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Satan's Entertainment Discussion for Movies/TV/Music/Video Games/Pop Culture. How HELLY-wood is destroying our society and parents can learn to protect their children from sinful influences like Disney, Pacman, and Tic-Tac-Toe.

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Exclamation Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 07-17-2013, 02:46 AM

True Christian™ moles being at the forefront of detecting Satan's entertainment as they are, Satan will have to try harder to sneak his sulfur-stained wiles past the Godly™. And a workin' our moles have been! Just one series of threatening emails from Yours Truly and my son Connor and the game blogs have fired back by prematurely announcing to the world what their latest hell-piece is, the continuation of the GTA series called Grand Theft Auto 5.

Quote:
The folks over at Rockstar Games have been teasing us with Grand Theft Auto V videos that are just long enough to scratch our GTA itch but too short to reveal any important details. So, even though we've gotten to know the game's characters, we haven't seen much gameplay. But today, Rockstar was kind enough to show off some in-game footage for their upcoming opus, and I must admit, it looks incredible.

Last week, we learned that Grand Theft Auto V would require two disks: an install disk, which manages most of the environmental data, and a gameplay disc. Anyone who played a game on the PlayStation 2 is undoubtedly familiar with this system, but considering the capacity of today's DVDs, we were all a little surprised. But now that we've actually seen some of GTA5's mechanical elements, the need for more disk space is less surprising.

The world of Grand Theft Auto V, a caricaturized version of Southern California, is simultaneously filthy and lush, extravagant and rundown. It can be all of these things because of its size. The attractive-sounding woman who provides the voiceover for today's trailer describes it thusly: "A sprawling, satirical reimagining of modern Southern California, covering mountains and oceans, expensive stores and strip malls, urban decay and untouched wilderness, beaches and backwoods, the sublime and the ridiculous, greed and hypocrisy."

full article
A highly anticipated game, GTA V is due for release September 17, 2013 for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. Releases for the PC and Wii U are being considered by Rockstar, but have not been officially announced.



Well, folks, there just isn't any easy way to say these things so bear with me, but here are those "important details" that have been missing...

As one can see from the trailer, three depraved LA homosexuals on a quest for materialism commit unspeakable acts between episodes of murder, rape, theft (of course!), and mixing races. The True Christian™ moles who initially hacked in to come about this information have uncovered many secret levels where orgies occur, where the three males go at it to get things started, and where President Obama himself lends a hand with Bill Ayers when firebombing churches becomes necessary. Bonus points are awarded for pimping and running brothels, selling cocaine, and marrying a sassy-mouthed multi-culti diva.

About midway through, it is time to do legal damage. Your characters must sue whites for discrimination and for reading the Bible and praying in public schools. Doing so can open hidden levels for those with transexual fantasies. When one becomes a "baby daddy," they are awarded The Satanic Bible with its curses and chants that cause misfortune to all Christians.

On the final level, the three males must masturbate in their fecal matter and then pray over a pentagram-marked altar doused in sheep's blood where they formally give their lives over to Lord Lucifer in order to rule LA and then the world (that will be in part 6). The game ends with your naked fecalpheliac characters chanting praises to a massive goat head as the camera pans out from their new lair.

Satan is trying hard, folks, but we are onto him. With your awareness and prayers, we can warn the world about this next most diabolical tool of darkness.

"Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time." (Revelation 12:12)

Pastor Ed



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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 07-17-2013, 03:01 AM

Another homosexual/homicidal training program aimed at turning children in to androgynous bisexuyal walking zombies who must stay plugged into the machine. When does this thing come out? There will be people killing over it within the first week.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Talking Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 07-26-2013, 01:49 AM

!! Is this for real?! Oh my gosh! I need to pre order that game right now!
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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 07-26-2013, 01:53 AM

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Originally Posted by missMien View Post
!! Is this for real?! Oh my gosh! I need to pre order that game right now!
Of course you would. By your name you sound like a French female pig willing to take any penis offered to you.

Be gone from our site Mademoiselle pig.
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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 07-26-2013, 01:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by missMien View Post
!! Is this for real?! Oh my gosh! I need to pre order that game right now!
If you want to tick off the Big Man Upstairs who controls your breathing, then go right ahead...

"But hast lifted up thyself against the Lord of heaven; and they have brought the vessels of his house before thee, and thou, and thy lords, thy wives, and thy concubines, have drunk wine in them; and thou hast praised the gods of silver, and gold, of brass, iron, wood, and stone, which see not, nor hear, nor know: and the God in whose hand thy breath is, and whose are all thy ways, hast thou not glorified" (Daniel 5:23)

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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 07-26-2013, 02:05 AM

You know... I have so much to say to that. But I hate sounding that rude. So I will settle with a smile.
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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 07-26-2013, 02:15 AM

Uh.. Deaner.. That profile pic you're using is pretty famous on the internet. I suggest you use another.
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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 07-26-2013, 02:22 AM

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Originally Posted by missMien View Post
Uh.. Deaner.. That profile pic you're using is pretty famous on the internet. I suggest you use another.
I can't help it if people dig me. But stinky sluts like you can just stay away (you slant eyed low life; go eat some rice and noodles. Tell me though, honestly. Are you a chink or a frenchie? Remember, Christ is watching every word you type).
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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 07-27-2013, 04:07 PM

You can play tennis or golf? This game is made for sissies who prefer to bend over then beeing a Christian.
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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 07-27-2013, 04:23 PM

When this rape simulator was released there was a ten fold increase in rape (both traditional and anal): FACT, I expect.

This game should have been banned bofore it even came out

Jesus sees you.


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 08-04-2013, 09:53 AM

I can not wait to play this game so that I may find all the god hating blasphemy inside and pray to god to destroy rockstar games and their vile entertainment.


There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Ezekiel 23:20
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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 09-14-2013, 11:46 PM

I just heard that this horrible game allows you to fly planes and fly them into buidlings. This game will sell very good in muslim countries.
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Default Re: Grand Theft Auto 5 is Coming: Featuring Triple-powered Theft, Blasphemy, and Decadent Perversion! - 09-15-2013, 09:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
I just heard that this horrible game allows you to fly planes and fly them into buidlings. This game will sell very good in muslim countries.
Especially since the flashy sports cars are part of the glamour of the game. Now all the teenaged arabs will have 3 more role models. Every convenience store owner and his cousins will be playing this in the back room the next time you try to walk in and purchase a coffee.



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