Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship > The Poetaster's Korner
Reload this Page The Naughty Old Dutchie of Stilton
The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Langobard

 
Posts: 565
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default The Naughty Old Dutchie of Stilton - 12-25-2018, 07:48 PM

This will be a rather bawdy song, forewarning, however it expresses a moral about testing God and the price of placing one's self over Him!



The Naughty Old Dutchie of Stilton


In the village of Stilton, down by the main court,
there stood a large manor of dubious sort.
And in that old place, the villagers spoke,
of a certain old Dutchie in wimple and cloak.


This infamous Dutchie; a blithely old rose,
sported a growth on the end of her nose.
Though her eyes sparkled with handsomely hazel,
it did not distract from that bump by her nasal.


When the peasants walked by, they'd linger and pause,
and giggle at the old Dutchie's large schnoz.
Though plain to the Dutchie, she paid them no mind,
She strove by the adage that beauty t'was blind.


This blemish did keep her from the King's soiree,
though uninvited, she had arrived anyway,
even when she was barred by the King's own redshirts,
they came outmaneuvered as she lifted her skirts.


In the feasting hall, she came charging in,
and plopped by Lord Bartfell much to his chargin,
By his good graces, he remained firmly seated,
as Dutchie whispered words that cannot be repeated.


Now for Dutchie did she, delight in the cheese,
and sampled the chevre with slovenly ease.
By the mid-course, her heart was a flutter,
and dug her thick thumb down deep in the butter.


She suckled the pig, and gobbled more cheese,
the good nobles wretched, convulsing dry heaves,
they felt distressed from the awful sight,
of Dutchie's wine-swishing, she drank very not light.


High from his throne, the King stared at her hard,
and pondered how deft she surpassed the guard.
Through tired eyelids, he glowered his stare,
as Dutchie's rump was poised high in the air.


Tipsy, she jigged, and waddled her waist,
and stuck her big butt in Sir Manderson's face
This undainty gesture was truly not artful,
lest not so when she gave his face a big fart full.


Roared King, "This behavior must cease and diminish!"
" Do shush" Spoke Dutchie, "Let me hurry and finish,"
Spurned from her stupor, with one cheeky cluck,
Old Dutchie was truly now pushing her luck.


With rash wicked thought, she bent to temptation,
and spoke clearly a bold, vehement declaration.
For the whole court to hear, she stood on her stool,
and said, "You know, Jesus sure is a fool!"


So now you must wonder, what came of old Dutchie?
Needless to say, the King felt rather touchy.
He placed a great bounty upon that old dyke.
She had her skin flayed, and her head on a spike!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved