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Default Please give schematics on your Amusement Park. - 02-24-2009, 01:12 AM

Even as an agnostic, I know the best way to gain followers is to provide some kind of reward, be it in physical or spiritual form. So why don't you give us the lowdown on the Landover Bible Theme Park and Red Sea World. Tell us unsaved all the great rides, attractions, shows, and food the saved of Freehold, Iowa receive in this wonderful park.

Provide brief descriptions on what one would expect at each attraction.
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Default Re: Please give schematics on your Amusement Park. - 02-24-2009, 01:18 AM

Your reward will be the lake of fire. No ticket needed.

Yours in Christ

Brother Lazarus


In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Default Re: Please give schematics on your Amusement Park. - 02-24-2009, 01:26 AM

I think I might not have been clear. On the "Beliefs" section of your Church's homepage, you mentioned:

Quote:
About Us (God's Favorite Church):
We are a Bible believing, Fundamentalist, Independent Baptist Church. We are 157,286 members strong. Our Church Campus is located in Freehold, Iowa and rests on 35 acres of some of the most beautiful country you'd ever care to set your eyes upon. Our church holds 28 paid pastors, 131 paid deacons, 412 full time staff members, LCA (Landover Christian Academy), LCU (Landover Christian University), 11 fully equipped chapels, Four 2,000 seat sanctuaries, Three 5,000 seat main sanctuaries, the world's largest Christian Mall, a Christian Amusement Park (Landover Bible Theme Park and Red Sea World), A PGA 18 Hole Golf Course, 3 Fitness Centers, 4 Olympic sized swimming pools, Landover Village, Landover Towers, Landover Retirement Community, Center For 2 Churches On Every City Block Foundation, Leviticus Landing (An Exclusive Gated Executive Christian Community for Platinum Tithers™), Exodus Acres (Gold Tithers' Gated Community), *27 Developments, Landover All Purpose Multi-Temple, Spa and Resort Center, Fire Department, 100,000 seat amphitheater, 12 Television studios, 2 radio stations, A Christian Circus Camp, Retreat Center for Republican Candidates, 3 Corporate Christian Office Parks, hot springs, 8 cemeteries, and 243 fully certified Christian police officers.
What I am simply asking is what kinds of rides and attractions a visitor would expect to find there.
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Default Re: Please give schematics on your Amusement Park. - 02-24-2009, 01:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CuriousAgnost View Post
Even as an agnostic, I know the best way to gain followers is to provide some kind of reward, be it in physical or spiritual form. So why don't you give us the lowdown on the Landover Bible Theme Park and Red Sea World. Tell us unsaved all the great rides, attractions, shows, and food the saved of Freehold, Iowa receive in this wonderful park.

Provide brief descriptions on what one would expect at each attraction.
Yes, I'm sure you'd like that - I suspect you are a rival theme park owner only too ready to steal the best ideas that God and man can invent.

Another point is that Jesus brought you here, and when you came, you were delighted by everything. You couldn't have been more delighted if you had been previously told of the wonders of Landover, so what would be the point of advertising it for thieves like you?





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Please give schematics on your Amusement Park. - 02-24-2009, 01:45 AM

Quote:
Yes, I'm sure you'd like that - I suspect you are a rival theme park owner only too ready to steal the best ideas that God and man can invent.
I'm only 19 years old; there is no way I could own a theme park. The reason I'm asking for what the specific attractions are due to the fact that most theme parks in the glorious land of America provide some hints of what to expect. I mean, check out this site of one Bible-theme park in Orlando:

http://www.holylandexperience.com/
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Default Re: Please give schematics on your Amusement Park. - 02-24-2009, 02:01 AM

Only Saved© individuals are permitted in our theme parks.

Why tempt you with pleasures of which you can never partake?


Pssst . . . I bet he's working for Six Flags. I hear they're on the brink of failure, and are probably trying to reinvent themselves to take advantage of the fact that 78% of Americans are Christians!


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Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

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Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!
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Default Re: Please give schematics on your Amusement Park. - 02-24-2009, 02:08 AM

First see my second paragraph
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuriousAgnost View Post
I'm only 19 years old; there is no way I could own a theme park. The reason I'm asking for what the specific attractions are due to the fact that most theme parks in the glorious land of America provide some hints of what to expect. I mean, check out this site of one Bible-theme park in Orlando:

http://www.holylandexperience.com/
I only have your word you're 19 and that you don't own a theme park. However, I note you were quick enough to come up with a website... a little bit of free advertising eh?

Well, Mr Themeparkowner, let me tell you that the tacky display of naked lust for money that you have shown me is a travesty of God's Word! I'm shocked that Mr Hinn would associate himself with that.

There was a nigra there too, playing his bongo - now tell me, was that before of after the flood? Because nigras only arose after the flood.

And James Wycliffe was there too - a man who was NOT inspired by God and thus produced a travesty of the Bible.
Quote:
1 In the bigynnyng God made of nouyt heuene and erthe.
2 Forsothe the erthe was idel and voide, and derknessis weren on the face of depthe; and the Spiryt of the Lord was borun on the watris.
3 And God seide, Liyt be maad, and liyt was maad.
4 And God seiy the liyt, that it was good, and he departide the liyt fro derknessis; and he clepide the liyt,
See! A mass of spelling mistakes - worse than the unsaved trash that comes here!


Did you see there were actors there? - All actors are well-known for being homers or homer-facilitators. Additionally, I suspect some of the "actors" were wearing mixed fibers.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Please give schematics on your Amusement Park. - 02-24-2009, 02:17 AM

Quote:
Well, Mr Themeparkowner, let me tell you that the tacky display of naked lust for money that you have shown me is a travesty of God's Word! I'm shocked that Mr Hinn would associate himself with that.

Err...Who is Mr. Hinn?

On another note Brother, are you saying you've been to the Holy Land Experience?
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Default Re: Please give schematics on your Amusement Park. - 02-24-2009, 03:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CuriousAgnost View Post
Err...Who is Mr. Hinn?

On another note Brother, are you saying you've been to the Holy Land Experience?
Why are you here, boy? You should be over in Iraquistan sending sand diggers to hell for Jesus.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Please give schematics on your Amusement Park. - 02-24-2009, 12:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CuriousAgnost View Post
On another note Brother, are you saying you've been to the Holy Land Experience?
Did you see anywhere that I was "saying you've been to the Holy Land Experience?"?

I find it difficult to believe that you can manage to breathe and type at the same time - you provide me with a link to your theme park; the link has a video; I watch the video out of courtesy to you and then you ask if I'm saying I've been there!

I see that God must have a purpose in keeping you alive, because otherwise, your contribution to society is going to be very limited. If He does have a purpose (rather than just having overlooked you for the moment) I do believe that it will be revealed at Landover.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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