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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
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Re: The problem with Canadians and other Europeans -
03-01-2009, 12:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers
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Pastor, are you going to leave us hanging, without finishing the story?
I still have 1/4 of my popcorn left, so it can't be over.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: The problem with Canadians and other Europeans -
03-01-2009, 12:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
Pastor, are you going to leave us hanging, without finishing the story?
I still have 1/4 of my popcorn left, so it can't be over.
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Then everyone dies.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
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Re: The problem with Canadians and other Europeans -
03-01-2009, 12:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Then everyone dies.
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I already knew that part. Jesus kills everybody, eventually.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: The problem with Canadians and other Europeans -
03-01-2009, 06:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar.
Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager of the bank (subsequently fired, of course, due his negativity) decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.
However, they cannot pay back the debts.
Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.
DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95%. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.
The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy; her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.
The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.
The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers
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The bank's risk manager was properly fired, but for the wrong reason. The risk manager should have issued credit default swap derivatives to keep the drinking going for a bit longer.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
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Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
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Re: Please Pray For Your Treasured A lie -
03-01-2009, 02:17 PM
Umm, so, does that mean that you're praying for me, Pastor Pistle?
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Please Pray For Your Treasured A lie -
03-01-2009, 07:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedWitch
Umm, so, does that mean that you're praying for me, Pastor Pistle?
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Not since you cheated Landover and therefore GOD out of our portion of the cheese!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
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Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
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Re: Please Pray For Your Treasured A lie -
03-01-2009, 08:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Not since you cheated Landover and therefore GOD out of our portion of the cheese!
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But nobody's given me a mailing address yet!
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
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Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
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Re: Please Pray For Your Treasured A lie -
03-06-2009, 04:21 PM
Way to go, Landoverites! Thanks to your awesome prayers (I'm assuming you were praying for me), I have an interview at 9:00AM on Tuesday 10th. Now we just need to pray that the interview goes in my favour! Thanks, guys!
Now, if someone will just let me know I should send this marvellous cheese I have, I would be delighted to mail it to you all.
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Please Pray For Your Treasured A lie -
03-06-2009, 05:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedWitch
Way to go, Landoverites! Thanks to your awesome prayers (I'm assuming you were praying for me), I have an interview at 9:00AM on Tuesday 10th. Now we just need to pray that the interview goes in my favour! Thanks, guys!
Now, if someone will just let me know I should send this marvellous cheese I have, I would be delighted to mail it to you all.
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If your interview is with JESUS, you have a problem. If it is with an adult and you look like this, there may be...ummm other issues.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
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Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
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Re: Please Pray For Your Treasured A lie -
03-06-2009, 06:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
If your interview is with JESUS, you have a problem. If it is with an adult and you look like this, there may be...ummm other issues.
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My only facial piercings are my right eyebrow (2), my nose (1), and my lip (1). The others are in my ears... and that other one that would never be seen at work, lol. So it's realy not that bad. I'd certainly never get to the extent that woman did! That's terrifying! Although I am thinking about donig my tongue next (but I've wanted that since I was 13, so who knows how long it'll be before I actually do it).
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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