWESOME!!!

11 And Jesus stood before the governor: and the governor asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And Jesus said unto him, Thou sayest.

Really Jesus?

Pilate then asks Jesus some questions, that he doesn't answer.

15 Now at that feast the governor was wont to release unto the people a prisoner, whom they would.

Modern's, who don't believe the Bible is 100% correct, don't think that this would ever have happened. It is believed that Barabbas (or Bar-Abba, which is a great concept as no-one should have to listen to Swedish disco pop) was a person who led riots against the Romans. The Romans would NEVER let a person go who led a riot against them, let alone let a riot leader go, in exchange for a guy who blasphemed against something they didn't believe in.

Eccehomo.



24 When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but that rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it.

It's not Pilate's fault, he did what the people wanted.

25 Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children.


And this is why it's ok for us to hate the Jews.

Then they stripped Jesus, and did the Jesus Chainsaw Massacre.

34 They gave him vinegar to drink mingled with gall: and when he had tasted thereof, he would not drink.

Apparently, "vinegar with gall" was given as a merciful custom, so that people wouldn't feel as much pain. It could have been from myrrh, or wormwood, or even poppy (yay, heroin) Jesus didn't take it, because he wanted to be in as much pain as possible.



37 And set up over his head his accusation written, This Is Jesus The King Of The Jews.

...


46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

48 And straightway one of them ran, and took a spunge, and filled it with vinegar, and put it on a reed, and gave him to drink.

Now, some people just think that the vinegar was an insult. Like, here, you are thirsty... have some vinegar. Well, if Jesus was thirsty, he would have turned the vinegar (or spoiled wine) back into WATER!!! He's my saviour and he can do magic tricks BOTH WAYS!!!

50 Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost.

Then the veil of the temple ripped, and there was an earthquake, and graves opened, and saints walked around town! and everyone saw them! (this is not really mentioned in the other gospels, but it sounds like an awesome story, that i think i'd like to hear more about!)

Joseph of Arimathaea claimed the body, and put him into his own freshly dug hole. Then the priests had the romans seal the tomb.

Matthew 28

2 And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it.

Another earthquake? it's like they were fracking in Oklahoma City there or something!

Oh, the people who went were only Mary Magdalene and the other Mary.

9 And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him.

They went to tell, and ran into Jesus strolling around the garden, and they knew who he was.

Then, the priests paid off the guards to say that the disciples stole Jesus in the night, that the guards were sleeping (kind of like the disciples slept when Jesus prayed)

17 And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted.

Then Jesus gave them the GREAT COMMISSION!!!

19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.


Matthew has no idea what happened to Jesus after this.

So what did we learn today?

1. Invest your money wisely, so that you can lavish it on Jesus when he's there, instead of giving it to the poor.

2. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary; "Eli Eli, lama sabachthani"; Judas hanged himself.

3. There was a great earthquake. (there is no other reference to an earthquake during this period of antiquity).

YIC
V


Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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Default Re: Day 291 (according to the plan) Matthew 25-28 - 07-15-2014, 03:03 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother V View Post
Day 291. Matthew 25-28


3. There was a great earthquake. (there is no other reference to an earthquake during this period of antiquity).

YIC
V
More proof of the untrustworthyness of science and the vast conspiracy the atheists engage in to make the world produce the facts they base their conclusions on. Not only did the secularist edit out all references to this earthquake but they even went so far as to alter the geological record in the strata around Jerusalem to hide the Mark earthquake.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Day 291 (according to the plan) Matthew 25-28 - 07-15-2014, 03:42 PM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
More proof of the untrustworthyness of science and the vast conspiracy the atheists engage in to make the world produce the facts they base their conclusions on. Not only did the secularist edit out all references to this earthquake but they even went so far as to alter the geological record in the strata around Jerusalem to hide the Mark earthquake.
They will stop at nothing until the Glory and Wonder of Jesus has been relegated to myth not unlike that of Hercules or Thor.

But the Truth will Triumph! When Jesus comes back to the Mount of Olives (watch it live here, when it happens that is) with a firy sword in His Mouth, and an army of pissed off heavenly soldiers, who will have the last laugh?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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