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Default Cars Americans Should Own - 07-14-2010, 10:14 PM

I want to break America's dependency on foreign oil, so I have created a list of Patriot wagons that have very large fuel tanks capable of storing more gasoline at once, thereby reducing the number of times you have to fuel your vehicle in a week.

My 2008 Chevy Suburban is getting old and you can bet your bottom dollar the next car I purchase will be one off this list:

Cadillac Escalade: $60,685 - $84,098

I like this one, it's got plenty of room for storing rifles in the back, and with tires like those, you can drive over the roughest of potholes and still not spill your 64 ounce cola.

It can get up to 16 miles per gallon, which I think is very reasonable, especially in our struggling Obamaconomy.



Ford F150: $22,127 - $33,685

I like the roomy backseat in this one. Plus it will help win the culture war because it was made by Ford and they didn't take any bailout money.

The F150 is a lean, mean driving machine that delivers somewhere between 18 to 21 miles to the GODly gallon.


Dodge Ram: $28,388 - $41,525

Dodge sure does know how to build a manly truck. The BFT features an extra-wide body and is perfect for navigating tricky city streets and suburban neighborhoods, and it helps prevent accidents because it discourages people from passing you.

The Dodge Ram is an American dream, whether you're puttering around town getting 14 miles to the gallon, or cruising the open highway at 20 miles per gallon.

My only concern is that it might not fit in my garage.





Mercury Mountaineer: $28,983 - $36,425

Sport Utility Vehicles are a GODly invention and every American should own one or two of them. I am seriously looking at this one as my next purchase.

Like all SUVs, this little go kart won't disappoint the American family with its fuel economy. It gets between 14 to 25 miles per gallon.



Chrysler Town and Country: $25,175 - $35,060

This baby can haul a lot of people to church at once. I had the pleasure of driving one in Kansas, and it is aptly named. They can be kind of hard to navigate around the tight corners of a fast food drive-through, but entirely worth the extra space for the daily needs of an average American family.

The gas mileage runs about 17 MPG in town and 24 on the highway.




These are the absolute best cars you can buy right now. I encourage you to buy two or three, and drive everywhere. Walking is for communists!



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- Proverbs 15:3

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Last edited by Bob4God; 07-15-2010 at 01:21 AM.
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-14-2010, 10:38 PM

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Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
[...]These are the absolute best cars you can buy right now. I encourage you to buy two or three, and drive everywhere. Walking is for communists!
I heartily endorse those sentiments. Having traveled the world (and crossed into Canada once by mistake) I can tell you that the country with the best infrastructure is the country with the best economy.

No point having roads if you're not going to use them and when you have the best roads, why, it's natural to want to drive the best on them.

No point having a car that you have to squash into to an extent where the blood to your extremities stops, and who knows when you might be called upon to transport 3 chemical toilets, a dead moose or tow a woodchipper up a mountain?

Space - that's what people want - God gave space to America, God gave America large houses, large cars, large everything.

These snivelling, piss-ant foreign, so-called automobiles, 10 foot long, powerless and with their 65 mpg might be OK for 600 Million Eurofags stuck on a continent the size of Rhode Island but that is taking things to extremes - which is perhaps un-American. America demands the grunting power that only a 437 Cubic Inch piece of Detroit iron can spit out and realises that 25mpg is about as far as you can go without being seen as a homer.

If technology like that was good enough for my grandfather, it's good enough for me!





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-14-2010, 10:47 PM

Or, you could try a classic: Buick Riviera


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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-14-2010, 11:05 PM

I don't mess with any of these new fangled cars built past 1970. My blown Hemi Barracuda may only get 3 miles to the gallon, but I get where I'm going so quickly it's the same as having a 40 mpg go-cart built by the slants.

Praise Jesus for the Detroit of the Sixties!








Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 12:12 AM

The Jenkins Family Car



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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 12:28 AM

This is my car



Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 01:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa H View Post
This is my car

You know, those words never come out of a True Christian woman's mouth.



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 01:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
You know, those words never come out of a True Christian woman's mouth.
Don't you like my car.


Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 01:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa H View Post
Don't you like my car.
That's not your car. That's your father's car, or your boyfriend's.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 01:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa H View Post
Don't you like my car.
Women should not be driving. The world knew this once, but has slowly forgotten it over time.

Even the now GODless Brits knew it once, but nowadays their messages to the women of the world have become a laughingstock on modern-day Atheist TV shows:




The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


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Lisa H Lisa H is offline
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 01:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
That's not your car. That's your father's car, or your boyfriend's.
No. It is my car. It is a 1975 Torana. It has a V8 engine and a 5 speed manual gear box. They originally came out with a 4 speed gear box but mine has been modified.


Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 01:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa H View Post
No. It is my car. It is a 1975 Torana. It has a V8 engine and a 5 speed manual gear box. They originally came out with a 4 speed gear box but mine has been modified.
Why would a Christian girl need such a machine? Only a rabid bulldyke would drive a car like that.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Lisa H Lisa H is offline
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 01:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Why would a Christian girl need such a machine? Only a rabid bulldyke would drive a car like that.
Why would I want to drive one of those sissy homer 4 cylinder things.


Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 03:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa H View Post
Why would I want to drive one of those sissy homer 4 cylinder things.
Why would any Christian girl even want to drive?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 03:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa H View Post
Why would I want to drive one of those sissy homer 4 cylinder things.
I know you ride the short bus, Sister, but women are not to drive anything more powerful than a bicycle.

Are you suggesting that a woman should be in control of a vehicle upwards of a ton, or even two, at lethal speeds?

LOL!!

I thought I had heard it all.

But Bless you in Christ anyway!


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 03:10 AM

I drive an F350. There's a problem with that? Have you ever tried to put a pack of Rottweilers into a Smart Car? It doesn't exactly work.


Drama queen
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Nobar King Nobar King is offline
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 03:10 AM

You guys park on the lawn, down there?


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Lisa H Lisa H is offline
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 03:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
I know you ride the short bus, Sister, but women are not to drive anything more powerful than a bicycle.

Are you suggesting that a woman should be in control of a vehicle upwards of a ton, or even two, at lethal speeds?

LOL!!

I thought I had heard it all.

But Bless you in Christ anyway!
Brother Rubicon

Have you ever seen the look on a athiest hoon's face when been left for dead at the traffic lights by a Christian girl. That is something to laugh at.


Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-15-2010, 03:32 PM

Women driving is like women performing brain surgery or women handling guns.

It's just a bad idea.

There are manly activities and there are womanly activities. I certainly would not know how to knit a doily or remove tough stains from a pair of pants. And you know what, I don't WANT to know!

So what good excuse do women have for engaging in manly activities like driving a car or having a job?




The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


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Sister Charli Sister Charli is offline
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Default Re: Cars Americans Should Own - 07-16-2010, 02:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
I know you ride the short bus, Sister, but women are not to drive anything more powerful than a bicycle.
I gotta agree with Mr Rubicon Lisa.

True Christian ™ women do not drive cars.

As Mr Rubicon says .... you should get yourself a bike.

Here's the one Daddy bought me for my 40th birthday.



2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
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