For her 6
th birthday I gave my daughter, Alice, a plush Unicorn. I did it to remind her of the many Biblical teachings related to this rare creature:
Quote:
Originally Posted by God
God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of the unicorn."-- Numbers 23:22
"God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn."-- Numbers 24:8
"His glory is like the firstling of his bullock, and his horns are like the horns of unicorns: with them he shall push the people together to the ends of the earth."-- Deuteronomy 33:17
"Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib? Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee? Wilt thou trust him, because his strength is great? or wilt thou leave thy labour to him? Wilt thou believe him, that he will bring home thy seed, and gather it into thy barn?"-- Job 39:9-12
"Save me from the lion's mouth; for thou hast heard me from the horns of unicorns."-- Psalm 22:21
"He maketh them (the cedars of Lebanon) also to skip like a calf; Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn."-- Psalm 29:6
"But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of the unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil."-- Psalm 92:10
"And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with their bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness."-- Isaiah 34:7
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Recently I asked her how she liked her unicorn, and what she had learned from it. She said that she "rode" the unicorn often, and after a while she gets a "fuzzy feeling". Instantly I understood what was going on. My intended Biblical teaching aide had become an aide of an entirely different nature - a sex toy, teaching her all the techniques of whoredom!
After a very vigorous paddling session I burned the plush sex-toy in front of her, pausing only to brush the tears from her eyes so she could see the burning clearly.
I then sent her to bed without dinner and got to work researching the horrors of plush toys. It turns out there is even a form of plush "love doll" called "teddy babes"!
And then there are these:
Even when they are not inducing orgasms, some plush toys are terrible role models. Just look at these:
The Bible tells us that Satan will come to us in soft, cuddly ways. "
Wolves in Sheeps clothing" is the exact quote. Indeed, many plush toys are made of actual wool!
PARENTS! BEWARE WOLVES IN (Soft, cuddly) SHEEPS CLOTHING!