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Default Day 114. 1 Chronicles 13-15 - 01-25-2008, 10:51 PM

1 Chronicles 13-15

Today we get retellings of the stories of:
  • David tries to back the ark
  • David's sons
  • David kills more Philistines
  • David tries to get the ark one more time

1 Chronicles 13

1 And David consulted with the captains of thousands and hundreds, and with every leader.

By consulted, they mean, "told exactly what he wanted to happen". It isn't as if when you are doing the WILL of the LORD that you can figure out what God wants by coming to a consensus with others. God either tells you what He wants you to do, or He doesn't. David probably just brought the people in to make them think that they were a part of the decision process.

3 And let us bring again the ark of our God to us: for we enquired not at it in the days of Saul.

Remember, the ark was in the house of Abinidab for at least 20 years.

Wait, did that just say that nobody enquired of it during the days of Saul?

1 Samuel 14:18 And Saul said unto Ahiah, Bring hither the ark of God. For the ark of God was at that time with the children of Israel.

Saul continually seems to get a bad rap so far in 1 Chronicles. First they say he didn't enquire of the LORD (he did, God was choosing to ignore him). Now they say he didn't care about the ark (once he was in a battle with the Philistines, he asked for the ark). Again showing their bias towards Saul, in favour of David.

7 And they carried the ark of God in a new cart out of the house of Abinadab: and Uzza and Ahio drave the cart.

Why did the son's of Abinadab drive the cart? Because everyone else was scared out of their minds to be anywhere near the ark. Remember what happened to the two towns with the hemorrhoids and mice. Remember what happened to the statue of Dagon.

9 And when they came unto the threshingfloor of Chidon, Uzza put forth his hand to hold the ark; for the oxen stumbled.

Uzza, the only person brave enough to touch the ark, got killed for it.

11 And David was displeased, because the LORD had made a breach upon Uzza: wherefore that place is called Perezuzza to this day.

In the first telling of this story, Uzza is spelled Uzzah; and Perezuzza is spelled Perezuzzah.

13 So David brought not the ark home to himself to the city of David, but carried it aside into the house of Obededom the Gittite.

I'm sure Obededom was more than happy to have this traveling box with God in it, in his house...

1 Chronicles 14

1 Now Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David, and timber of cedars, with masons and carpenters, to build him an house.

David gets his castle.

3 And David took more wives at Jerusalem: and David begat more sons and daughters.

David gets more wives.

David's boys (born in Jerusalem): Shammua, Shobab, Nathan, Solomon, Ibhar, Elishua, Elpalet, Nogah, Nepheg, Japhia, Elishama, Beeliada, and Eliphalet.

8 And when the Philistines heard that David was anointed king over all Israel, all the Philistines went up to seek David. And David heard of it, and went out against them.

The Philistines decided they had enough of David (remember, he had allied with them once against Saul).

10 And David enquired of God, saying, Shall I go up against the Philistines? And wilt thou deliver them into mine hand? And the LORD said unto him, Go up; for I will deliver them into thine hand.


David had a love/hate relationship with the Philistines. One day he's angry because they are mocking the LORD, the next he's making treaties, the next he's asking the LORD to help him go smite them.

11 So they came up to Baalperazim; and David smote them there. Then David said, God hath broken in upon mine enemies by mine hand like the breaking forth of waters: therefore they called the name of that place Baalperazim.

Interesting how they came to Baalperazim, and then changed the name of the place to Baalperazim.

13 And the Philistines yet again spread themselves abroad in the valley.

God had David sit under a Mulberry tree, when the leaves blew, that was a sign for David to attack, because the LORD was going before him, to go smite some ass!

16 David therefore did as God commanded him: and they smote the host of the Philistines from Gibeon even to Gazer.

Gibeon was a town north of Jerusalem. We aren't told where Gazer is located.

2 Samuel 5:25 And David did so, as the LORD had commanded him; and smote the Philistines from Geba until thou come to Gazer.

Geba was a Levitical city of Benjamin on the north border of Judah. Hmmm, Geba was near Gibeah. Gibeah and Gibeon are two separate locations.

1 Chronicles 15

1 And David made him houses in the city of David, and prepared a place for the ark of God, and pitched for it a tent.

David had his house built, so he builds a tentbernacle for the LORD.

2 Then David said, None ought to carry the ark of God but the Levites: for them hath the LORD chosen to carry the ark of God, and to minister unto him for ever.

That, and everyone else was pissing themselves whenever they thought about going near the ark (Philistines would get hemorrhoids).

14 So the priests and the Levites sanctified themselves to bring up the ark of the LORD God of Israel.

You don't wanna be bringing up the ark if you are unsanctified.

15 And the children of the Levites bare the ark of God upon their shoulders with the staves thereon, as Moses commanded according to the word of the LORD.

Why not make the Levites carry it, they didn't have any other jobs, other than ministering.

16 And David spake to the chief of the Levites to appoint their brethren to be the singers with instruments of musick, psalteries and harps and cymbals, sounding, by lifting up the voice with joy.

We all know how David loves his musick.

17 So the Levites appointed Heman the son of Joel; and of his brethren, Asaph the son of Berechiah; and of the sons of Merari their brethren, Ethan the son of Kushaiah;

Before he went off to fight Skeletor, Heman was the lead singer in the Levites (coming soon to a city near you; check ticketmaster for prices).

25 So David, and the elders of Israel, and the captains over thousands, went to bring up the ark of the covenant of the LORD out of the house of Obededom with joy.

David apparently thought that by singing and playing music, he could probably get God to not smite anybody on this trip.

27 And David was clothed with a robe of fine linen, and all the Levites that bare the ark, and the singers, and Chenaniah the master of the song with the singers: David also had upon him an ephod of linen.

Ephod = underwear.

29 And it came to pass, as the ark of the covenant of the LORD came to the city of David, that Michal, the daughter of Saul looking out at a window saw king David dancing and playing: and she despised him in her heart.

She was probably still missing Phalti. Or, she only first loved David because she knew it would anger her father. When Saul passed away, she no longer had reason to play the rebellious and thought about her decisions. As she started growing older and realized she was stuck with David (even though he was king) she hated that he remained youthful; while she turned into an old spinsterish bitch.

So what have we learned today (errr, RE-learned today)?

1. Don't touch the ark, even if you are the only one around who isn't scared to, just don't do it (unless your last name is Cohen or Lewinski).
2. If you are going to rename a place, you should at least... GIVE IT A DIFFERENT NAME!
3. Geba or Gibeon, doesn't really matter, they are both slightly north of Jerusalem... the real question is, where's Gazer?

YIC
V


Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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