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Guns And it is a WAR! - 11-19-2006, 04:28 AM

Welcome and Merry Christmas! This very special forum's sole purpose is to make sure our Lord Jesus Christ has a happy birthday. To best serve Jesus, we must fight a war every year against heathens, pagans, homosexuals, and infidels (The latter group also includes all of the false Christians out there, and let me tell you, there are plenty!).

I have added a few threads, which are near and dear to the hearts of all Landovarians, so have at it. Mother Glendora


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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-19-2006, 04:17 PM

ONWARD, CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS!!!!!
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-20-2006, 07:54 AM

hey.......so um...why are you fighting them exactly?

If you do want jesus to have a happy birthday than why would you spend it fighting others instead of celebrating?
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-20-2006, 07:59 AM

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Originally Posted by not_satan View Post
hey.......so um...why are you fighting them exactly?

If you do want jesus to have a happy birthday than why would you spend it fighting others instead of celebrating?
Because JESUS.....and we....are happier when our enemies are dead and in HELL.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-20-2006, 09:41 AM

any point in me trying to quote all the nice, friendly passages of the Bible? There are a lot of them....we'll stick with one everyone knows...

"Love thy Neighbour"
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-20-2006, 09:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tervie View Post
any point in me trying to quote all the nice, friendly passages of the Bible? There are a lot of them....we'll stick with one everyone knows...

"Love thy Neighbour"
Pervie, if you're going to quote from the Bible, (Only the KJV, by the way) you should do it properly, with Chapter and Verse specified.

Here is one which shows God's glory, telling all of his followers to destroy their enemies.

Deuteronomy 33:27

The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, Destroy them.


Jeremiah.17.15
Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-20-2006, 10:20 AM

sadly, my copy is the Children's Adventure Bible, so anything I ever bother to post will be wrong before your bigotted orbs, yes? ah, close minded fools ye be
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-20-2006, 12:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tervie View Post
any point in me trying to quote all the nice, friendly passages of the Bible? There are a lot of them....we'll stick with one everyone knows...

"Love thy Neighbour"
Do you know what God means when He says "neighbor"? Do you think He intended for us to be sweet and nice to islamofascists who want nothing less than the destruction of America? Do you think He meant we should invite sodomites over for pink tea parties to celebrate their depravity and offer them our children to molest? Or maybe you think God intended us to "love" hook-nosed joos, you know, the ones who KILLED CHRIST OUR LORD?!

I think otherwise. I am quite certain that Jesus was admonishing us to love our fellow True Christians™, not unsaved scum such as yourself.

By the way; in the future, if you want to actually quote the Holy Bible rather than paraphrase from it like a half-wit, you might find that you get taken a bit more seriously. Also, don't bother quoting verses out of context. In order to understand the Word of God, you have to study it from cover to cover.

John 8:43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word.8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. 8:45 And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-20-2006, 05:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tervie View Post
sadly, my copy is the Children's Adventure Bible, so anything I ever bother to post will be wrong before your bigotted orbs, yes? ah, close minded fools ye be
So, of the more than 30,000 verses in the KJV1611 Bible, you have read only about a hundred or 150 of the John 3:16 bits?


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-22-2006, 01:07 AM

I think the best way to fight the War on Christmas would be the change the date. Everyone knows we're only celebrating it on December 25th because an evil pope told us to centuries ago. That practically makes us Catholic!
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-28-2006, 03:15 AM

May the Lord richly bless you for starting this threads and you is absolutely rit..it IS a WAR!! And as Sister Vera Sue says, "Onward CHRISTIAN SOLDIER!"

There sure is lots of HEATHENS and PAGANS out there in the world along with HOMERSEXUALS, INFIDELS, and all sorts of SINFUL PERVERTS a'doin the DEVIL'S evil works! And the sweet LORD knows that there also be plenty of FALSE CHRISTIANS out there in the world too! Practicin their false doctrines and chasin after their false teachers and LYING PROPHETS!! Oh they claim they follow the LORD but they DON'T have the POWER of the LORD, the HOLY SPIRIT cuz they ain't SPIRIT FILLED!! They ain't ON FIRE with the HOLY SPIRIT cuz they is SINNERS ALL!!

This war on Christmas gots to stop! The LORD is goin to do somethin and all we TRUE CHRISTIANS is goin to REJOICE when the UNSAVED TRASH in this world is BURNIN IN HELL'S FIRES! Get the BBQ SAUCE and LIGHT THE FIRES!!
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Exclamation Re: And it is a WAR! - 12-22-2006, 01:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
I think the best way to fight the War on Christmas would be the change the date. Everyone knows we're only celebrating it on December 25th because an evil pope told us to centuries ago. That practically makes us Catholic!
Excellent point, so it's time to remind:

Christ was born as if a Jew.
His birthday is January First;
the day the Child was circumcised.

The seventh day after the birth, the male child would be cut,
and then, and only then, was it considered to have been a living human at all;
if it died before the seventh day, it was of mere flesh-ejection,
not human.

