[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Brothers & Sisters,

While I have been on fully-paid Sabbatical for nearly a year, I just cannot fully put aside my work for the Lord. He has recently put it upon my heart to discuss with the brethren a very important topic: vacations.

Being that it is summer-time here in America, True Americans™ often set aside a few weeks to travel, whether to a beach house, to Alaska or to some tropical island. Kids are out of school, and mom & dad are itching to take time off of work to spend with their families, relaxing "away from it all".

It may not be immediately apparent, but Satan is at work here! While a vacation might seem like a Godly way to foster a loving family relationship, looks can be deceiving. However, since when has waking up at noon been a show of Godly character?

Instead, this year I urge you to turn your vacation into a mission trip. Instead of visiting beautiful Palm Springs, I suggest you look for an alternate place to spend the summer time off. No more will your children have the same mundane memories as everyone else: "remember the time mom went down the water slide and twister her ankle" or "Remember when dad forgot his wallet when we tried to check into the Motel 6?" Now it will be "remember the time that dad was incarcerated in a Turkish prison for preaching the gospel to natives at the local brothels" and "remember when mom converted the prince in Dubai after a late night leading to an international diplomatic incident?"! Imagine the scrapbooking material you can come up with!

Speak with a Pastor today for a list of Landover-Approved vacation destinations and start your family tradition today! We have a wide assortment of various destinations around the globe with a gullible-yet-rich-with-oil-dollars population just itching to hear the Gospel as preached by Landover-approved pamphlets.

Remember, we are commanded to spread the gospel to all corners of the globe -- do your part today!

[HTannor]

Godly advice, Dr. Ville. Thank for interrupting your sabbatical to provide us with it.

I had planned to spend my vacation on a queer-conversion mission to San Francisco where I had planned to use Dr. Marcus Bachmann's patented "Pray the Gay Away" therapy.

My mission had a two-fold purpose in that I was also going to test the moisture barriers built into the latest KJY1611 bible. By exposing the Good Book to the high humidity found in the gay bath houses sprinkled throughout the city I hoped to be able to write a preface to be included in later editions.


However, you're suggestions have pointed me in a different direction.

I will now spend my vacation in Qatar where I will bring the heathens to their knees with my campaign to convince them to renounce the butt sex so rampant amongst the camel herders within their nation.

I will convince the Emir to finance my crusade with tithing demands that represent the Godly 10%™ we so highly recommend.

I will return to Freehold both refreshed and rejuvenated and pursue my duties as a jurist with new-found vigor.

[Fleabitten Wolf]

Vacations are Satan. There is no time off for spreading the good will of God. Work is God. Only the hardworker is rewarded with the access to Heaven.

Very nice idea Ernest. The words of God should always be spread.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Venerated Wolf

Vacations are Satan. There is no time off for spreading the good will of God. Work is God. Only the hardworker is rewarded with the access to Heaven.

Very nice idea Ernest. The words of God should always be spread.

Please justify yourself with scripture instead of just giving your own opinion. We want to hear God's opinion. Not man's opinion. Okay, friend?

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Venerated Wolf

...Very nice idea Ernest...

I'm sure the good Doctor didn't spend those nearly three weeks studying at Landover Baptist University's School of Advanced Scientheism to be treated with such familiarity...