[goodmorningglasggow]

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield

Why you Haggis muncher! I've just about had enough of you!

Yet I don't care, nor do I eat haggis (which should not be capitalised. Haggis is not a person. If he was, - and I'm assuming it would be a "he", as sheep intestines seem quite manly- he wouldn't like you anyway), as I am a vegetarian!

Avast!

[Mistress Cookie]

Originally Posted by goodmorningglasggow

Haggis is not a person. If he was, - and I'm assuming it would be a "he", as sheep intestines seem quite manly- he wouldn't like you anyway

Mr. Gasglow, it is very important that you show respect toward our Male Church Elders, such as Brother Mayfield. If you would only listen to him and follow his good example, you might win God's favor....and, more immediately, not be banned from these boards forever.

You are playing a dangerous game.


John 11:7 What then? Israel hath not obtained that which he seeketh for; but the election hath obtained it, and the rest were blinded
John 11:8 According as it is written, God hath given them the spirit of slumber, eyes that they should not see, and ears that they should not hear unto this day.

[goodmorningglasggow]

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie

Mr. Gasglow, it is very important that you show respect toward our Male Church Elders, such as Brother Mayfield. If you would only listen to him and follow his good example, you might win God's favor....and, more immediately, not be banned from these boards forever.

You are playing a dangerous game.


John 11:7 What then? Israel hath not obtained that which he seeketh for; but the election hath obtained it, and the rest were blinded
John 11:8 According as it is written, God hath given them the spirit of slumber, eyes that they should not see, and ears that they should not hear unto this day.

While I respectfully acknowledge your comment, I have two points:

1) It's Mrs. Campbell, actually. I own a womb.
2) Respect works both ways. I shall be less rude when he accuses me of "munching" less haggis.
3) Russian Roulette is a dangerous game. This doesn't even toe the line.

[eliot mayfield]

Originally Posted by goodmorningglasggow

While I respectfully acknowledge your comment, I have two points:

1) It's Mrs. Campbell, actually. I own a womb.
2) Respect works both ways. I shall be less rude when he accuses me of "munching" less haggis.
3) Russian Roulette is a dangerous game. This doesn't even toe the line.

Welcome to infractionville, next stop, well, next stop is hell.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Talitha

I have found the Lyrics to what I can only describe as the most Satanic song of all time.

It's called "Me and my Teddy Bear" and I am continually having Nightmares since reading it

Of course he is. Watching, listening, waiting.
This poor child is an innocent victim of Demons.

BAN THEM NOW BEFORE ANY MORE INNOCENT CHILDREN GET CAUGHT!!

When I was a little boy, my parents -- who weren't yet Saved©, though I was reading my Bible every day -- bought me a Teddy Ruxpin. You know, the one you could put cassette tapes into, and it would move its mouth and arms?



Well, Teddy had issues. Kept eating tapes of any Bible stories I put in. Since I wasn't too interested in the evil stories of perversion that came with Teddy -- things like "Heather Has Two Mommies" and "King and King" (a new release for Teddy Ruxpin), the ONLY sorts of tapes that he wouldn't eat -- I just took the batteries out and put him beside my bed.

Every night, Teddy would sit on the nightstand, glaring at me.

Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night, and he would be right next to me on the pillow, whispering things I couldn't quite understand. I didn't know how he could be, since there was no tape, and he had no batteries. Of course, he stopped right when I woke up, and then wouldn't say anything else.

More and more often, I would remember bizarre dreams about pentagrams and torches and chains and men doing odd things to a woman, who they then left bleeding on a fancy stone table. The woman looked a lot like my science teacher's college-age Teacher's Assistant, Miss Jacobs.

Miss Jacobs was very pretty, but she didn't like me. She said I was "brainwashed" and a "Jesus freak" because I liked to read the Bible and wouldn't buy that "millions of years" nonsense the teacher always spouted. She always flaunted her figure when she leaned over my desk, too, just to tease me. Harlot! I told her what God thought of her sluttery, and she just laughed at me. She hated God, and I bet He hated her, too.

I told my mother about what Teddy was doing; she said I was just having nightmares, and that I'd like Teddy better if he slept in bed with me. She said he'd make the nightmares go away. She tucked him in with me that night.

Well, once the light was out, I put Teddy back on the table, watching him closely until I fell asleep. I may have only been 14 4 and a half years old, but I knew he was evil.

At three in the morning, I was awakened . . . Teddy was kicking me in the head for telling on him!

Now, granted, it didn't hurt much, since he was made of polyfill. But it was still pretty disturbing to be attacked by a Teddy Ruxpin! And the things he was saying that he'd do to my mother, the same things he said he'd been out doing to the beautiful, frigid and unloving Miss Jacobs! How could he?

I mean, a Teddy Ruxpin isn't even anatomically correct . . . And how could he hold a straight razor?

I grabbed Teddy and carried him downstairs, shoving him headfirst into the blender and turning it on. My mother came downstairs just as Teddy's mechanical parts caught in the blade, making a horrible noise.