Christ's official birthday during his lifetime, and for centuries to come,
was always pegged as January 1st. And if that was all right by Jesus,
and it evidently was, who are we to allow catlickers to change the DOB
to suit their tutti frutti lickings?
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 12-22-2006, 03:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
Excellent point, so it's time to remind:

Christ was born as if a Jew.
His birthday is January First;
the day the Child was circumcised.

The seventh day after the birth, the male child would be cut,
and then, and only then, was it considered to have been a living human at all;
if it died before the seventh day, it was of mere flesh-ejection,
not human.

Christ's official birthday during his lifetime, and for centuries to come,
was always pegged as January 1st. And if that was all right by Jesus,
and it evidently was, who are we to allow catlickers to change the DOB
to suit their tutti frutti lickings?
Thank you, Peter, for giving me a wonderful idea . . . Let's close the bars between the false holiday and Sweet Baby Jesus' real birthday, so the heathens can show some respect to HIM!

PS For those who refuse to obide by our rules (and I assume they'll be a bit tipsy) a good Godly stoning party will be in order!


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 12-22-2006, 11:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
Thank you, Peter, for giving me a wonderful idea . . . Let's close the bars between the false holiday and Sweet Baby Jesus' real birthday, so the heathens can show some respect to HIM!
Perhaps instead we should celebrate His birthday by toasting with a golden, sparkly wine! Surely He would approve of wine-drinking, especially at so momentous an occasion as the celebration of His birth!

We can tell the heathens that's why drinking Champagne (even though it's usually California sparkling white wine) is so popular as soon as it's January 1, a TOAST to JESUS!
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 01-04-2007, 06:58 PM

When will all of this religious oppression come to an end? The nigras, the hippies, the homers, the LIEberals, and the mudslimes have ALL the rights, and we wealthy white male suburban Christians have no more rights at all!! Me and my wife of 34 years, Delores, must live in the shadows, skulking around, driving separate cars on back roads to church to evade the constant persecution of LIEberals. It's like some kind of scary, futuristic science fiction movie!!

All my rights are gone. As a good True Christian, if I want to tie up a homer, douse him with gasoline and set him alight to give him a taste of eternal hellfire, all of a sudden I'M the bad guy. The liberal activist judges, big city police, hippy liberal DEMONstrators, and the LIEberal media would portray me as a bad person-- which I'm not. Just because as a Christian I believe that all homos should be burned alive as an abomination to God, then I'm subject to relentless religious persecution.

That is just ONE illustration of the oppression of wealthy white male suburban Christians in this country. The same unfair and outrageous religious persecution would happen if I tried to gas Joos, hang uppity Negroes, shoot a hippie in the neck, or firebomb a mosque. We wealthy Christian male Republicans are totally helpless, with no more rights at all. Sometimes I wonder if I'm still living in America.
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-24-2007, 12:40 AM

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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-24-2007, 05:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington View Post

All my rights are gone. As a good True Christian, if I want to tie up a homer, douse him with gasoline and set him alight to give him a taste of eternal hellfire, all of a sudden I'M the bad guy. The liberal activist judges, big city police, hippy liberal DEMONstrators, and the LIEberal media would portray me as a bad person-- which I'm not. Just because as a Christian I believe that all homos should be burned alive as an abomination to God, then I'm subject to relentless religious persecution.
Yes, Brother H., it is surely an abomination that good, right-thinking Christians are being persecuted in America today by such insidious laws such as Hate Crime legislation.

But fear not. I predict that 2008 will be the year of Armageddon and The Rapture. The discrimination we suffer shall soon be avenged.



YIC,
Buford


yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



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- Rush Limbaugh
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-26-2007, 12:42 PM

Christmas IS evil, i agree. I saw a guy dressed up as father christmas, clearly mocking our lord and saviour, so i punched him in his face! That will teach him for insulting Jesus!
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eliot mayfield's Avatar
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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-26-2007, 02:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by worried_for_america View Post
Christmas IS evil, i agree. I saw a guy dressed up as father christmas, clearly mocking our lord and saviour, so i punched him in his face! That will teach him for insulting Jesus!
Father Christmas? Are you some kind of British person? Why did you all let Tony Blair, a True Christian ™ leave office?


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: And it is a WAR! - 11-26-2007, 03:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by worried_for_america View Post
Christmas IS evil, i agree. I saw a guy dressed up as father christmas, clearly mocking our lord and saviour, so i punched him in his face! That will teach him for insulting Jesus!
That's nothing. Just yesterday, over at the Wacko, Texas Super Wal-Mart, they had a Mexican dressed up in a Santa outfit, ringing a bell and yelling "Feliz Navidad!," which is Spanish for "Up yours, Jesus." He had a box for people to put money into. Claimed it was for charity, but you know he was gonna steal the cash and spend it all on cheap tequilla and women.

Isn't anything sacred?

YIC,
Buford


yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
- Rush Limbaugh
 

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