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Default WORTHWHILE CHARITIES - 10-12-2007, 11:21 PM

Dear friends,

I was stopped in town just the other day by some blind heathen, begging for my loose change for some pathetic charity. It almost choked me when she did. I honestly didn't know whether to laugh, or push he over on her fat ugly blind ass for such blasphemy!

To think that me, a man of God, would give even a dime to a sightless retard like that is almost an insult, and to dare ask me to donate some of MY hard earned cash to some spastic hospital for blind mute babies in not only insulting to me, it is insulting to God! Why do they need a hospital for blind kids? Just lock them in the attic and throw away the key. It's not like they will see any different? Or lock them in the basement, and tell them they are on a beach. Take them for a walk around the attic and tell them they're in a park. It's really not that difficult.

YES, we DO believe in giving to Charities, as long as they are worthwhile. ie. Save the Church tower.

Though, as Christians, we don't believe in giving money to worthless campaigns such as 'save the sick children', 'kiddie kemo cancer victims', 'donate to the retard home', or ' rescue dumb animals'.

If kids are dying, then God intends them to die. If they have cancer, God gave them it. God wants them to suffer, probably for something their parents done to deserve it. I have no doubt that many of these blind cancer kemo losers parents were either junkies, goths, pedophiles, alcoholics, drug addicts, wiccans or Jews. Why should we waste money on trash like that, when the Bible teaches we must be doing everything in our power to glorify God and please him?

We should be giving to charities intent on building more statues, temples, shrines to God, so that he will save us come Judgement Day. Not wasting our money on God's rejects!

So I thought I would start this interesting thread, and see what other charities True Christians on this forum feel is worthwhile?

Rev RG Green
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Default Re: WORTHWHILE CHARITIES - 10-12-2007, 11:31 PM

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Originally Posted by revrggreen View Post
Why do they need a hospital for blind kids? Just lock them in the attic and throw away the key. It's not like they will see any different? Or lock them in the basement, and tell them they are on a beach. Take them for a walk around the attic and tell them they're in a park. It's really not that difficult.
I'd never really thought of all that. Hell, you could give them a couple of rocks and a sponge and tell 'em they're toys.
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Default Re: WORTHWHILE CHARITIES - 10-12-2007, 11:42 PM

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I'd never really thought of all that. Hell, you could give them a couple of rocks and a sponge and tell 'em they're toys.
The possibilities are endless for keeping blind folks amuzed. I would highly recommend all parents of these ugly animals to buy a treadmill (or running machine), much like they use in gyms.

Every time little Timmy feels like going for a walk in the park or in the street, simply put him on the treadmill and leave him to it. Then they don't need to endure the shame of explaining to their friends that their kid was born 'wrong'.

There really is no reason for blind-folk to EVER leave the home.
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Default Re: WORTHWHILE CHARITIES - 10-13-2007, 07:57 AM

My husband, Mr. Whitford, gives all our spare money to Landover on top of our regular tithe. I can't think of any organization more deserving.


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Default Re: WORTHWHILE CHARITIES - 10-13-2007, 09:30 AM

We're very keen on charity here at Landover. Why, we've run fundraisers for just about every worthwhile cause you can think of - sending Bibles to victims of the Tsunami, buying Pastor Al a new Learjet, sending Bibles to victims of Hurricane Katrina, buying Pastor Ezekiel a new Learjet, sending Bibles to victims of the earthquake in Kashmir, sending gourmet cuisine to improverished white male Republican Christian consultants in the Green Zone in Iraq, sending Bibles to people unfortunate enough to live in Massachusetts, buying Pastor Al another new Learjet...the list is practically endless.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Question Re: WORTHWHILE CHARITIES - 12-11-2007, 03:06 AM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
We're very keen on charity here at Landover. Why, we've run fundraisers for just about every worthwhile cause you can think of buying Pastor Al a new Learjet,buying Pastor Ezekiel a new Learjet, s, buying Pastor Al another new Learjet...the list is practically endless.

I am just curious, why is buying a learjet a good fundraiser to raise money for. Three Learjets. I mean, I just want to know?
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Default Re: WORTHWHILE CHARITIES - 12-11-2007, 03:32 AM

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I am just curious, why is buying a learjet a good fundraiser to raise money for. Three Learjets. I mean, I just want to know?
Those learjets are needed to fly them from one Republican campaign to another, a fine use of our charitable monies.

Some heathen fool asked me to contribute to a home for brain-damaged children. I did donate a box of pencils; those little mongoloids can be happy chewing on them for awhile.
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Default Re: WORTHWHILE CHARITIES - 12-11-2007, 01:56 PM

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Originally Posted by MatthewRogers20 View Post
I am just curious, why is buying a learjet a good fundraiser to raise money for. Three Learjets. I mean, I just want to know?
I wonder, do you expect me to take a Greyhound Bus to those Polynesian Islands to spread the word of God to the countless heathens out there? Have you no heart?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: WORTHWHILE CHARITIES - 12-12-2007, 06:28 AM

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Originally Posted by Mr. Jingles View Post
Those learjets are needed to fly them from one Republican campaign to another, a fine use of our charitable monies.

Some heathen fool asked me to contribute to a home for brain-damaged children. I did donate a box of pencils; those little mongoloids can be happy chewing on them for awhile.
It is refreshing to find a promising member who understands GOD's ways. And I do like the pencil idea as long as we never have to imagine them chewing on that metal band that holds the eraser!!! CRINGING GLENDORA


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