Mom was mad at me for weeks after I broke her blender. I was grounded for two whole months.

She said it would have been only a week if I would just admit that I had thrown raw meat and Dad's razor into the blender with Teddy. But I didn't, honest! Maybe they were already in the blender. Teddy probably put them there to get me in trouble. Like the time he had slashed Miss Jacobs' tires and left the broken knife under my bed; I found it before my Mom did, though, and got rid of it.

When I got to school the next day, they said Miss Jacobs had left town unexpectedly. She never did come back.

Somehow, I don't think she will.

[Meek and Humble]

Originally Posted by goodmorningglasggow

Yet I don't care, nor do I eat haggis (which should not be capitalised. Haggis is not a person. If he was, - and I'm assuming it would be a "he", as sheep intestines seem quite manly- he wouldn't like you anyway), as I am a vegetarian!

Avast!

Oh, that explains it.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...ht=vegetarians

BTW, every time someone tells me they are a vegetarian, I shoot an animal in order to help create balance in the food chain. Any suggestions as to what kind I should go for this time?

[Mistress Cookie]

Originally Posted by goodmorningglasggow

While I respectfully acknowledge your comment, I have two points: 1) It's Mrs. Campbell, actually. I own a womb.

Mrs. C: Then that is even MORE reason for you to show proper respect to our MALE Church Elders.

Our pastors do not make many demands of visitors to this site, but that one is a basic tenant.

If you are interested in Saving your soul, I would suggest you begin by following it. I say this with Sistery Love, and with sincere concern for your future.


1st Corinthians 11:8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
1st Corinthians 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

[goodmorningglasggow]

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie

Mrs. C: Then that is even MORE reason for you to show proper respect to our MALE Church Elders.

Our pastors do not make many demands of visitors to this site, but that one is a basic tenant.

If you are interested in Saving your soul, I would suggest you begin by following it. I say this with Sistery Love, and with sincere concern for your future.


1st Corinthians 11:8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
1st Corinthians 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

If I tell you to get piffleed, can you just ban me now, or do I have to wait...?

[eliot mayfield]

Originally Posted by goodmorningglasggow

If I tell you to get piffleed, can you just ban me now, or do I have to wait...?

I think you have to wait because Jesus told us we might be able to save your soul. Pray with us so you don't go to Hell!.

[Meek and Humble]

Originally Posted by goodmorningglasggow

If I tell you to get piffleed, can you just ban me now, or do I have to wait...?

Why are you so full of hate? Everyone here has been very kind to you and you just insult us.

I just don't understand what's wrong with these atheists...

[Read, Dummy]

Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne

So you're saying we should ignore the Word of God in order to be more "modern"? You're placing modernness above what God requires of us for salvation. And you wonder why we say you are going to Hell?

That's actually Matthew 7:1. Well, a bastardized version because those words aren't in my KJV! Anyways, Matthew 7:1-5 is about hypocritical judgment, not against judgment in itself. Read it, dummy.

Just to clear something up, my user is from the comic The Boondocks. It's the slogan of a newspaper in the comic.
I'm not saying we should abandon the teachings, the point I was trying ti make is that we need to be more accepting and less judgemental. In this thread alone, someone goes out of their way to insult someone for their username, and I think it's ridiculous. Another point I was trying to make is that I think that Jesus wants us to love and accept all people, no matter who they are or what they do. For future pourposes, I don't have a KJB, I use the bible my church gave us at confirmation.

[Read, Dummy]

Reading under my user I'm apparently unsaved trash. Ouch, harsh

[Meek and Humble]

The KJV can be found free of charge on the internet in many location. www.biblegateway.com is a good one. You have NO excuse for ignoring the True Words of God!

Now then.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...p?t=5610#Judge

If you think Christians should not judge others, then this section is for you.

If you think the Bible forbids judging others, then you haven't read it. The Bible forbids superficial judgment based on appearances and it forbids hypocrisy, but it does not forbid judgment. On the contrary, the saved are commanded to pass judgment on others.

Lev 19:15 In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

Jn 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

I Cor 2:15 But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.

I Cor 5:12-13 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

I Cor 6:2-3 Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?

Liberal Christians frequently take Matthew 7:1 out of context by claiming that it is prohibition against judging others. The full context is Matthew 7:1-5, and it is a prohibition against hypocrisy.

Matthew 7
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

My job as a Pastor is to find folks who are lost and to try to get them saved. That job would be made a lot harder if I were unable to judge who is lost and in need of salvation.

[disgustedviewer]

Do not judge so that you will not be judged” Matthew 7:1

That is the first thing i want to discuss. You people are doing exactly what it says in the bible not to do. It states in Romans 3:23 that all men fall short of the glory of God. Who are you to wrongly judge someone else when in the eyes of God you are no better than them. You hide behind bible verses that you misinterpret to suit your own wishes.
John 8:7 states, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." It seems to me that you are ignoring this very important verse. Can you honestly say that you are without sin? the only one whom is without sin is God. Since Romans 3:23 states that all men fall short of the glory of God, then i would suppose that you are not without sin.
How dare you attempt to give yourself rights that are not given unto you by God the father. Until you learn humility, and learn that the bible is not there to be twisted until it suits your own desires, you will forever be a hypocritical man.
So preacher man, how does it feel to know that there's someone whom you can't use the bible to argue with?
p.s. i'm an ordained reverend, and i can't stand to see such blasphemous use of the Lord. I hope you have learned something, and if not, i would be glad to teach you a little bit about the book you so abuse. good day.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by disgustedviewer

Do not judge so that you will not be judged” Matthew 7:1

I have no problems with being judged. And God demands me to judge others!

Leviticus 19:15 "In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour."

John 7:24 "Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment."

2nd Timothy 4:1-2 "I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom; Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine."

That is the first thing i want to discuss. You people are doing exactly what it says in the bible not to do. It states in Romans 3:23 that all men fall short of the glory of God. Who are you to wrongly judge someone else when in the eyes of God you are no better than them. You hide behind bible verses that you misinterpret to suit your own wishes.
John 8:7 states, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." It seems to me that you are ignoring this very important verse. Can you honestly say that you are without sin?

I am free of sin since I am Saved®!

1st John 1:7 "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin."

Revelation 1:5 "And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood"

1st John 3:9 "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God."

How dare you attempt to give yourself rights that are not given unto you by God the father. Until you learn humility, and learn that the bible is not there to be twisted until it suits your own desires, you will forever be a hypocritical man.

It is you who is twisting the Holy Bible by leaving out the parts you disagree with. God does not allow that!

Deuteronomy 4:2 "Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you."

p.s. i'm an ordained reverend, and i can't stand to see such blasphemous use of the Lord. I hope you have learned something, and if not, i would be glad to teach you a little bit about the book you so abuse. good day.

Before you start teaching people about the Bible you could consider actually reading one. Have fun burning in Hell with the other false prophets.

Matthew 24:24 "For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shalldeceive the very elect."

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by disgustedviewer

Do not judge so that you will not be judged” Matthew 7:1

That is the first thing i want to discuss. You people are doing exactly what it says in the bible not to do. It states in Romans 3:23 that all men fall short of the glory of God. Who are you to wrongly judge someone else when in the eyes of God you are no better than them. You hide behind bible verses that you misinterpret to suit your own wishes.
John 8:7 states, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." It seems to me that you are ignoring this very important verse. Can you honestly say that you are without sin? the only one whom is without sin is God. Since Romans 3:23 states that all men fall short of the glory of God, then i would suppose that you are not without sin.
How dare you attempt to give yourself rights that are not given unto you by God the father. Until you learn humility, and learn that the bible is not there to be twisted until it suits your own desires, you will forever be a hypocritical man.
So preacher man, how does it feel to know that there's someone whom you can't use the bible to argue with?
p.s. i'm an ordained reverend, and i can't stand to see such blasphemous use of the Lord. I hope you have learned something, and if not, i would be glad to teach you a little bit about the book you so abuse. good day.

Romans 3:23 is in the past tense. This is very important. It is true that I have sinned, and I have fallen short of the glory of God. But that's not all there is to say on the subject. You see, I believe that having been washed in the blood of Christ washes us clean of all sin. Not just some sin, all sin.
1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

Now, clearly you disagree with that. Clearly, you think Jesus Christ was a jumped-up huckster who doesn't have the power to cleanse His followers of sin, so His death was all for nothing. Well, this is a free country, so if you really want to denigrate the sacrifice He made for us then you can, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't claim to be a Christian while doing so.

[WhySoSerious]

Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher

I just don't understand what's wrong with these atheists...

A non-Christian upbringing?
But I digress, what's with this tangent? I thought this thread was for the mature discussion of sexual plush toys, what to do about them, and so forth.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by WhySoSerious

A non-Christian upbringing?
But I digress, what's with this tangent? I thought this thread was for the mature discussion of sexual plush toys, what to do about them, and so forth.

I hope you aren't looking for purulent material in this thread. I personally think there is nothing amusing about plush toys are being used to sexually abuse people.

[WhySoSerious]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

I hope you aren't looking for purulent material in this thread. I personally think there is nothing amusing about plush toys are being used to sexually abuse people.

I, Bobby-Joe, am looking to better myself by continuing what WAS an intellectual discussion of a morbid problem. My reading was rudely interrupted by other topics and heathens.

[WhySoSerious]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

I hope you aren't looking for purulent material in this thread. I personally think there is nothing amusing about plush toys are being used to sexually abuse people.

Originally Posted by Dictionary.com

pu·ru·lent
   /ˈpyʊərələnt, ˈpyʊəryə-/ [pyoor-uh-luhnt, pyoor-yuh-]
–adjective
1. full of, containing, forming, or discharging pus; suppurating: a purulent sore.

2. attended with suppuration: purulent appendicitis.

3. of the nature of or like pus: purulent matter.

I'm uncertain what you meant by 'purulent', so I looked it up.
I'm not calling into question your grammatical skills, but what did you mean?